Anonymous wrote:My parents didn't. 3 kids, but had high HHI and diverse assets and investments. They weren't sure what we would choose for college, grad school, etc. and wanted to have more flexibility. It worked out because I got a full ride and did a (funded) PhD, so they gave me what they had planned on spending as a wedding gift. One sibling went state school, one sibling went private then private law. They just paid the bills as they came.
OP, you need to figure out where the money is and where it flows within your household. Basic financial literacy is a life skill and you can learn it even if you feel like you don't know much right now. Read a couple of books or go read financial independence or personal finance forums and google the words you don't understand. Insist that DH is regularly paying into a retirement account with your name on it, that you can see/access without him. Make sure you have enough coverage and are up to date on payments for all insurance (house, car, life, disability). Find out what percent of your HHI is going to different expenses like housing, savings, food, childcare, transportation, and that if there are any debts with high interests rates your household prioritizes paying them off ASAP. Like PP (14:10) said, you should have all the account numbers and passwords in case anything ever happened to your DH, but really get your own retirement in order with your name on it.
OP here. I promise I'm not completely clueless. Our cars and student loans are paid off, we alternate paying the mortgage every other month, I pay about half of the utilities, work full time, carry the family health insurance, and have my own retirement account, life, and disability insurance. I just don't understand stocks/investments well, and my salary is 2/3 what he earns, so he contributes substantially more to our general savings.