Anonymous wrote:Both people want to get married, but he hasn’t proposed. I’m a woman and I’m asking how did things turn out if you waited seemingly a long time before getting married, for whatever reason. If there was an ultimatum, were you kind of glad? Did it help you finally decide?

This is 2021, not 1950. What conversation has been had between the couple? Have they already agreed they want to get married, but she's expecting a formal engagement where he "surprises" her? If so, that can take time to plan. Otherwise, has she considered proposing? Personally, I was the one more on the fence than now-DH, so he was following my lead.

But I don't get the "Both people want to get married" in the same thought train as "Did it help you finally decide?".

DH and I lived together for 4 years before marriage and have been married 10 years. Solid relationship, especially now. I don't regret living together at all, but I am sad he didn't really propose. I wanted to get married and he was on board, but he is the kind of guy you have to tell "I want you to propose." I was trying to be cool and low maintenance, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lived together 7 years, then married, now together 24 yrs. No ultimatum on either side.

Very similar here except married for 19 years now.

I know a beautiful couple with a similar story.

I do know someone this happened for. They dated for a really long time, moved in together with expectation of an engagement. The proposal didn’t happen for another year but it did happen...

Weird of course we lived together 1st.

Lived together for three years before getting married, now married for 20 (!) years.

You seem to have a bit of an old-fashioned approach to this, if you don't mind me saying.

Loved together from college graduation until mid 20s, married 17 years now

OP this is very personal.

Everyone handles differently. We lived together for 9 months before he proposed. Married 35 years. My mother was mortified I did this. Did not want me to wear a white dress at the wedding, LOL.

My DD one lived with her now DH for 2 years. He proposed she was thrilled. If he had not she would have left after another six months. They were in their late 20's.

Other DD lives with BF going on 2 years. We are super close so I recently asked her. She is in her mid 30's, she's the one holding back. She's not sure she wants to be married. She's happy the way it is and doesn't want kids so...

Friend daughter dated guy for 3 years. Age 26 -29. He said monthly he would move into her place. Finally moves in within less than a month, he broke it off. He was not ready. He was also a manipulator.

My sister lived with her husband for 10 years, ages 31- 41. They are now in their forties, one child, married and no the child did not make a difference to them about getting married.

Thank you! They are both happy, and I bet they will follow their own timeline.

Lived together for 3 years before marriage, now married 15 years. We were young, though (25 and 28).

Anonymous wrote:Lived together 7 years, then married, now together 24 yrs. No ultimatum on either side.

Very similar here except married for 19 years now.

Lived together 7 years, then married, now together 24 yrs. No ultimatum on either side.

Both people want to get married, but he hasn’t proposed. I’m a woman and I’m asking how did things turn out if you waited seemingly a long time before getting married, for whatever reason. If there was an ultimatum, were you kind of glad? Did it help you finally decide?

What is the problem? Does the guy not want to get married?

Plenty of people have lived together and subsequently gotten married, myself included, if that's what you're asking.

I know someone who is 30 and has been living with her boyfriend over a year. They had dated at least a year before this. She wants to get married to him and their families are all for it and they’re in love. Anyone been there and had the happily ever after?