Easy meals: rotisserie chicken plus a steamer bag of vegetables. Or I order subs and they're ready when I swing by. We eat dinner, they both take baths together (Always! Even when baby was a newborn she chilled in the bouncer while the older one bathed), play for 30 min and then we go read for 30 min (since the youngest was a 1 year old).

Before my youngest was a year old, I trained my older daughter (2 years older) to play for 20 min while I nursed the baby to sleep. This was a lot of work because she was clingy, but then she got her reading time with me after I nursed the baby.

Its the hardest time and those are hard ages. I only had 1 2-3 year old when dh was deployed so a little easier. I out the play kitchen in the eat in dining area. So kiddo played with it while i cooked. Gated off the rest of tbe house. Cooking was chopping a salad and making pasta/reheating something. I would eat with the kid and bathe/shower with her and make batch dinner after bedtime.

I am with you, OP. 5-7pm is the hardest time and I also have a 1yo and 3yo! We do a PBS kids show for 30 minutes while I prep something quick and easy (scrambled eggs, steamed veggies, chicken nuggets or premade frozen meatballs, mac and cheese, etc). This usually takes care of the 3yo but the 1yo may or may not be clamoring for me in the kitchen

My DH works long hours but does try to come up from 6-7 to help with bath etc. But on the days he doesn't, if the 1yo isn't covered in food, then no bath for sure!

I also very much agree with PP that me and my DH eat together later (and quieter) but i sit with the kids and nibble and this counts as family dinnertime to me!

Do things that make it easy for you, you're not incompetent. it's witching hour!

It does sound stressful. I would say:
1) Have nanny stay an hour later, and bathe the kids while you fix dinner (or vice versa, if she’s a good cook)

Or

2) Batch cook as PPs have said. That way you only have to heat up. Make all-encompassing meals where you don’t need sides, eg meat-and-veg lasagna, or soups/stews. Then, you can have a leisurely dinner and do baths when your DH gets off work

You’re not incompetent! That’s a tough time. My kids are older now and I still remember how hard it was.

If I were you I would try and cook things ahead of time and just reheat. If you cook on the weekends or after the kids go to bed to heat up for the next day, you’ll be happier. Write down your meal plan for the week and then see where you can do food prep to reduce the time in the kitchen.

Also, you could just feed them easy stuff and then you and dh eat later when he gets home. As long as you’re sitting with them and nibbling on fruit or whatever it counts as family dinner. They won’t remember

Go easy on yourself! It’s a tough time right now

You’re not incompetent, OP. My kids are older now, but I definitely remember those days well-childless coworkers thinking I had it so great skipping out earlier than them, meanwhile I was off to the most difficult part of my day.

I did a fair amount of meal prepping on the weekends-a batch of boiled eggs, chopped vegetables, etc. Some nights the kids would get a quick easy dinner, then I would make something else for DH and me, and the kids would get the leftovers the next day. You might also have your nanny get their dinner on the table before she goes so they are starting to eat when you get home (this is what my friend with a nanny did-we used daycare so didn’t have that option.) Bath time was always part of our bedtime routine so I didn’t skip that, but I always bathed them together and then had the older child play quietly while I put the baby down.

The kids are always going to be clingy and cranky at that time of day. It’s the witching hour and it lasts well beyond the baby years. Now that the kids are older I use my noise canceling headphones and just let them do what they do.

Can your DH not stop work and log back on later? Do you not allow screen time? I have to do this on occasion w a 1 and 3 year old and a husband that travels and it absolutely sucks. I give them 20-30 min of scree time while I throw something together or I prep something simple sneaking away time during the day since I wfh right now. Or, freezer meals. The kids are simple in terms of dinner if it’s just us...

I put the 1 year old to bed first but she is able to sleep without me- the three year old is another story! But that is key. I put her down and say goodnight abs that is it. But yes it feels like a rodeo wrangling everyone into bath, pajamas abs brushing teeth and it’s exhausting.

Nanny can do the baths in the afternoon or in the mornings. It actually might be a fun activity if you do this, instead of a chore. Do easy things for dinner. Cheese, crackers and fruit are fine.

Have nanny do baths before she leaves. She’s not trying to cook dinner while caring for the kids. Give the kids a quick easy dinner one night, then start prepping dinner for you and Dh while they eat. You can finish food prep after they’re in bed. You and Dh eat that dinner the night it’s prepared; the kids eat that same dinner early the next evening, as quickly reheated leftovers, while you prepare a new dinner. The kids eat the same meals you eat, just a day behind you so that you’re not constrained by having to finish cooking by the time they need to eat.

PBS Kids for 30 min is how get dinner made solo. Your older kid will sit on the couch with a snack and depending how young the one year old is you can put him in a pack and play next to the couch so he can watch but not move around without being watched.

OP will your 1 year old tolerate being in a toddler carrier? Or hanging out on one of those "learning towers"?

What about a 30 min TV show at 5 so you can do dinner prep?

Yes definitely don't cook every night or do simple meals. And baths only every 2-3 days. Is your DH at home - I would ask him to stop work at least 6-7 to have time with the kids and help. Great benefit of the pandemic us having DH home with 2 and 4 year old. I can't go back to him just barely getting home at 6:30 like we used to! And I don't even want to think about travel starting again!

My kids ate a lot of eggs on those kinds of days.

Lower your expectations, OP. Steam a veggie and throw some chicken tenders in the oven.

Dinner needs to be made ahead of time or it’s something very quick. Cook on the weekend and defrost or reheat during the week.
Baths do not need to be every night. Shoot, they are barely even going anywhere nowadays. In other words, prioritize.

I’m on my own with a 3 year-old and 1 year-old during what I think is the hardest time of day - 5:00-7:00 pm. Our nanny goes home and then I have two hours to bathe the kids, make dinner, get everyone fed, and put the baby to sleep while DH finishes work. It sounds easy, but everyone is cranky at this point and clinging to me. It ends up taking forever to cook because I’m constantly tending to something else. And it’s so stressful! Help! What do you do to make nights easier with young kids when you’re on your own 5 nights a week? I can’t justify paying the nanny to stay late every night and also don’t think it’s fair to her. I feel like a completely incompetent parent.