Anonymous wrote:
I know I didn't write this, because my son is not sporty.

But I have the exact same problem - DS disappoints my husband, and every time my husband has a bad day, he takes it out on our son.

My son has ADHD and Asperger's and can be very frustrating to deal with.... but screaming at him every week, and not showing him any affection at all, is abusive and very damaging.

I can't divorce. I need to be there to defend him.

Ugh. I understand entirely. I’m sandwiched between two aspies, the angry 40 yo H and the acting out 8 yo DC. I’m about to turn down a promotion I can’t take any more hours or higher demands.

I know I didn't write this, because my son is not sporty.

But I have the exact same problem - DS disappoints my husband, and every time my husband has a bad day, he takes it out on our son.

My son has ADHD and Asperger's and can be very frustrating to deal with.... but screaming at him every week, and not showing him any affection at all, is abusive and very damaging.

I can't divorce. I need to be there to defend him.

Anonymous wrote:Every day this forum reminds me why I stay away from men.
Ladies, I hope it gets better for each of you soon.

I wish I had. I will after this all is over. We haven't talked in days and I don't know how to move out or even where. At least I have the money, not like a year ago.

UGH. Present, not "president," above, sorry.

List why you married him in the first place. Is there anything of that man still president?

List anything positive about him at this moment. Is the sport and DH's behavior toward son THE key problem, which--if it were changed--would return the family to a more positive footing?

Script out what you will say when you sit down to tell him you see him treating your son as an extension of his own aspirations are: sports (if that's accurate).

Tell him his treatment of your son has soured you on HIM. Then tell him you have already set up an appointment with a couples therapist and if he refuses to participate you will see a therapist on your own and are considering what to do next if he cannot stop making your son so unhappy.

Be aware that if you divorce, your DH could end up having huge amounts of time with your son, without you there as a buffer, and the bullying and toxic behavior around the sport could worsen.

I’m so happy to be divorced. And believe me if I can get divorced so can you. I hope you find a path to happiness.

Every day this forum reminds me why I stay away from men.
Ladies, I hope it gets better for each of you soon.

OP here. We just moved into a bigger house that I really didn’t want to, because I felt like I was trapping myself. I am mostly happier because I have more space to myself, but it’s also an albatross. Tomorrow he’ll act like everything’s back to normal. He can never apologize or grow from his mistakes.

To all the Pp....I’m sorry.

Me too. I'm sorry. It hurts the worst when the go after the kids.

Me too. Life is too short.

Same. Can't even find a couples counselor - they're all booked up.

I'm sick of mine too. We are both just c-existing until DC (7) is able to be without one of us 24/7. Getting close though.

I am sick of mine too.

The reality is I feel very little respect and a lot of contempt for him. My son plays a sport and because he is not working as hard as my husband thinks he should, he basically bullies him. My son is very sensitive and these things hurt him. I am not perfect, but I am so sick of him. We have these big blow out fights once a quarter. I am stuck because of house and kids. He does so little around here and then when we get into a fight he does even less. Ugh.