My mom's friend tried it in the 70s because her H was pushing for it, fell in love with one AP and left her H for him. She married the AP and that marriage lasted for over 10+ years but they eventually divorced. I can't imagine not developing feeling for an AP, especially if he's a better fit. There's also always the possibility of accidental pregnancy or STDs (condoms reduce, but not prevent herpes, HPV from oral sex etc.) which would be a nightmare.

What’s a successful ok affair in this set up? You have a great time with someone new and maybe fall a little in love, but not so good a time or enough love that you break up your actual family?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had several (more than 5) friends go down this road. Not a single one of their marriages made it more than 3 years after opening up. I now call it the millennial trial separation.

Yep. I watched a special on polygamy in Silicon Valley or something like that and how it was all a crock of sh@t. Awful for everyone involved.

I mean polyamory. Whatever. They love labels and designations for everything

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had several (more than 5) friends go down this road. Not a single one of their marriages made it more than 3 years after opening up. I now call it the millennial trial separation.

Yep. I watched a special on polygamy in Silicon Valley or something like that and how it was all a crock of sh@t. Awful for everyone involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you get the best of both worlds. Not for me, good for them.

Right? It's obvious, you get the amazing experiences of new partners with the stability of marriage. Maybe this is more of a male POV. I would do this in a heartbeat if my wife were game.

As a woman it's the best of both worlds for me too. We have the financial stability, along with comfort. We are able to explore what else is out there as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you get the best of both worlds. Not for me, good for them.

Right? It's obvious, you get the amazing experiences of new partners with the stability of marriage. Maybe this is more of a male POV. I would do this in a heartbeat if my wife were game.

Right pal. She would find unlimited partners in a heartbeat while you exert a lot of energy to find one decent partner.

I’ve had several (more than 5) friends go down this road. Not a single one of their marriages made it more than 3 years after opening up. I now call it the millennial trial separation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you get the best of both worlds. Not for me, good for them.

Right? It's obvious, you get the amazing experiences of new partners with the stability of marriage. Maybe this is more of a male POV. I would do this in a heartbeat if my wife were game.

The guy I’m dating wants to do this. I’m not sure I can..

Woman here. I think I'd like it. Sound like a sweet deal to me. You get your intact family, stability, and new, fun, unattached partners.

Just FYI, honest non-monogamy will shine a big spotlight on any weakness in your relationship and any personal insecurities. So be ready to confront those. I have seen a lot of drama from people who open their marriage and then can't deal with the thought of the other guy/girl being more attractive to their spouse, better in bed, bigger D, etc. If you have bad habits of white lies or hiding past secrets, that shit always seems to blow up.

If you don't have rock solid communication and a willingness to open yourself up to feeling vulnerable, don't do it. It's certainly not worth it to some people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you get the best of both worlds. Not for me, good for them.

Right? It's obvious, you get the amazing experiences of new partners with the stability of marriage. Maybe this is more of a male POV. I would do this in a heartbeat if my wife were game.

Nah, I'm a woman in an ethically non-monogamous relationship. It's appealing to some women too. DH and I have a beautiful kid, stable and happy home, retirement dreams and fun times with other partners when we want them. *shrug* it's not for everyone, but it works great for us.

If my kid and his future partner(s) makes a similar decision to set his domestic life up this way as an adult, more power to him. Clearly, I have no moral issue with honest non-monogamy freely entered into by consenting adults.

Anonymous wrote:Because you get the best of both worlds. Not for me, good for them.

Right? It's obvious, you get the amazing experiences of new partners with the stability of marriage. Maybe this is more of a male POV. I would do this in a heartbeat if my wife were game.

Anonymous wrote:Because you get the best of both worlds. Not for me, good for them.

Not for me, either, but there is no deception. Some of these "sexless marriage" posters and the "would you ignore bruised faces and bodies of the cheated upon wife and kids?! because the abuse is THE SAME!" people might be better off with an arrangement of this sort.

Because you get the best of both worlds. Not for me, good for them.

I see so many of these married couples on a date app publicly displaying their pictures with no shame. Whats the point of this if you're married? To marry a third person or live with them and have kids with them or just be swing ers until you're tired of it? Did you marry to have kids and would you be fine with your kids being in similar poly relationships?