Youtube is stupendously awesome! Almost anything you can think of, somebody made a video to show people how to do it. Takes away a lot of the fear factor in trying to do something yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not like there’s some genetic reason you and your husband aren’t handy, you’ve just never bothered to learn. If you want your kid to be handy, someone needs to teach him. The simplest way for that to happen is for you to learn to do projects alongside him. Next time a project comes up around the house, do the research to figure it out and work together with him to do it.

This is exactly it. You just have to start doing stuff instead of outsourcing. Between my wife and I, we can do just about everything that needs to be done. Since YouTube, it's never been easier to acquire a new skill.

Our kids are learning because they think it's normal to do everything yourself.

This. I was going to suggest YouTube as well. Good luck!

Idiot tax. I love that term.

I’m the handy person in our house, because I grew up with a dad who taught himself to be handy – both because he didn’t have much money and wanted nicer stuff than he could afford and also because paying a “professional” doesn’t mean something will be done well. So I helped out a lot and paid attention and can do a lot of DIY stuff. My brother, on the other hand, wasn’t interested in helping out or learning and now has to outsource everything.

I hate hiring people to do stuff I can do myself for a fraction of the cost, even including the idiot tax.

So if you’re just starting out, start small and assume a project will cost 2X the projected $ amount due to screw ups. Around here, you’re still probably saving at least 50%.

The only way to get good at it is to practice.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not like there’s some genetic reason you and your husband aren’t handy, you’ve just never bothered to learn. If you want your kid to be handy, someone needs to teach him. The simplest way for that to happen is for you to learn to do projects alongside him. Next time a project comes up around the house, do the research to figure it out and work together with him to do it.

I don’t know. I am fairly handy but my DH is the absolute worst. I would rather do it myself or outsource than ask him to do anything. If I do ask, it takes him all day for a simple task, multiple trips to Home Depot spending money on supplies and tools he will never use again, and the end result is usually f-ed up. Some people are terrible at visualizing how things work and fit together.

OP here. Thanks for your messages. My husband will not even build basic furniture so I am the one who does it even though I grew up in a house where women just didn’t do this stuff. I know, that’s a really low bar but I’m at least better than the other women in my family.

I’ve tried to get my kid involved in building the side table and desk for his own room but he just didn’t care. It was like pulling teeth. My family lives on the other side of the country and because my brother is aware that my son lacks these skills he sent my son a 3-D printer (after consulting him) and it’s been 4 months and it’s still not finished. This is a kid that attends a magnet program in the sciences so there is simply no excuse except laziness and just lack on interest.

Thank you for the tip about the drivers permit. He will be eligible for that this summer and I’ll see if my brother can teach him all that. Maybe me too!

Also needed to add, in my family you could not get your driver’s permit until you changed a tire on the care without assistance (we were obviously taught how first), check the oil, open the radiator cap, add wiper fluid, and show how to properly use jumper cables.

I think I would consider myself a failure as a dad if I did not impart on my child the traditional experience of repeatedly reeling my child she was it shining the flashlight in the right place while I tried to fix something.

But seriously, start small. Let him paint his room whatever color he wants, but he has to paint his room. Then have him research the tips and tricks to doing it correctly (which could include asking his grandfather or uncle).

There is a video on pretty much everything these days. Your teenager is not likely to read a book but if they are anything like mine, they will go online and watch multiple videos. Develop a list of maintenance issues to address in your house, pick one each month, research together how to fix it, go buy the supplies and go do it. It’s really a matter of priorities. If you make this a priority everyone will learn something.

The only way to learn is to by helping someone do it.

I asked my 2.5yo to bring me a screw driver yesterday and she said "a phillips or a flat head?" and I told her to look at the screw and check and she correctly brought a flat head.

Youtube is a great resource too. My DH has done many complicated fixes from watching youtube- AC, boiler, dishwasher, etc

Anonymous wrote:It’s not like there’s some genetic reason you and your husband aren’t handy, you’ve just never bothered to learn. If you want your kid to be handy, someone needs to teach him. The simplest way for that to happen is for you to learn to do projects alongside him. Next time a project comes up around the house, do the research to figure it out and work together with him to do it.

This is exactly it. You just have to start doing stuff instead of outsourcing. Between my wife and I, we can do just about everything that needs to be done. Since YouTube, it's never been easier to acquire a new skill.

Our kids are learning because they think it's normal to do everything yourself.

It’s not like there’s some genetic reason you and your husband aren’t handy, you’ve just never bothered to learn. If you want your kid to be handy, someone needs to teach him. The simplest way for that to happen is for you to learn to do projects alongside him. Next time a project comes up around the house, do the research to figure it out and work together with him to do it.

two books...

honestly i would recommend that you Dh and DS pick a small project one day, like change out a switch plate or an outlet, or swapping out the guts to a toilet. and do it.

why just expect him to be handy, when you're not, and as a family you can all learn to start being handy. But yeah if your brother is handy and hes close, send the kid over

https://www.betterworldbooks.com/product/detail/Home-Improvement-1-2-3-9780696213274?shipto=US&curcode=USD&gclid=Cj0KCQjwyN-DBhCDARIsAFOELTnVZB2FZ1GCzOTqHrXoD80EMBSP4zLyDJZDLkgr5vQ2jS9tDj9fz0IaAht8EALw_wcB

https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Repair-Do-Herself-Anything/dp/0060959843

Have him spend time with your brother and dad - if they are repairing a fence or paining the house send him over for a few days to help. Mostly it’s just confidence. That means YOU can be handy. Decide to make or fix something very simple and ask your son to do it with you. You’ve just got to get in there and try. “Handy” is just a skill set you don’t have...yet.

My husband and I are not handy in terms of being able to fix things around the house. My brother and dad on the other hand are. How can I teach my teenager? I'm afraid he is even worse than his parents.