Anonymous wrote:Just follow her lead. You are clearly a very empathetic person and she is lucky to have someone who understands that this can be a big deal.

That said, people cope in lots of different ways. I would probably reply to her initial communication that she lost this most recent pregnancy with your condolences but after that don’t bring it up other than to say that if she needs anything like time off you will do your best to make it work for her.

I am a nanny myself and have had several big emotional challenges in the last year including a relative dying of cancer. The last thing I want to do when I’m at work is talk about things that make me upset. Nannying is a really demanding job emotionally and I have to be in the right headspace to be present for the kids. Let her know that you empathize and that you are available and open to working with her if she needs anything right now, but please don’t keep bringing it up. If she wants to talk about and acknowledge it she will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For background - I had fertility issues and suffered a devastating miscarriage prior to having children. Because of some circumstances of that situation (2nd trimester, spontaneous twin girls after failed ivf, and some personal isssues) I think I was fairly far on the spectrum of how impacted by the mmc I was and I sought therapy and struggled to even see a pregnant woman that looked like about where I’d be in that pregnancy until I successfully got pregnant a year later. Just sharing that bc my barometer of how devastated someone else may be may be off.

This fall our nanny suffered an early miscarriage in what would have been her 1st child. About 2 months later I got pregnant and about a month after that she was again as well. Unfortunately she just learned the sac is empty at 8 weeks. Other than giving her time off as needed and not mentioning my own pregnancy, is there anything I can do to make this easier for her? I would have really struggled having to interact with a woman every day at about the same stage of pregnancy as me.

Both times she got pregnant super quick and from what I’ve read there’s not yet any reason to think her next pregnancy won’t be successful so hopefully she will be pregnant again soon. I feel so awful for her, she seemed to feel very optimistic this time despite the previous loss due to experiencing a lot of symptoms.

Has your nanny been checked for autoimmune diseases? Those can cause miscarriages.

Anonymous wrote:For background - I had fertility issues and suffered a devastating miscarriage prior to having children. Because of some circumstances of that situation (2nd trimester, spontaneous twin girls after failed ivf, and some personal isssues) I think I was fairly far on the spectrum of how impacted by the mmc I was and I sought therapy and struggled to even see a pregnant woman that looked like about where I’d be in that pregnancy until I successfully got pregnant a year later. Just sharing that bc my barometer of how devastated someone else may be may be off.

This fall our nanny suffered an early miscarriage in what would have been her 1st child. About 2 months later I got pregnant and about a month after that she was again as well. Unfortunately she just learned the sac is empty at 8 weeks. Other than giving her time off as needed and not mentioning my own pregnancy, is there anything I can do to make this easier for her? I would have really struggled having to interact with a woman every day at about the same stage of pregnancy as me.

Both times she got pregnant super quick and from what I’ve read there’s not yet any reason to think her next pregnancy won’t be successful so hopefully she will be pregnant again soon. I feel so awful for her, she seemed to feel very optimistic this time despite the previous loss due to experiencing a lot of symptoms.