Anonymous wrote:She should look at liberal arts colleges that give merit aid. You might be able to get close to what the state schools cost and she could have smaller classes.

We tried this route with our older kids, and they didn't get enough merit aid (even at much lower-ranked schools) to fill the gap. Our older kids went to state colleges purely because of price.

If anyone has a gifted kid who was/is happy at a lower-ranked school, please post. Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she's not on the spectrum. A psychotherapist friend calls her a late bloomer, which may be the case. She's a kid who reads a four-hundred page book in an hour, yet she forgets to study for an English test. I don't know what you call that. Immaturity?

I call that very, very obvious ADHD. Classic symptoms, in fact.
The hyperfocus part of ADHD means she gets lost in her book.
The inattentive part of ADHD means she forgets due dates and assignments.
It's sad you didn't catch on sooner, because she could have had a much better experience at school, and been much happier. Children with ADHD who are left to struggle on their own often because angry and frustrated, and are more likely to turn to self-medication with drugs or other undesirable activities.

You want to get her evaluated by a psychologist as soon as possible. Don't ask your pediatrician, they are not trained in that specialty.

(BTW, twice exceptional means gifted with disabilities, not necessarily Aspie. It can be dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety, whatever.)

She's been unhappy due to the isolation caused by the pandemic, so I had her evaluated. The psychotherapist said she's gifted and hypersensitive to stress, but no ADHD. She's fairly well organized. Forgetting to study for a test has only happened once or twice. She reads prodigiously.

My apologies, then, I misunderstood.

I think she'll be happier in grad school (or law school or med school), once she focuses on the topics she REALLY wants to study. Tell her she has to power through until then, otherwise she won't reach that goal. What does she like to do?

She is right, AP classes are stupid and busywork. Real college is so much more fun. I think your daughter will love college no matter where she goes. You can pick your own classes and friends. Agree with the PP to go with the state flagship (uva, umd, etc).

I would also consider applying for full ride scholarships like the Johnson Scholarship at Washington and Lee, for example. Definitely apply for a Echols scholarship at UVa. Even if she does not get the scholarship, she might get more aid.

Can she take college classes locally for dual enrollment? It might be paid for by the high school and she can probably go off campus for half the day. Even Community college classes are generally more interesting and rigorous than high school, and by getting college credit she will be able to skip those giant into classes at the state flagship and get into those interesting professor-led seminars. Do well in college, build relationships with faculty, and she can go to grad school for free.

Try a school like Kenyon that has super generous merit aid and where she might be a competitive applicant,too. When we did the math, it was cheaper for my child to go there than the University of Michigan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she's not on the spectrum. A psychotherapist friend calls her a late bloomer, which may be the case. She's a kid who reads a four-hundred page book in an hour, yet she forgets to study for an English test. I don't know what you call that. Immaturity?

I call that very, very obvious ADHD. Classic symptoms, in fact.
The hyperfocus part of ADHD means she gets lost in her book.
The inattentive part of ADHD means she forgets due dates and assignments.
It's sad you didn't catch on sooner, because she could have had a much better experience at school, and been much happier. Children with ADHD who are left to struggle on their own often because angry and frustrated, and are more likely to turn to self-medication with drugs or other undesirable activities.

You want to get her evaluated by a psychologist as soon as possible. Don't ask your pediatrician, they are not trained in that specialty.

(BTW, twice exceptional means gifted with disabilities, not necessarily Aspie. It can be dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety, whatever.)

She's been unhappy due to the isolation caused by the pandemic, so I had her evaluated. The psychotherapist said she's gifted and hypersensitive to stress, but no ADHD. She's fairly well organized. Forgetting to study for a test has only happened once or twice. She reads prodigiously.

She should look at liberal arts colleges that give merit aid. You might be able to get close to what the state schools cost and she could have smaller classes.

She takes all AP and honors classes, no regular classes. She hates the APs, says they are stupid, full of make work. She learns by reading outside of class.

First, you might try contacting the CTY program admins and see what colleges they suggest. Your state flagship university is almost always a good choice in this situation. A lot of state schools have a very wide range of students, so often gifted students can find a good peer group, as long as the school is reasonably large enough. Look for your in-state options that have honors colleges, or lots of opportunities for honors work or faculty research opportunities.

If you are willing to share what state you are in, people may have more specific suggestions.

Anonymous wrote:No, she's not on the spectrum. A psychotherapist friend calls her a late bloomer, which may be the case. She's a kid who reads a four-hundred page book in an hour, yet she forgets to study for an English test. I don't know what you call that. Immaturity?

I call that very, very obvious ADHD. Classic symptoms, in fact.
The hyperfocus part of ADHD means she gets lost in her book.
The inattentive part of ADHD means she forgets due dates and assignments.
It's sad you didn't catch on sooner, because she could have had a much better experience at school, and been much happier. Children with ADHD who are left to struggle on their own often because angry and frustrated, and are more likely to turn to self-medication with drugs or other undesirable activities.

You want to get her evaluated by a psychologist as soon as possible. Don't ask your pediatrician, they are not trained in that specialty.

(BTW, twice exceptional means gifted with disabilities, not necessarily Aspie. It can be dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety, whatever.)

No, she's not on the spectrum. A psychotherapist friend calls her a late bloomer, which may be the case. She's a kid who reads a four-hundred page book in an hour, yet she forgets to study for an English test. I don't know what you call that. Immaturity?

Yes, done all the net price calculators. No, we won't get enough FA to equal the price in-state. She's not exceptional enough to get a full ride scholarship at any of the schools like Duke or U Chicago that offer them. Yes, there are lots of CTY kids in this area, but many either qualify for FA or have the means to go to top schools We are not in either category. DD's going to a state school, more likely than not, and that worries me, perhaps needlessly, but I'm worried nonetheless. Even if she got into Harvard, she would not go there. They would not give us enough FA. Yale's NPC said we didn't qualify for any FA at all.

4. No need to brag, OP. This area is full of CTY students who are "exceptional" and "outstanding".

1. Gifted does not equal stellar student. The former is a description of cognitive reasoning, the latter describes actual achievement and productivity. To get from one to the other, you need executive functioning skills and drive beyond what an IQ test can measure. Is she perhaps twice exceptional, OP?

2. Top colleges give financial aid below certain incomes and assets. Look into it.

3. How many AP classes and does she have 4s and 5s? If it's a 3.88 gpa with regular or Honors classes, she might not even qualify for her state flagship, some of whom are getting rather selective. Check Naviance and grades/test scores of this year's admitted students (things move quickly, so don't go by previous years' numbers for admitted students).

Have you done net price calculators? A private college may be more in reach than you think. I went to CTY and then Bryn Mawr and found them very similar. It’s worth at least checking to see if you could get enough financial aid to make it work.

DD is a junior, and her only options for college are in-state because of our family's financial situation. She has a 3.88 at a good public high school, one sport, no ECs to speak of. She hates high school with a passion, thinks it's idiotic, all her classes are stupid, hates the administration and its crazy rules and incompetence, etc. She does the work because her friends do it, but she has no enthusiasm for school at all.

She went to CTY at Johns Hopkins for three summers, where she really blossomed. She told me recently those were the happiest weeks of her life. Her CTY teachers said she was "exceptional" and "outstanding."

I'm not bragging, I'm worried. I fear she'll be unhappy and unchallenged in college. We can't afford to send her to a CTY-like top college. If you have a similarly gifted kid who went to a lower-ranked college, how did s/he do? Did your child find a peer group? Were the classes interesting/challenging enough? Any advice most appreciated.