Anonymous wrote:My barometer for this was asking myself could my husband handle it all? If not, the sitter won’t be able to either.

Ha!! I love this barometer but by those standards I will never be able to leave the room let alone the house.

My barometer for this was asking myself could my husband handle it all? If not, the sitter won’t be able to either.

Could you do something other than bedtime? I have a 2 and 4 year old, and all our dates since the first was born have been early dinners/happy hour. The babysitter plays with the kids for 2-3 hrs in the afternoon and gives them a snack or sometimes an easy dinner I've made beforehand (ie pbj). Then we come home and do bedtime.

Same age-gap and nanny could handle all three but not a regular babysitter. We hired babysitters in teams of two for datenights.

OP- I had twins when my oldest was 2. We had a nanny the first 2 year but after that we used college aged sitters. They were fine.

I would consider and experienced adult or 2 teens shortly after the youngest turns one.

We had a nanny from the get-go with kids that age. She was our babysitter.

We were able to transition to a capable teen when the youngest was 2.

My kids are fairly easy and very routine, but I will say- they're on their top behavior for the babysitter. They think it's such a special treat and they do everything she says.

Versus with grandparents, my kids think they're idiots (true story) and will ask for everything and the kitchen sink. "We always get ice cream on Thursday nights" and "our bedtime is 10pm" and "we only brush our teeth in the morning, not at night" on and on. My parents think it's cute that their grandparents all think they're stupid, but I don't like it at all. And they're quick to tell my parents they aren't doing it right.

I would think it's less about age and more about how smooth bedtime goes. If everyone has a bedtime routine, and a standard bedtime, and the baby is sleep trained (or just a naturally good sleeper) and can put himself to sleep after a fairly short bedtime routine, then you would be good to leave with an experienced sitter.

If the baby need to be rocked and rocked and rocked, and maybe fed to sleep, and that doesn't always work, and the two year old does five rounds of getting up needing water or a stuffy or a hug or whatever, and the 4 year old basically has to be bribed to bed, that's not going to work. But if you don't mess around about sleep training and bedtimes and routines, I would think you'd be fine by the time the baby is ready - so 4 or 6 months.

I mean, can you handle all three at the same time? If so, then a competent sitter (look for a full-time nanny looking for extra sitting jobs) can do so. If you struggle with it and still need your husband's help, then maybe wait until you feel like it's realistic for one person to do it.

I only have twins, by the way, so I have no idea what it's like to have three kids with your spread, that's why I wrote the above as I did. I wasn't being sarcastic.

Mine are 7, 5 and 2 and my sitter does not ever put them to bed. She can handle them for a few hours in the afternoon (even half a day), but night routine for us requires two people... if we really wanted to have someone at 8, we could try putting the 2 year old to be before the older kids, but we have been able to just leave at 8:30 when they were all already sleeping.

I used to babysit four little kids, including a baby, when I was 13 or 14. I got them all to bed
I'm sure the process was messy and non-ideal (I didn't give baths, and I definitely useed TV) but it didn't occur to me there was a choice so I just did it. I think you are fine with a sitter for occasional nights out.

We've always had a weekly babysitter. I have 0/2/4.5 right now. For the longest time, I put the kids to bed at 7pm and then we went out. My babysitter basically had the easiest job on earth. She could do homework or watch Netflix all night. I still put the younger 2 down, but the older is allowed to hang out with the sitter for a couple of hours and play games.

I easily put all 3 to bed right now by myself (nurse the baby for 30min and then it's time for the bigger 2 to be read to). So if you baby took a bottle, I'd assume babysitter could give the bottle while the others watch a cartoon?

Not really until the youngest is 2-3. What you do in this case is put the baby to bed before the sitter arrives and go out after then once your baby is a reliable sleeper to then the sitter just deals with the other 2.

I'll soon have a 0 / 2 / 4 year old and with the vaccine etc starting to fantasize about being able to have a date night or dinner with friends again. But 3 managing 3 little kids with different schedules is tough for their regular care giver. When will it be possible that an experienced/good babysitter or a grandparent that visits several times a year could manage putting all 3 to bed. Is it years?!

With my existing two I feel like someone could walk through the routine with me one night and get to the know kids and then do it on their own ok. Or take care of them most of the day without being overwhelmed. But a baby in the mix is a whole different ball game.