Anonymous wrote:Please don’t criticize me for choosing to be a practicing catholic and raising my kids in the faith.

But, if you are a lapsed catholic, is there anything your parents did or did not do that contributed to you wanting to leave the church? I don’t care about any of the issues with the church. I’m well aware of the issues. But, when it came to family devotions, practices, schooling, etc...do you think your parents did or didn’t do anything that factored into your teen/adult thoughts and choices?

We were cultural Catholics. There was no way our family would be any other religion, but neither Mom nor Dad were very into Catholicism. Mom didn't go to church at all - and Dad took us on Sundays but didn't observe holy days -- too much trouble.

We 3 kids all eventually fell away - to fundamentalism, atheism and apatheism (nothing).

Don't be surprised, OP, if your kids go their own way at some point. Kids are like that, no matter how they are raised.

I’m a lapsed Catholic. I married someone who wasn’t Catholic, so going to church isn’t something we do as a family like we did as kids.

To be honest, even my parents stopped going to church.

No, it was the church itself and the priests. Mostly the priests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were entirely loving and accepting of my gay sibling (as was I) and it really made continuing in Catholicism seem absurd.

Yes!. This is pretty much what ended my practicing. My brother is gay. I had.a hard time wrapping my mind around a religion that promotes this "love thy neighbor" idea but also believes gay people are going to hell. The more I thought about it, the more the whole religion's concept unravelled for me. What's funny is I think back now and some of the meanest and most judgemental people I've ever met were at Church.

I know what you mean, but that actually isn't what the Church teaches.

I was a practicing Catholic even after I came out as a Lesbian until I was actually in a relationship that I knew would lead to marriage...so...I think my parents certainly created a relationship for me with the church that was good.

I'm grateful they brought me to a church that was as gay positive as it could have been so I didn't grow up self-hating. I hope you'll consider this.

For me, with my kids, we pray before meals, they are required to attend religious education classes and we talk about God and Jesus and what we believe. I really don't care if they end up Presbyterian (which we as a family are) or a different denomination, but I feel like my obligation is to practice my faith, help them nurture their faith, and show them what being part of a religious community means.

If you are worrying if your children will carry your faith I offer this. My devout mother taught me young that religion and ones relationship to the church is between that person and god, no one else. It was a valuable lesson. -

You can't control your kids this way. Try to love and accept them no matter their choices in life.

It wasn't my parents, it was the judgy, sanctimonious, controlling extended family members combined with the sex abuse coverup and hypocrisy.

Yes, they sent me to Catholic school where I could see and experience the hypocrisy, corruption, and abuse firsthand.

The bullying and corruption, including the creepy, touchy-feely parish priest who turned out to be embezzling $$$ from the church and school with the help of his secretary lover, really put me off Catholics, the Church, religious people who remain determinedly blind to the many, many flaws of the Church, and religion in general.

One of my classmates wrote a novel based on the horrifying freakshow that was our school: https://www.amazon.com/Brutal-Youth-Novel-Anthony-Breznican/dp/1250067898

Nothing. I was happily devout until I was 21. My mom was a good Catholic role model, but nothing she could have done or said would have prevented me from eventually leaving the Church.

Anonymous wrote:They were entirely loving and accepting of my gay sibling (as was I) and it really made continuing in Catholicism seem absurd.

Yes!. This is pretty much what ended my practicing. My brother is gay. I had.a hard time wrapping my mind around a religion that promotes this "love thy neighbor" idea but also believes gay people are going to hell. The more I thought about it, the more the whole religion's concept unravelled for me. What's funny is I think back now and some of the meanest and most judgemental people I've ever met were at Church.

They were entirely loving and accepting of my gay sibling (as was I) and it really made continuing in Catholicism seem absurd.

My parents were devout Catholics, and they raised us to believe that it was important to develop our own consciences and live according to them. They also sent me to Catholic schools that emphasized learning and questioning. And so when I became an adult and realized that being Catholic was no longer right for me, it was a result of my learning, questioning, and the values they raised me with. I wasn't afraid not to conform, because I had been taught to stand up for what I believed was right.

If anything, the reason I left was that my parents raised me with such strong morals and values that I simply could not stomach the things that the Church was doing -- including but not limited to the sex abuse scandal.

I still have many of the same values I was raised with, including many of the religious values -- a sense of obligation to others, especially the most vulnerable; the importance of humility, integrity, compassion; the need for repentance, grace, and forgiveness; the equal dignity of all people; the importance of being a good steward of the earth; etc. I just couldn't find a home in the Church.

No they had nothing to do with it. I was very glad my parents were not pushy and accepted my decision. I grew up doing CCD, was an altar server, etc. After confirmation I really fell out of beliefs surrounding catholicism. My dad was never super into it, did it because of my mom. When I was 17, my aunt got very ill and my mom got kind of mad at God. Made it a bit easier for me to tell her I didn't believe anymore. I think just having their support was important.

We are raising DS to learn about different religions so he can figure out what's best for him. I have my own religious beliefs now, some based off Catholicism.

Please don’t criticize me for choosing to be a practicing catholic and raising my kids in the faith.

But, if you are a lapsed catholic, is there anything your parents did or did not do that contributed to you wanting to leave the church? I don’t care about any of the issues with the church. I’m well aware of the issues. But, when it came to family devotions, practices, schooling, etc...do you think your parents did or didn’t do anything that factored into your teen/adult thoughts and choices?