Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:11     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

I always think that—if you thought about your best friend from HS or college or your 20s and then imagine you had to live with them for the rest of your life and make all decisions jointly...you would say “no way! That’s crazy!”
All that plus sex is a lot to put on one relationship. It’s no wonder that it fails 40% of the time, and is fairly miserable in about half of the rest.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:11     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

The problem is, we need the eggs.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:09     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

I'm very glad that I married the person that I did and enjoy being married to him specifically. I have never met someone else who I could even imagine being married to for more than a hot minute.

But I am also aware that I really didn't know what measurements to use or what to value when I was getting serious with someone compared to someone that has been married for decades. It was dumb luck that it worked out this way given that I didn't have the tools to make the right decisions at the time.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:07     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

Marriage is great if you want a family. Not needed if you don’t
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:06     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

Some people have wonderful marriages. I have an excellent partnership , friendship, and physical relationship with my spouse; 2 great kids; companionship; financial security; and support system. I can't imagine life without him.

Marriage can be hard but so much of it depends on finding someone you are actually compatible with on many key issues, including family, children, sex, politics, conflict resolution style, etc.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:04     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

My DH is awesome. We live a great life together and have fun.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:02     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

You're miserable. I didn't find being single, engaged OR married to be miserable. I love the hell out of my husband. I'm thrilled to be married to him.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 14:00     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

My marriage is happy but I'm not sure what I'm getting out of the literal marriage aspect of it. There are legal advantages, but I'm not religious and I don't think there are any emotional benefits to me from being married vs being together but not married.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 13:58     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

I thought having a stable partner for life in a loving relationship was a good idea at the time.

15 years later, I'm thoroughly thankful I picked the mate I did, or rather, fooled her into taking me, and cant imagine life without her or our family.

Humans seem wired for it, your mileage may vary though.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 13:58     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

Anonymous wrote:My marriage isn't miserable, so your premise is off.

NP.. there are miserable moments in the span of a long term marriage, but agreed, my marriage right now is really good, and I'm glad I got married.

I am especially thankful that I had my spouse during the pandemic. I think if I had been single, and living alone, I would've ended up as the crazy cat lady, and I'm allergic to cats.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 13:57     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

My marriage isn't miserable either. It's sexless which isn't ideal, but we have so much fun together. I can't imagine not being married.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 13:57     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

Because it beats being lonely all by yourself.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 13:56     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

I love being married. It can be hard sometimes, but for me, it's better than being single.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 13:56     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

My marriage isn't miserable, so your premise is off.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2021 13:55     Subject: Marriage is miserable: why does everyone want to get married?

Why is everyone obsessed with getting married?