Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

Is this cultural? I read this response to my DH who is not American and he just looked at me like I was crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

OP here. That's insane to me. We're a family. We take care of each other, and that's how it's been done for eons. You may disagree but that is not how we will be doing it in this household. Our children have responsibilities just like we do. And to be honest, I don't want to be near kids who don't learn early on that we take care of each other. Appreciate your comments but that is not what I'm debating here. It's only the age that is in question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

NP. This seems unreasonable to me. We are one family and, yes, we help each other without being paid for it. I babysat my little sister and still have a very close, carrying relationship with her. My parents never paid me a dime for it. And I still have a great relationship with them.

I don't have the babysitting issue because my only children are twins, but they help. They bike to the store to get milk if we ran out. They help making meals, etc. If for some reason one were in a position to help the other, I would absolutely encourage it. This is what families do. Well, at least this is my understanding of a family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

+1 except no pay. You need to be responsible for your kids. The oldest can stay home alone but its not ok for a 4th and K to be home alone.

+2

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

+1 except no pay. You need to be responsible for your kids. The oldest can stay home alone but its not ok for a 4th and K to be home alone.

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

Thanks, all. That's tremendously helpful. I think that I've been overly conservative with this and we should be fine with a 7th grader. Just this year we started leaving her alone for 15-30 minute spurts and she basically stayed home doing her violin. With the K child, if she's in front of the TV she won't really move much so it should be an easy task for the 7th grader. I think that they'd both enjoy it.

I'd leave my 1st grader with a 10 year neighbor (who is super mature) for up to an hour. I haven't yet, but I would. Also because my 1st grader worships her and would do anything she asks.

I would not leave her with my 4 year old though. But we have a 15 year old neighbor and I would let her watch both kids. In fact, once all the adults are vaccinated she is high on my list for baby sitting help this summer!

Legally, in Maryland, kids can babysit from age 12 up and can be alone from age 8 up.

So, when my kids were 8 and 11, I technically was "leaving them both home alone" but when the older one turned 12, I could say she was babysitting her sister.

The recommendation in Virginia is 13 but I’d absolutely do it with a 11.5/12 year old 6th grader BUT you should first give the 6th grader some opportunities to stay home alone. That should probably have started in 3rd/4th grade for 14-20 minutes and then building up to an hour or two by now. If she’s never been home alone, I’d do that before giving her the responsibility of a 5 or 6 year old.

Lots of X factors here - maturity of oldest, which sounds good, but also how much supervision does the Kindergartner need? If K gets into trouble very easily and needs constant supervision, my answer is different than if K is chill and would happily play with magnatiles quietly for an hour. Also - length of time you need to be gone matters.

But even with a naughty K and a fairly long time (like 3-4 hours) I'd leave him with the 7th grader. 7th grade is pretty old. If K was reasonably well behaved, I'd probably have left him with a responsible 5th grader for 30mins-1hr.

I'd also probably leave a responsible 4th grader home alone for 30 mins to an hour, but not with the K.

I let my 5th grader babysit my first grader a lot. Around when covid started, I stopped just bringing my first grader places if I needed to run an errand. I just leave her home with her older sister all the time now. Before covid, I was leaving them alone for maybe 10-15 minutes at a time, but that was only when I needed to pick up their younger sibling home from daycare because I didn't want to have to take them with me.

Anonymous wrote:I think it just depends on the dynamic of the kids together. Do the two older ones fight? Will they be enthralled in a game and ignore/not pay attention to what the younger one is up to?

I would have the oldest take a babysitting class first. Good for her to have on resume to babysit neighbor kids but good for you too. In my area, the hospital or parks and rec dept has them and they are over a weekend. They are taught by a nurse and teach CPR, first aid, emergency stuff..really good stuff to know but also to help them understand that staying home alone and babysitting comes with a lot of responsibility.

The older one doesn't fight quite as much with the youngest so it could just be a case of having both of them sit in front of the TV. The class is a good idea. I'll see if I can find one in the area. I definitely wouldn't leave the middle child with anyone. It would only be the oldest. TY!

I think it just depends on the dynamic of the kids together. Do the two older ones fight? Will they be enthralled in a game and ignore/not pay attention to what the younger one is up to?

I would have the oldest take a babysitting class first. Good for her to have on resume to babysit neighbor kids but good for you too. In my area, the hospital or parks and rec dept has them and they are over a weekend. They are taught by a nurse and teach CPR, first aid, emergency stuff..really good stuff to know but also to help them understand that staying home alone and babysitting comes with a lot of responsibility.

We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.