Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

+1

In 2021, attractive/beautiful women are also athletes in addition to having good careers/degrees.

The women that have it all attract the highest level mates. More and more women today are more successful than men in the millennial and younger generations. They also are 60% to men's 40% on college campuses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

I would be surprised if a lot of women are confused about this.

I remember men literally turning around and leaving the conversation when I told them I was in medical school at 22. I promise you that by 22.5, I was under no illusion that this was attractive to men.

I think it is up to a certain point. My guess is successful men want a similarly educated spouse, but maybe not more educated or successful.

According to my DH a lot of the things women think are attractive on other women are not sexy to men - lots of high fashion, trendy makeup/hair, very thin body shape, more angular/harsh features. He's just one man so take it with a grain of salt but according to him and his friends a sexy woman is athletic with some curves/softness, dresses in clothes that are low maintenance but fitted to show off her body, has natural-looking hair and makeup, and is happy/smiling.

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

I would be surprised if a lot of women are confused about this.

I remember men literally turning around and leaving the conversation when I told them I was in medical school at 22. I promise you that by 22.5, I was under no illusion that this was attractive to men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

+1, there's a poster who shows up all the time claiming that successful men marry "pretty baristas" but it's really a Cinderella myth. However, I do agree with the idea that men don't really care about job title. I'm an HR cog, my fiance is a VP. I'm a far cry from being a barista, but my job title isn't on par with his. But we come from similar backgrounds, both UMC and grew up in suburbs of NYC, and I suppose I'm "successful" in the sense that I have no debt and own my home. Like seeks like, but that doesn't mean they need someone with the same level career that they have.

Anonymous wrote:Apologies in advance if some similar thread was created once upon a time but this seems like a common question one might ask.

What are some things that women get hung up about and assume men will care about, when they actually don't give a crap?

Nearly everything that comes out of your mouth

Weight, within reason.
We don’t care if you’re 115 lbs or 130 lbs and obsessing over that is annoying and not attractive. Just don’t be obese and you’re fine.

What's fashionable.
Also, perceived slights, particularly around gift-giving.
A lot of women don't care about either. It's just a subset of women that seem to care about this.

Some of them agonize over buying the latest trendy clothes, even when it's really not a flattering cut for them and makes them look less attractive.
It's smarter to showcase your best features, and choose colors that work well with your skin, eyes and hair.

Same thing for gifts and special occasions and supposedly passive-aggressive comments from other women. Most of the time, taking things at face value is really the best solution. Not every action or remark is intended to make you feel bad!

Anonymous wrote:Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

This isn't happening. Successful men are more likely to marry successful women. Marriage is becoming a thing for the affluent and elite, people are not crossing socio-economic classes to marry. It's called assortative mating.

Most men (high earners in particular) don't care what a woman's job title is, how much she earns, or what she owns. They care that she is attractive and in good physical shape, has a nice, pleasant personality and would make a great mother. Full stop, that's the full list.

That's why professional women are always so confused when the high-status, handsome man they were pursuing goes for the pretty, easy-going barista/daycare worker who loves kids.

Right, because men are the ultimate arbiters of what matters. Why should we feel bad about caring about something even if men don't? Not everything is done for men's performative gaze.

Shaving. Nail polish. Cellulite.

I think many women have no idea what men find attractive. And all the effort they put into trying to look a certain way is a waste of time.

Are you asking only men's opinion? How women know this?

Apologies in advance if some similar thread was created once upon a time but this seems like a common question one might ask.

What are some things that women get hung up about and assume men will care about, when they actually don't give a crap?