Anonymous wrote:Anything child abuse/trauma/neglect/crime -type things pull at my heartstrings like nothing before. I've always found those situations pre-kids, don't get me wrong, but now as a parent it really gets to me..
I can't even watch Law &Order SVU anymore.

This. We used to tease my dad for refusing to watch anything where a kid dies. I totally get it now.

I'm less trusting of doctors.

I’m the opposite of a lot of posters, because I’m less anxious now than I used to be. My brain doesn’t have the leisure to create endless things to worry about because I’m much more in the moment. A nose needs wiping, a form needs signing, a crust needs to be cut off, and none of that will wait while I try to solve global warming and cure cancer just by fretting about them.

I’ve also become much more consciously aware of my own tendencies to be a fixer rather than a listener and an empathizer. And I try very hard to rein in my natural impulses to swoop in, and let my kids learn their own lessons, however painful, whenever it’s reasonable to do that.

I’ve also learned the importance of flexibility and adaptability. You can read all the books and study all the “methods,” but in the end you parent the kid you have in whatever way works for you and your family. Parenting is nothing if not humbling!

My hips got wider by about half an inch. And I found out I am completely paranoid about kids falling down staircases and kids pull hot pans/pots off stoves. So both have been fun surprises.

Anonymous wrote:Anything child abuse/trauma/neglect/crime -type things pull at my heartstrings like nothing before. I've always found those situations pre-kids, don't get me wrong, but now as a parent it really gets to me..
I can't even watch Law &Order SVU anymore.

+1 to that. For a long time there, I found myself crying weekly over the babies being pulled out of their mother's arms at the border.

I would also say generally, I am faster to cry. Ex: I cried at Biden's speech last night (it was sooo good!)

Beyond that though, I wouldn't say I've changed much. I'm still the same person, and I know that feeling totally different is common, but I don't.

I have also gotten better about chores because "catching up" is impossible. I always used to just go to bed after people came over, figured I'd deal with the kitchen in the morning. Now, I'm in the camp of "if my day doesn't start with a clean kitchen, it's downhill from there."

I think I was always looking for fulfillment and felt like something was missing. I haven't felt that way since kids. (I'm not saying that all childless people are unfulfilled though!). I never felt like dh and I were treated like a separate unit from our parents or that we were a family before kids. Holidays weren't special because they weren't our holidays, we were just silent participants in my mom's or my MIL's holidays without input. Everything has just changed now that we have kids.

Anonymous wrote:I let you know when my brain comes back online again.

This. Six years in and I’m still waiting ...

Also, the anxiety. SO much anxiety. I worry about my kids all.the.time and cannot turn it off.

And lowered expectations. Like so much lower than I could ever imagine. I’m just grateful every day I get a shower and hot cup of coffee to myself (which doesn’t always happen with the work and school at home situation we have going on during COVID). If my kids eat a single baby carrot, I call that a win. If I get a load of laundry washed and folded in a day, it’s all good. But I’ve also come to accept that I’ll never get to everything I hoped to get done in a day.

I know myself better and am much better at advocating for myself and taking time for myself. I've always tried at "self-care" but it wasn't until I became a parent that I really understood that taking care of myself was essential for being able to take care of someone else. And it's true on every level. I have to take care of my stress and anxiety so that I can be emotionally present and make smart choices for my child. But I also have to take care of my health so that I can physically keep up, and because I want to make sure I'm around as long as possible to see my kid grow up and to support her however I can.

I agree with OP that becoming a parent has shifted my feelings about material goods and made me realize what really matters. I still envy others sometimes, but I find that when I compare other people to my own family, I am happy with our choices and where we've wound up. I do sometimes wish we had more financial resources or family resources, but not at the expense of the stuff we think is most important -- time, love, togetherness, lower stress. So becoming a parent has made me feel more confident in my life choices because I can see how well they serve my family.

I have special needs children and I constantly worry.

I let you know when my brain comes back online again.

I used to love kids in general. I just thought they were awesome little people.

After I had children I love my own kids, but find other people’s children to be generally annoying and not cute. It’s like I have my daily fill of my own children and once the glass is full, there’s no room for others.

Anything child abuse/trauma/neglect/crime -type things pull at my heartstrings like nothing before. I've always found those situations pre-kids, don't get me wrong, but now as a parent it really gets to me..
I can't even watch Law &Order SVU anymore.

My stomach now looks like a melted candle.

Also...unconditional love.

I lost interest in politics

I used to be very envious of the super rich, lacked gratitude for what I had and didn’t enjoy each day for what it is. Becoming a parent seems to have put everything in perspective. Money, status and material things will never matter as long as my child isn’t healthy or safe. I am grateful for every day that he is happy and well. Curious to hear how else others have felt changed by parenthood.