What are the most comment mistakes you see FTPs make that you would discourage as a former nanny/daycare attendant/current young mom?

Do you think there are innate differences in little boys and little girls?

Anonymous wrote:I actually have a parenting question, but I figure you might be a good resource given all the experience with very young kids.

I have a 3 yr old who has 100% regressed on potty training and will no longer even consider it (like we're back in pull-ups full time and child has total meltdown if we even offer underwear). No amount of incentivizing, bribing, positive reinforcement has worked. I am at a loss. Pediatrician told me to just relax and let it happen on its own, and said that taking the pressure off is the best approach. My mom thinks I should send kid to OT and keep prompting, requiring child to sit on potty, etc., until it happens. WWYD?

Does your DC seem to have a fear of using the toilet or are they just not interested? Do they seem to have any sensory issues? Anxious child or stubborn (or both?) I’ve had a handful of children with a phobia of using the toilet due to chronic constipation. It’s definitely an issue I’d address with a pediatrician and possibly get other professionals involved. A meltdown when offering underwear could be anxiety? Do they have painful stools? Any recent UTIs? New sibling?

But overall I agree with your pediatrician. Sometimes the pressure can be too much and they want to take control. I’d totally drop the subject for awhile and don’t even address it. Give them a little break (don’t offer underwear, don’t talk about the toilet) but..I’d have them assist more in diapering. At this age a typical child knows what needs to happen. Have them help grab diaper, throw it away and take your time. Make diaper changes obviously fine, but slow and boring so they don’t see it as the easier option. I think given that there are no other issues, your goal is to help them realize using the toilet is the easier option. If that 4th birthday is approaching and there is still no progress I may check in with your pediatrician again.

My older two and most of my older two and most of my nanny kids were 3ish when they fully potty trained and it was overall on their own terms. Not a huge fan of pushing it at 18-24 months but it works for some kids. Many seem to regress.

Best of luck!

Anonymous wrote:If you were ever to need childcare for your children what type of childcare would you pick?

A nanny isn’t in our budget but I prefer it to daycare for many reasons... or at least for infants and younger toddlers.

I know this opinion isn’t going to be wildly popular but for experience daycares are not what’s best for children under 2. It’s really hard for adults with numerous babies to meet the emotional needs of infants and toddler. Basic needs, of course and most staff truly love your children but are so overworked and underpaid and overwhelmed with kids.

If I were to choose a daycare it would be one with lower ratios that’s strict about what ages can be within a classroom.

But if I had a high paying job I loved and we had the money I’d pick a nanny. I’d love to come home to a clean house, my kids fed and bathed etc so I could just focus on them versus picking up dirty faced kids from a daycare and driving them home only to fix them dinner, bathe them etc.. all while totally exhausted.

I actually have a parenting question, but I figure you might be a good resource given all the experience with very young kids.

I have a 3 yr old who has 100% regressed on potty training and will no longer even consider it (like we're back in pull-ups full time and child has total meltdown if we even offer underwear). No amount of incentivizing, bribing, positive reinforcement has worked. I am at a loss. Pediatrician told me to just relax and let it happen on its own, and said that taking the pressure off is the best approach. My mom thinks I should send kid to OT and keep prompting, requiring child to sit on potty, etc., until it happens. WWYD?

If you were ever to need childcare for your children what type of childcare would you pick?

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

36.

Anonymous wrote:As a person who has witnessed and experienced how daycare and nannies affect children, is that one of or the main reason you are now a SAHM?

Several reasons.

Financially it wouldn’t make sense for me to work at a daycare as they notoriously underpay and the majority of my check would go to putting my own children in daycare as well.

Nannying while putting my own kids in daycare wasn’t an option and we tried the “bring your kid to work” thing while nannying and it didn’t work out. I felt like my kid was getting the raw end of the deal and at the will of my employers.

We made me staying at home work. I also keep my husband coworkers kid (one child) three days a week for the past few years and that basically covers all our groceries.

On a personal note. I’d never put my baby in a daycare center. I worked at two different, decent centers and I see not benefit to it. I get for many parents that’s their only option but until 18 months I do not see any benefits. Only cons (basic needs are met, but beyond they fall short, by no fault of staff. You have to remember childcare centers are a business.). I DO see the benefit of daycare or preschool in a 2/3/4 year old depending on the individual child. My oldest started going part time at 3.5 and it was a great decision. Obviously hiring a nanny wasn’t in the cards, although I do know high earning nannies who hired nannies for their own kids but that’s truly bizarre to me... so staying at home makes the most sense. Plus it’s easy to go back to nannying once my youngest is in school.

How old are you?

Anonymous wrote:How old are your own kids?

I do not see the point of parenting AMAs with parents whose kids are not teens yet. Pride goes before a fall and all that. I have way too much experience with teens.

I’m expecting questions about working in a childcare more than parenting I guess. My kids are 5, 3 and 14 months. Don’t expect any questions about parenting, isn’t this board full of them?

As a person who has witnessed and experienced how daycare and nannies affect children, is that one of or the main reason you are now a SAHM?

Anonymous wrote:Was that your intended career goal or you just fell into caring for kids and stuck with it for 15 years?

Social Work. Worked at a Daycare through undergrad and grad and hated it once I got into the workforce. Found a summer nanny position and it paid 3x better so I stuck with it till I had my own.

Always loved working with kids.

How old are your own kids?

I do not see the point of parenting AMAs with parents whose kids are not teens yet. Pride goes before a fall and all that. I have way too much experience with teens.

Was that your intended career goal or you just fell into caring for kids and stuck with it for 15 years?

Ask me your questions about daycare, nannies and childcare in general.