I am so happy I was laid off last March. And I am a divorced mom! So yeah I get it.

I'm so brain-dead, wiped, blotto. It's not even physical exhaustion (as my kids are 6 & 8), just the constant "executive function" of running virtual school and dual-earner work in one house for a year. I realize this is the most absurdly ridiculously privileged thing to say given our health and financial stability but I just want one month where I am not doing 10 things at once (poorly, laughably poorly). Has anyone been able to finagle some sort of limited leave of absence*? One month where I just made sandwiches, de-cluttered and turned on & off Zoom for the kids sounds like some sort of weird heaven.

*And worst thing is I have one of those wonky "save the world" DC jobs where I also feel guilty for not *wanting* to be 100% all the time!

I am painfully aware of the challenges of overseeing virtual school for my own 3 elementary school children, while working a demanding full time job. Hats off to you for persevering through it all and I can understand fully the sentiment of wanting to unplug and have a break. I would also offer the perspective that my spouse lost their job in the late spring. 100's of applications later, my highly educated spouse cannot even find work as a hourly worker in a store. We are nickel and diming our groceries, the kids are wearing clothes that they outgrew a season ago and we feel utterly helpless and hopeless for any relief on the horizon. Our kids are stressed and our marriage is feeling the strain of our financial uncertainty and the urgency of finding work.

Can't you take 2 weeks off paid leave for covid-19?

Anonymous wrote:I'm so brain-dead, wiped, blotto. It's not even physical exhaustion (as my kids are 6 & 8), just the constant "executive function" of running virtual school and dual-earner work in one house for a year. I realize this is the most absurdly ridiculously privileged thing to say given our health and financial stability but I just want one month where I am not doing 10 things at once (poorly, laughably poorly). Has anyone been able to finagle some sort of limited leave of absence*? One month where I just made sandwiches, de-cluttered and turned on & off Zoom for the kids sounds like some sort of weird heaven.

*And worst thing is I have one of those wonky "save the world" DC jobs where I also feel guilty for not *wanting* to be 100% all the time!

I’m so tired of us moms who are working, running the house and supervising schooling feeling the need to apologize for the fact that we are employed and can WFH. I’m not upset with you OP but there is no need to apologize. Yes, people have it worse but that doesn’t mean your situation is better - it’s different - and unsustainable! I am in a similar situation and the physical and mental toll is real. I’m exhausted all the time and feel guilty because I can’t do anything at 💯- it’s all falling apart. I also have a husband who helps but our split is not 50/50 more like 70/30. Yes, he could do more. As for leave is that the answer? I have a crazy amount of vacation I haven’t been able to use. I take a vacation day to recharge or whatever and am constantly bombarded by texts and calls from coworkers who are sorry to bother me but just need one thing. The boundaries are gone.

OP here. A lot of this is just guilt. I don’t have it that bad - DH is a little checked out but far far from those a$$holes in that NYT article. My work is flexible & I like it. But, as one of my WAH mom friends put it, it’s not like I have an “off-on switch” for my brain for real, thoughtful, productive work. I can’t will myself “on.” And I‘m fried—like short circuited mentally back in Sept. Just been limping along for months.

Smart employers will recognize that this is the path to retaining good employees who are in really trying circumstances. But, it requires the ability to think long-term.

Look at what leave you have under your current terms, make a plan to take it, get approval of the plan, and stick to that plan. I did not take all my leave in 2020, but I will not be making that mistake in 2021.

If you don't have any leave, then see what you can negotiate and consider unpaid leave. Lots of employers will push back hard, but when push comes to shove, what are they going to do? Fire you? Well, then, at least you'll get a break

This is why we continued to employ our full time nanny even though DH and I are working from home.

But yeah, someone at my firm needed to take 3 or 4 weeks off for some reason that was vaguely Covid related (she didn't have it) and the firm just said okay. She's not even a partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Super angry about how society has just abandoned working moms. Homeschooling while working a demanding job is insane.

You don't have to homeschool. Why did you choose it?

She’s talking about supervising DL, which is honestly worse than actual homeschooling for some families.

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t there some sort of covid leave for this?

I don’t even think that’s the issue though— I think a lot of the people on this thread have leave or could afford to take unpaid leave. The issue is actually getting work on board.

Honestly, I went part-time in the fall and have mixed feelings. It was a relief at first but now it still feels like a slog. I feel like I’m always moving between childcare and work and what I really need is a break from both. Plus we are dealing with the lost income. At the time we made the decision it felt like the best option, and I guess still is, but I never expected it to be this long and now I worry it’s going to be hard to go back to full time without just changing jobs.

There are no good choices for working parents.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Super angry about how society has just abandoned working moms. Homeschooling while working a demanding job is insane.

You don't have to homeschool. Why did you choose it?

Isn’t there some sort of covid leave for this?

Yes. Super angry about how society has just abandoned working moms. Homeschooling while working a demanding job is insane.

Can you take vacation leave?

I also have one of those jobs and this would honestly be possible at my org. It would be challenging in my role to do a whole month together but two two-week breaks over the next few months might be possible. One week off a month for the next four months would be a breeze, and I’d certainly approve it for the people I manage. Have you asked? Maybe my org is exceptionally understanding but I think you should give it a shot.

I'm so brain-dead, wiped, blotto. It's not even physical exhaustion (as my kids are 6 & 8), just the constant "executive function" of running virtual school and dual-earner work in one house for a year. I realize this is the most absurdly ridiculously privileged thing to say given our health and financial stability but I just want one month where I am not doing 10 things at once (poorly, laughably poorly). Has anyone been able to finagle some sort of limited leave of absence*? One month where I just made sandwiches, de-cluttered and turned on & off Zoom for the kids sounds like some sort of weird heaven.

*And worst thing is I have one of those wonky "save the world" DC jobs where I also feel guilty for not *wanting* to be 100% all the time!