Don't give him your old iPhone. Get an Android. Much easier to monitor and control.

Anonymous wrote:You can set it so that he can't download any new apps without your approval, and set time limits on the few default apps that can't be removed. You can set Do Not Disturb times, so his friends can't be texting him at school, allowing only your number to go through during that period. And you can limit communications to only their contacts and emergency numbers.

The built-in settings are pretty helpful, if you think everything through carefully.

This is how I do it too.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t worry. It doesn’t matter. His friends will be happy to show him porn on their phones.

Last night DD told me that kids used to airdrop it at school (gr.7).

Don’t worry. It doesn’t matter. His friends will be happy to show him porn on their phones.

Does he not have a laptop? The internet is everywhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi - my son is off to middle school next year and I'd like to give him my iPhone when he turns 12 next month (and upgrade for me). Is there a way to restrict everything but texting and calling? Not really comfortable with such ready access to internet and such until he's a little older. 12 just seems still too young for that...

I thought about a flip phone for him since I'm really only comfortable with giving him access to text and call his friends, but I also want to be able to "track" him. I put track in quotes because I know I could only see where the phone is.

TIA

Save yourself the headache and stress and don’t give them a smart phone until 8/9th grade.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:Hi - my son is off to middle school next year and I'd like to give him my iPhone when he turns 12 next month (and upgrade for me). Is there a way to restrict everything but texting and calling? Not really comfortable with such ready access to internet and such until he's a little older. 12 just seems still too young for that...

I thought about a flip phone for him since I'm really only comfortable with giving him access to text and call his friends, but I also want to be able to "track" him. I put track in quotes because I know I could only see where the phone is.

TIA

Save yourself the headache and stress and don’t give them a smart phone until 8/9th grade.

op, that tracker is the best. you will see, the phone will never leave his side. I love Life360 and it has really helped when someone is running late etc, and instead of calling/nagging, I can just see what's going on.

I want to recommned that you set the rules before you get the phone. it's hard--you will see, esp. as your kid becomes a teen--it's hard to "put toothpaste back in the tube" on things, but easy to get them in play from the get-go.

So, for example, I did not allow electronics upstairs (the bedrooms). They put their phone downstairs for the night. OP, nothing good happens on an iPhone after 10pm, so this is a great strategy. The rule stayed into effect until my kid was probably 16, then it broke down but didn't really matter at that point.

Another rule is the Life360 will stay on, always, as a condition to having the phone. I took the Life360 app and buried it in an app folder off the first screen page, just so my kids would not be reminded of it.

And rules about them not ignoring your texts, or calling you back.

Also teach them that (except for you) they do not have to text back immediately. The problem with young minds and texting is that they think they have to text back immediately or their friend will get hurt or mad. The rapid texting back and forth can make for poor decisions on what they are saying, and all that is forever readable by anyone (ie. can get them in trouble). They need to slow down.

Teach them how to "train" their friends, for example, by not texting back immediately, or not texting back after 8pm. They can mention to their friends ("I can't text after 8pm", then follow through. The friend will learn that Larla doesn't text back after 8pm and will not text them.

Basically all this is teaching boundaries.

If you search this forum or google, you'll find great examples of a phone contract you create with your kid. In retrospect I don't think I needed that much detail, but the above suggestions I really encourage.

Understand that you may restrict apps, but this does not stop them from doing what they want. I refused to approve Instagram and my DD just went around me and set up an account on the web. This becomes very very difficult to control.

Under settings on your new phone will be family sharing, use that - apple's screen time is really good for restrictions. There is a wide range of parameters and it is very easy to monitor childs use. Apple has many articles about it, but probably best to just explore around it.

You can restrict or limit apps and use in every which way possible, create always allowed, create downtime, create content and safety restrictions. The child will always be able to call 911 of course, and you can make always allow (a lost if approved contacts) which overrides the other settings.

So if you limit a game app for 30min child gets a 5min warning, then can get an additional min, then can send request for more time. App shuts down on it's own. You can also only allow use of the 3pmin between x and y time.

You can set it so that he can't download any new apps without your approval, and set time limits on the few default apps that can't be removed. You can set Do Not Disturb times, so his friends can't be texting him at school, allowing only your number to go through during that period. And you can limit communications to only their contacts and emergency numbers.

The built-in settings are pretty helpful, if you think everything through carefully.

Also, in the settings feature there is an option to block/limit times for app/internet/game use.

Anonymous wrote:You can use a program like Our Pact to turn off apps on his phone remotely.

I'm sure there are other solutions out there. That is the one we use.

Thank you! I'll look into that. We have the circle for our computers and tablets.... mostly worried when out of the house/peer pressure. My niece got into serious trouble for a tik tok she posted at school. Freaks me out.

You can use a program like Our Pact to turn off apps on his phone remotely.

I'm sure there are other solutions out there. That is the one we use.

Hi - my son is off to middle school next year and I'd like to give him my iPhone when he turns 12 next month (and upgrade for me). Is there a way to restrict everything but texting and calling? Not really comfortable with such ready access to internet and such until he's a little older. 12 just seems still too young for that...

I thought about a flip phone for him since I'm really only comfortable with giving him access to text and call his friends, but I also want to be able to "track" him. I put track in quotes because I know I could only see where the phone is.

TIA