I try really hard to pronounce people's names the way they pronounce them. I feel gunshy at times, though, particularly with Spanish names. Like I'm trying to make fun of their accent or something. So it's a balance of trying to be respectful without sounding like an ass.

Having said that, I married an Egyptian. His surname is a bit difficult to pronounce, and it's pronounced differently than how the rest of the Arabic speaking world says the same name. They say "J" like a soft G, when folks from Cairo pronounce it like a hard G.

Jamal is Gamal in Cairo, for example.

So I have more trouble with native Arabic speakers mispronouncing it than I do with native English speakers. And I'm surely not going to try to correct them, since I'm not Arab or Egyptian.

Yes, but I also speak the language.

Anonymous wrote:Any Italian name with a ci in it should be pronounced ch - Dr. Fauci does it correctly but I went to HS with a guy whose last name is Fauci and he pronounced is faw-cee

You reported him to the Language Police, right?

Any Italian name with a ci in it should be pronounced ch - Dr. Fauci does it correctly but I went to HS with a guy whose last name is Fauci and he pronounced is faw-cee

Anonymous wrote:Our Germanic, ‘W’ initial name should be pronounced with a ‘v’ sound. That’s just silly in an English speaking country.

Another Germanic last name here. It contains a "ch," which when I pronounce it correctly (guttural in the throat sound) simply results in people saying "What? What did you say?" Think Wachs or Schumacher. Why do you think so many people changed these names to Fox or Shoemaker?

Therefore, although I in fact know how to pronounce my last name, and do not need a lesson from you or speech therapy, it is 10,000 times easier to go through life pronouncing my last name in a manner in which 99% of the American population is at least capable of basic comprehension of my utterance.

DH’s entire name is distinctly French, but if he pronounces his first name correctly, people repeat it back in the Americanized pronunciation. He goes no further with the French version as he says the level of respect (disrespect) has been determined. He does not speak French, but I do and also have a French first and middle name (which have clear American pronunciations), so it’s been an interesting experience, especially when I was working in France and Switzerland and people tried to speak to him. We have chosen a girl and boy name that fit the same model - think Jacques/Jack.

My mother and father pronounce our shared surname differently. It's an Italian name (his parents came over from Italy) wtih a bunch of As that his family pronounces with a short, flat a (as in can) but most people pronounce it like con. I typically pronounce it how my mother pronounces it unless talking to my father's side of the familly, but it doesn't bother me either way. It's fluid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our Germanic, ‘W’ initial name should be pronounced with a ‘v’ sound. That’s just silly in an English speaking country.

Is it silly when people pronounce Jorge as hor-hey instead of more like George? In English J isn’t pronounced like an H.

I’ve known two Jorges. They were both happy to respond to being called George as well. They treated it like a fond nickname,

Anonymous wrote:Our Germanic, ‘W’ initial name should be pronounced with a ‘v’ sound. That’s just silly in an English speaking country.

Is it silly when people pronounce Jorge as hor-hey instead of more like George? In English J isn’t pronounced like an H.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a name that I do NOT pronounce correctly, according to your definition, but that I pronounce the way that I and my family do. I think I would feel bent out of shape if you told me I don't know how I should say my own name.

OP here: Pronounce it any way you want. I don’t care. Pronunciation of names mutates over time and by place. If you only heard for example Chojnacki pronounced the “wrong” way, and you call the next person meet with that name by that pronunciation may (not) be very offended. I also know some older relatives get upset or disappointed that their children, siblings, daughters-in-law, etc. don’t continue to use the family’s pronunciation. One of my ancestors changed the spelling of our surname back to the proper foreign spelling because she deemed the anglicized version offensive. Her native language was illegal to use in her native land by the a country that over ran it.

BTW I have cousins who spell our shared surname differently, and I use that spelling for them. I have other relatives who pronounce our common surname differently and I call them by that pronunciation. I have relatives who alternate the spelling and the pronunciation depending on context — when they are around people who don’t have our ethnic background, they use the anglicized version. I don’t really care that they spell or pronounce it differently. I just find it fascinating how these things morph and how some people get upset (or don’t) about names.

Our Germanic, ‘W’ initial name should be pronounced with a ‘v’ sound. That’s just silly in an English speaking country.

Anonymous wrote:I have a name that I do NOT pronounce correctly, according to your definition, but that I pronounce the way that I and my family do. I think I would feel bent out of shape if you told me I don't know how I should say my own name.

OP here: Pronounce it any way you want. I don’t care. Pronunciation of names mutates over time and by place. If you only heard for example Chojnacki pronounced the “wrong” way, and you call the next person meet with that name by that pronunciation may (not) be very offended. I also know some older relatives get upset or disappointed that their children, siblings, daughters-in-law, etc. don’t continue to use the family’s pronunciation. One of my ancestors changed the spelling of our surname back to the proper foreign spelling because she deemed the anglicized version offensive. Her native language was illegal to use in her native land by the a country that over ran it.

I have a name that I do NOT pronounce correctly, according to your definition, but that I pronounce the way that I and my family do. I think I would feel bent out of shape if you told me I don't know how I should say my own name.

I should also give an example:

Chojnacki should be pronounced hoy-NOTS-key but I know a family that now pronounces it cho-JHA-knack-ee. If you know them, you know how they pronounce the name, but I see some of them get their noses bent out of shape when near strangers see the name and pronounce it properly.

I also worked with someone about 10 years ago named Jorge who pronounced his name George not hoar-hay.

OK we pronounce our surnames — sometimes even our forenames — the way we want to pronounce them. Sometimes the spelling is altered to make it easier for native English speakers (here in the JS).But some of us have lost any knowledge of how to pronounce those names properly. I think of this every time I see a thread about something like this: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/959483.page

I see this a lot by the second or third generation of American-born people from my ethnic background. Sometimes the people will know the proper pronunciation but choose not to use it. Some know it should be pronounced differently but don’t really remember or know anymore.

Can you properly pronounce your surname?