Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Imagine the boy had said "Women have babies." and then the nanny said "Well, some women have babies and some women do not." Something tells me you would not have concerns about this being too confusing, and it's the exact same concept. The way preschoolers learn to think beyond black and white is through experience of things that are not black and white.

And the way to handle a child asking in public whether certain people have vaginas is to say "That's a private part. We don't talk about private parts in public."

She didn’t go into any details, just left the door open for future discussions at an age- and circumstance-appropriate moment. Totally fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three yr old is very into who has a penis and who has a vagina. Today I overheard him tell his very “woke” nanny that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Nanny responded, “Well, most boys have penises and most girls have vaginas but not all”.

Is that the right way to handle it?!

I can’t believe we’re really doing this...

What? Acknowledging the existence of transgender people in an age appropriate way?

Yes, your nanny's response was correct.

+1

Anonymous wrote:My three yr old is very into who has a penis and who has a vagina. Today I overheard him tell his very “woke” nanny that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Nanny responded, “Well, most boys have penises and most girls have vaginas but not all”.

Is that the right way to handle it?!

I can’t believe we’re really doing this...

That's up to you as a parent to decide. If you don't like the way the nanny handled it, you need to tell her how you would like it handled in the future.

I am a Gay mom with a very gender neutral daughter and she has what may be a transgender friend. He is biologically a boy and calls himself a boy but likes girls clothing and and more feminine activities. Having said that, unless your 3yo son has a specific transgender person in his life I think he is too young to understand this concept. I would have left it as he understood it.

Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Eh, they do that anyway. Luckily my child's speech wasn't terribly coherent at that age, so when he went around asking random folks "do you have a BULBOUS?" nobody knew he was asking about a vulva.

ultimately it is up to you to decide how to explain these things to your children. if you are comfortable with it, then it's right. there are no right or wrong as long as you teach your child to always have empathy and kindness.

This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Your nanny's answer is great

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three yr old is very into who has a penis and who has a vagina. Today I overheard him tell his very “woke” nanny that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Nanny responded, “Well, most boys have penises and most girls have vaginas but not all”.

Is that the right way to handle it?!

I can’t believe we’re really doing this...

What? Acknowledging the existence of transgender people in an age appropriate way?

Yes, your nanny's response was correct.

+1

This is seriously an issue for you?

Yes that was definitely the right way to handle it op.

You don't seem to think very highly of your nanny...

Anonymous wrote:My three yr old is very into who has a penis and who has a vagina. Today I overheard him tell his very “woke” nanny that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Nanny responded, “Well, most boys have penises and most girls have vaginas but not all”.

Is that the right way to handle it?!

I can’t believe we’re really doing this...

What? Acknowledging the existence of transgender people in an age appropriate way?

Yes, your nanny's response was correct.

My three yr old is very into who has a penis and who has a vagina. Today I overheard him tell his very “woke” nanny that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Nanny responded, “Well, most boys have penises and most girls have vaginas but not all”.

Is that the right way to handle it?!

I can’t believe we’re really doing this...