OP here. ugh. I shouldn't have checked back on this before bedtime, now I'm worried! (Although I'm glad that there is a little hope from some PPs.)

Okay well, to answer a PPs question, I've never micromanaged her schoolwork and she gets good grades. And she lined up her summer job today. So wth is going on; why is she not looking at these emails? Is it anxiety?

(Well it's definitely anxiety on MY part, but I mean, why is this happening?)

We sat down and had some difficult conversations. Our DD also got in ED and there wasn’t much communication from the school, but she joined the group chat. Now there is a lot to do, and it has to be done right for the amount we are paying. I’m happy to help talk through things but she needs to check at least twice per week. Basically, I put the fear of God into her by saying that if too many things fall through the cracks, we would pull the plug and she can go to community college.

I’m in the same spot with DC. But they are 18.5 years old now. I’m not going to keep hand holding. Its time to Live and learn.

You should have come to our house tonight. My DD has been the same and we had a whole drama about housing tonight. We've pulled back so we don't micromanage. She procrastinates. We made progress but, well, I her you.

Anonymous wrote:Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens. They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn. It's ok and will be ok. Promise.

Nope. I have a graduating HS senior and a college sophomore. These are executive functioning skills that should have been developing since middle school and should be fully in place by now.

Most of the kids have already identified roomates and signed up for rooms. If there is summer orientation, it is likely those sign ups have come and gone. Class sign ups? Those may have passed too.

If she isn't connecting with the other incoming freshmen via social media and taking care of the basic minimum of first year of college and housing, then it is will be rougher going come September.

Anonymous wrote:Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens. They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn. It's ok and will be ok. Promise.

I think the opposite is true and PPs likely have college age kids. Most kids heading to college are excited and eager to check their email and for the first time, be the primary contact for things. If OP’s child isn’t checking email they could wind up missing tuition and housing payment deadlines as well as other important dates which can lead to all sorts of major problems and issues.

Anonymous wrote:Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens. They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn. It's ok and will be ok. Promise.

Huh? Have a college sophomore, high school senior and sophomore.

Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens. They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn. It's ok and will be ok. Promise.

No, that’s not normal at all.

How did she manage her own stuff in high school? Or did you do that for her? Not a day goes by in high school without 10+ emails from teachers and club leaders about things that need to be submitted, meetings to be attended, etc.

You need to make sure she sends in the housing information on time. That will be a real headache for both of you if she doesn’t. Or she will get crappy housing.

Anonymous wrote:This is going to be a huge issue. Colleges don’t communicate with parents, so everything is going to go straight to her. She may have missed deadlines for housing, registrations for orientation, registration for classes, and who knows what else. If she isn’t even capable of checking her email. You need to think long and hard if she’s ready for college.

+1

Your child is not ready for college.

Come to Jesus meeting. She’s being really irresponsible if she won’t even read her email.

This is going to be a huge issue. Colleges don’t communicate with parents, so everything is going to go straight to her. She may have missed deadlines for housing, registrations for orientation, registration for classes, and who knows what else. If she isn’t even capable of checking her email. You need to think long and hard if she’s ready for college.

DD got in ED to College X last December, and seems excited to go, and has bought College X sweatshirts and shirts etc. Even a parka LOL as it will be a weather change. She's been wearing the parka and shorts...

However; since that time, she has not checked her College X Portal emails, or clicked on emails sent from College X to her high school email inbox. She's like the only kid I know who is not on social media, but that is now looking problematic as College X keeps mentioning to check the Class of 2025 on facebook, instagram and/or Twitter to keep up to date.

Back before May, I encouraged her to check her email at least, but tried not to nag and also tried not to get concerned because I knew that until May 1, colleges didn't have their classes completed, so any College X important emails would be after that date.

Right before May 1 I reminded her that College X communications on housing, etc, will become important after May 1.

I've been trying not to micromanage and want her to take ownership, so have left it alone until now. I checked the website today and yikes there is all this stuff to do and stuff to make her onboarding experience easier. And she's missed some meeting already. So I looked and sure enough, she's not checked her College X email, or opened her high school email from College X.

I feel like I'm trying to drop the rope, but now that I've dropped it, my DD doesn't seem to even notice the rope, let alone pick it up! It's not like I haven't pointed out that there is a rope that she needs to pick up...

So, I would like to ask you guys a couple of things:

1) Anyone else in this situation? I'm trying to discern if this is a bit typical and I should not worry so much, or if my kid is really an outlier, and

2) Any strategies for me to get DD on the path here?

Thank you!