Anonymous wrote:My husband has a hyphenated name, which is lovely and common in the European country that he’s from, and our kids have it. I haven’t adopted it bc omg what an administrative pain. I feel sort of bad for my kids!

I should mention the reason it’s a pain: filling out any sort of online form. Checking in for a flight. Spelling it by phone. Ugh.

My husband has a hyphenated name, which is lovely and common in the European country that he’s from, and our kids have it. I haven’t adopted it bc omg what an administrative pain. I feel sort of bad for my kids!

It is just a different naming convention. I mean, if you were an expat in Spain, everyone would ask you for your second last name, get confused when you don’t have one, then they assign you one from your middle name. Or you give them your mother’s maiden name, so sometimes your last name is Jones but sometimes it shows up as Smith and sometimes Meghan. Also people don’t really have middle names so now your middle name is your first name, Martha. Bienvenjdo a España, señorita Martha Jones Meghan!

So confusing! How do people get by with only one last name? The hyphen would make it so much easier.

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about hyphenated last names for kids? (I know “you-do-you” blah blah but want to know what others think). When you see a child with a name like Mary Smith-Jones, daughter of Mom Smith and Dad Jones, what assumptions do you make?

That they are educated liberals but that it must suck for them to write the extra letters on a million forms for their kids. Frankly, as someone with feminist tendencies, I romanticized it at one point pre-marriage, thinking it was so egalitarian. Then I married an egalitarian but traditional guy and took his last name. I now think hyphenated names are simply an ideal but impractical.

Just use your maiden name as the middle name. It’s not getting passed down forever anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always seemed a bit selfish to me. Like the parents are thinking about being equally represented more than what a pain having a hyphenated name will be for the child. It also doesn’t work through generations.

Yes

Yup, agree with this. Honestly if you want equal representation just make up a new name.

23:32 again and I agree. I was a hyphenated kid, surrounded by other so it didn't matter. It was a total pain in the ass as an adult and I legally dropped one in my late 20s. Which was a pain itself but very much worth it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always seemed a bit selfish to me. Like the parents are thinking about being equally represented more than what a pain having a hyphenated name will be for the child. It also doesn’t work through generations.

Yes

Yup, agree with this. Honestly if you want equal representation just make up a new name.

Anonymous wrote:It’s always seemed a bit selfish to me. Like the parents are thinking about being equally represented more than what a pain having a hyphenated name will be for the child. It also doesn’t work through generations.

Yes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That the parents couldn't decide. And they need everything 50/50

Weird assumption.

In our case, one of the parents had the same hyphenated last name so we just passed it down. Odd that people would judge that?

The dad?

It’s always seemed a bit selfish to me. Like the parents are thinking about being equally represented more than what a pain having a hyphenated name will be for the child. It also doesn’t work through generations.

Anonymous wrote:That the parents couldn't decide. And they need everything 50/50

Weird assumption.

In our case, one of the parents had the same hyphenated last name so we just passed it down. Odd that people would judge that?

That the mother is proud of her surname and is not the property of her husband, so she wants to give the child her name as well.

It's pretty uncommon. It was very common when I was growing up in NYC in the 80s and 90s.

That the parents couldn't decide. And they need everything 50/50

What do you think about hyphenated last names for kids? (I know “you-do-you” blah blah but want to know what others think). When you see a child with a name like Mary Smith-Jones, daughter of Mom Smith and Dad Jones, what assumptions do you make?