For those of you with older kids who found 3 the hardest, can you identify what thing or things shifted that made it easier as they got older? I am working with a wonderful but absolutely exhausting 3 yr old and I guess I'm looking for light at the end of the tunnel.

Specifically, I'm talking about the push back and, to a lesser degree, whining. All the "no way" and "I'LL do it" and "I don't want to." The whining is also a challenge but I know that's partly just a kid thing and something we'll have to keep working on. But the pushback on everything is so exhausting, it means nothing is easy, even fun activities that I know she's excited about. It just wears me down.

Anyway, would love to know what might break that dam. I know being a parent is never easy, but I am definitely hoping that age 4 and 5 will be a little less exhausting.

Parent of 3 kids here: it's entirely kid dependent.

Two is my favorite age so far.

Three is my least favorite.

My kid is only 16 months, but I'm interested to see how I'll land on this. Before I had kids I LOVED LOVED LOVED newborns. OMG so tiny and snuggly. Then I had my own newborn. And it turns out when it's your kid, newborns SUCK.

Whereas, my least favorite age for other people's kids has always been four. They mostly can behave, they're out of the terrible 2s/3s - but they're still little, and they still have their moments, and when they do I find myself being like "ugh, are you too old for this?" when it wouldn't bother me when they were 2 or 3. And this is across many different families and parenting styles, so I know it's me. We'll have to see if four bothers me as much with my own kids! Maybe when it's my kid, I'll love four and hate 2/3? We'll have to see!

Age 2 sucked for my older kid because I had an infant right after she turned 2. Age 3 with her was slightly better.

Age 2 with kid #2 was fine. Age 3 SUCKED though. Thankfully my older kid was mostly out of it by then. But I tell everyone to space more than 2 years because that spacing was really intensely hard for the first 2 years or so.

Now they are 4.5 and almost 6.5 and it's DELIGHTFUL. Age 4 is much better. They are verbal and interested in everything but they adore you and want to snuggle. They can also watch a full movie so you can get a break if you need it, unlike younger kids.

3 is the worst.

Three. I miss the days where frustration was about being able to talk or express herself! At three, her verbal skills are great and it gives her lots of ways to tell me just doesn’t want help, she can do it herself, she’s mad at me, I hurt her feelings, or she wants me to go away. So exhausting. She doesn’t accept anything, either. Like we can’t just put food in front of her or set out clothes. She’s got strong opinions and wants to express them all the time.

I didn’t find that early toddler stage that challenging by comparison.

I am hopeful that things will get easier in the next couple years as she gains more independence. We are theorizing that learning to read is going to be huge for her because she so clearly wants to be able to do that on her own. I think a lot of her frustration right now stems from her understanding that the world is full of coded info, but not yet quite knowing how to decode it. Unlocking that door will be big for her (I hope).

For us 1-2.5 was the easiest. My son was so easy and you could easily redirect him. Between 2.5-3.5 was really difficult, tantrums and power struggles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me, it's not able age, but stage. That stage when their speech hasn't caught up with their brains and they're super frustrated because we can't understand them and they can't adequately express themselves is the worst.

Agreed. Our worst age was like 18 months when she had no words and was biting people to make her point.

+2 the young toddler age is awful.

Anonymous wrote:To me, it's not able age, but stage. That stage when their speech hasn't caught up with their brains and they're super frustrated because we can't understand them and they can't adequately express themselves is the worst.

Agreed. Our worst age was like 18 months when she had no words and was biting people to make her point.

For me, nothing is harder than zero to one. My kids were such hard babies that everything after babyhood was joyful.

To me, it's not able age, but stage. That stage when their speech hasn't caught up with their brains and they're super frustrated because we can't understand them and they can't adequately express themselves is the worst.

Two and three are my favorite ages. I love three — so much to say, but still holding on to your hand tightly.

My DS is about to turn 3 and I think he is wayyyyyy easier than one year ago, when he was a non verbal maniac running around. Now he seems to have some reason and can have a real conversation and play by himself for 30 minutes. So much less stressful!

My little one is about to turn 3 and I am having flashbacks of my first at this age. 3 was tough for us... a lot of whining and pushing back! I am not ready for another year of this.