I think it's a little crazy that you are talking about your future's child wedding.

My daughter is 20 months and the only thought about wedding anything related to her has been, she can do whatever she wants when she's older.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will encourage elopement. Weddings are a huge waste of money. I’d gladly pay for a nice honeymoon and a down payment a down payment for a starter home.

Not your call.

It's her call if it's her money that's paying for it.

My husband felt very firmly that he only wanted people at the wedding that WE were in touch with, who WE had relationships with independent of our parents (meaning it wasn't his mom saying "Great Aunt Sylvie and Uncle Paul say hello and asked how you were," but he and I going to FL and visiting with them.

His dad owns a business with a good friend and the good friend and his wife were invited. MIL's best friend and her family were invited. My dad, his wife and his best friend who has been like an uncle to me were invited. Everyone else was our friends.

Those are all people DH and I had relationships with and considered close. Our wedding was 11 years ago and we're still close with them. I actually have flowers in the vase MIL's best friend gave me for my engagement party right now.

Anonymous wrote:I will encourage elopement. Weddings are a huge waste of money. I’d gladly pay for a nice honeymoon and a down payment a down payment for a starter home.

Not your call.

We’re not church people but have a good group of friends from college and work/interests. Our kids are growing up with a lot of our friends kids and those who live farther away or don’t have children are still “Aunt and uncle” to my kids.

You certainly don’t need church to have a community

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are paying for the wedding, you shouldn't put it on your kids to invite your friends. It's their wedding, about them, not you. Even if you are paying, it's a fast way into Monster-In-Law to try and stack the guest list.

To answer your question - your kids are inviting their friends and extended family who they want to their wedding(s). YOU aren't inviting anyone, unless your kids also want them there.

Hold on a second! You all are telling me your parents did not invite their friends and your relatives to your wedding?

Maybe, it's because I met DH when I was 19 and we got married when we were 23 but both of our parents invited their relatives, some friends of theirs and we invited our friends as well. Maybe we were too young to know but half of my family tree was there, some who I had never met before. This is mind blowing!

I will encourage elopement. Weddings are a huge waste of money. I’d gladly pay for a nice honeymoon and a down payment a down payment for a starter home.

Anonymous wrote:So I have a question....maybe too early and silly to think about it now as my children are still young. When I grew up, my parents attended a church and this was their social group. When I got married they invited our extended family plus church friends to the wedding. We had less than 100 but still a lot of guest.

Fast forward now and we don't attend church regularly and barely have a social group. Long story short, who are we inviting to this future theoretical wedding? As our kids age, do you think we will get the opportunity to do more social things and meet more people well enough to invite them to our kids wedding?

We stopped going to church regularly long ago, but at both kid’s weddings, old friends of DH and I, and extended family were invited as well as the couple’s guests. Beautiful weddings and so much fun!

People are isolated nowadays. The things that used to connect people (church, clubs, sewing circles, civic volunteerism) have disappeared from the social landscape. The world ironically gets smaller as it gets connected online.

Church is actually a great place to socialize. You should attend more often if you want to make more friends.

????

The wedding is for the couple's relatives and friends, not the parents' friends. Even if the parents are paying for it.

Are you worried that the guest list will be too small without padding? Do you somehow think a small wedding is bad?

What is your problem, OP???

Lol.

At this point I have no idea if my kids will want to get married, if they want to get married in a church, or how large they would desire their wedding to be. (And it’s a major pet peeve of mine when parents of a couple want to invite everyone and their brother)

But Let’s play along, we don’t go to a church either but have a fairly large friend group. Friends from high school, college, kids preschool parents, elementary school parents, neighbors. I don’t think church friends are needed to fill a wedding reception.

So I’m getting married next weekend (actually, we had a covid ceremony in January and are having our celebration next week), and my husband and I chose the guests. Our parents didn’t choose our guests.

So, I’d say your children will choose and you don’t need to worry about it.

Unless you are paying for the wedding, you shouldn't put it on your kids to invite your friends. It's their wedding, about them, not you. Even if you are paying, it's a fast way into Monster-In-Law to try and stack the guest list.

To answer your question - your kids are inviting their friends and extended family who they want to their wedding(s). YOU aren't inviting anyone, unless your kids also want them there.

So I have a question....maybe too early and silly to think about it now as my children are still young. When I grew up, my parents attended a church and this was their social group. When I got married they invited our extended family plus church friends to the wedding. We had less than 100 but still a lot of guest.

Fast forward now and we don't attend church regularly and barely have a social group. Long story short, who are we inviting to this future theoretical wedding? As our kids age, do you think we will get the opportunity to do more social things and meet more people well enough to invite them to our kids wedding?