My wife is against pet ownership on a philosophical level so I have no idea how to convince her as it’s not an issue about costs or who cleans what.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, a dog is definitely part of the quintessential American childhood.

You can have a nice life without a dog. But it will be warmer and richer with one

I just don’t buy into the consumerism that goes with dog ownership.

Most dog owners don't either, if you mean toys/treats/groomer/trainer, but it's true that a responsible dog owner does have to pick up, and that involves plastic. You can reuse plastic bags if you want. You can groom a dog on your own - I groom and bathe my high-maintenance show dog. In the end, plastic and kibble are the only things you consume. I don't count essential medical care as consumerism.

Anonymous wrote:IMO, a dog is definitely part of the quintessential American childhood.

You can have a nice life without a dog. But it will be warmer and richer with one

I just don’t buy into the consumerism that goes with dog ownership.

Kids can be fine without pets. But I will say, as the parent who has been dying for a dog and who was willing to do all the work, getting a puppy last summer has been wonderful for my 13 year old son during covid. It gave him a focus outside of himself. He has been helping with the dog's care, and is on a schedule to help feed and walk the dog. And he had mild anxiety about dogs before this. Having his own puppy has helped that tremendously as he came to better understand dog behavior.

I wouldn't do it just for the kids. I am empathetic to your husband's desire to get a dog and if he would do all the work, I'd be more inclined. Because as much as I love dogs, my mother was put through hell by my father's insistence to have dogs...two large mastiffs....and yet not do any of the care and cleaning. My mom did it all and that was completely unfair. So it does have to be a family decision. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I think he should get one for him, not the kids if you agree and he takes 100% responsibility for it.

IMO, a dog is definitely part of the quintessential American childhood.

You can have a nice life without a dog. But it will be warmer and richer with one

I grew up with a dog from zero to 13. I had to give her breakfast and my brother had to give her dinner. At the start of summers my mother would remind us to make sure her water bowl was always full. After the dog went for a walk in the rain we'd use her towel to dry her. By the time I was in third grade I would walk her every day after school. We gave her hanukah presents. When I was sad I would lay down next to her at the top of the stairs and cry to her about all my sad little suburban girl angst. She was in the professional pictures for my older brother's bar mitzvah.

I love dogs. It was good for me as a kid, as the youngest person in the family, to learn how to take care of someone else. It's not like when it's your job to throw out the trash. If you don't feed the dog, the dog suffers. So a child feels a stronger sense of responsibility to a pet.

Im in the no dog camp. DH wants one and his kids grew up with several dogs...however, they (his kids) didn’t exactly turned out great in the character department. Think multiple divorces, alcohol, debt problems..so the argument falls flat for me.

I’m pro dog, we have two and my 8yo adores. Having said that, there are many childhood rites of passage that don’t involve a living being you may not feel sure about bringing into your life for the next 15 years.

Anonymous wrote:I think letting the kids enjoy having a pet goes on the pro side of the pros/cons list. For me I’d want them to be old enough to participate in the animal’s care. We’ve told dd we’ll get a dog when she’s 11. I’ve got a couple of years to go!

I think the important part is that you guys have a lifestyle that works for a pet, and that the person least interested in getting the animal isn’t the person saddled with all the work. It’s easy to say the kids should have a dog, but that person should also be willing to do the feeding and walking and related chores.

OP here. Our youngest is turning 9 this summer, oldest 13.

I don’t really expect them to help out much beyond occasionally walking the dog or playing with her to tire her out.

we waited and the kids begged and we finally broke down and got a pet. for my 14 year old son, it was amazing to see him attached to something and a sweetness come out.
it is a good lesson in responsibility and there's a bond that forms there. with my tween who sometimes puts up a wall with us (normal tween angst) or emotional times, the dog is a comfort and something that brings joy. my son didn't actually want the dog at first because he didn't want to have to take care of it. i don't force him to take care of the dog. if you get one, just realize it's a lot of work and that often falls on the mom! the dog brings us more joy than we could have imagined. it's helped my marriage, it cuts some tension in the house.

If he really wants a pet, he should get a pet, unless household members are allergic.

The other argument is ridiculous. Millions of people on this earth grow up without pets because they live in high-density living quarters and the prevailing culture is not conducive to pets.

I think letting the kids enjoy having a pet goes on the pro side of the pros/cons list. For me I’d want them to be old enough to participate in the animal’s care. We’ve told dd we’ll get a dog when she’s 11. I’ve got a couple of years to go!

I think the important part is that you guys have a lifestyle that works for a pet, and that the person least interested in getting the animal isn’t the person saddled with all the work. It’s easy to say the kids should have a dog, but that person should also be willing to do the feeding and walking and related chores.

I agree with your husband IF no one hates or is allergic to dogs AND you have the bandwidth and money to care for and enjoy. Especially if one of the spouses wants an animal-if my husband said no to a dog lightly knowing I really wanted one that would be an issue.

This is my husband’s argument to get a dog. He wants one for himself just because he loves dogs but he also says he thinks having a dog/growing up helping to take care of a dog is an important part of childhood* so he wants our kids to have that experience as well.

What do you think? I didn’t grow up with pets at all (parents didn’t want the mess or work) so I am apprehensive about the labor aspect of it but could be talked into it if it’s important for kids to grow up with a dog.

* could probably also extend this to cats or another household pet