Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your child is ruminating on things that she recalls happening when she was 3?! And you’re characterizing what happened as bullying and fixating on it?
This doesn’t make sense.
Yes I’d say she is anxious and could use a therapist. Stat.
Your child IS an anxious child.
A 3 year-old is NOT a bully.
Your child is not doing as well as any other child during a pandemic. Your child is struggling and needs help.
Anonymous wrote:I think I would have her make a little book about it with you, to put it to rest. Let her draw pictures of what happened, and you write the words. Include some words about how this kind of thing happens in groups sometimes, and include a page of her drawing herself feeling good and playing with her current friends. Say in the book that she handled it well, and it’s in the past, and if it ever happened again, she is much bigger and more capable now, and will know what to do. Let her get it all out, every detail, and try to hear her completely, and guide her towards resolution. Then, wrap a bow around it and put it on a high shelf and say that it’s over now, and there is no need to think about it any longer.
Then, I would look into how to practice mindfulness and gratitude with her. Her school guidance counselor can give you some resources. You want to frame her thinking into positivity.
Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old is doing as well as any in the pandemic - stressed, bored, ready to get back to normal, but generally happy with her pod and in good spirits. She's not an anxious kid normally, but may be showing some symptoms lately. She's recently been talking about constant stomach aches, and saying she's sad. When I ask why she's sad she says it's because she can't stop thinking about some mean girl dynamics that happened at preschool TWO YEARS ago. I don't even remember it being a big deal at the time, but I guess a group of girls were exclusionary and picked on some of the other kids. Now she's telling me all kinds of details and clearly thinking about it a lot. Is this just something she's fixating on because she needs somewhere to channel the stress and anxiety we're all feeling? Is this a symptom of anxiety? It's totally foreign to me, but maybe something other kids do?
* When she brings it up we talk about bullies and how to handle mean kids, and try to work through the feelings and talk about how she can handle situations like that next time. She's with her life long BFF now, so I'm sure she's not experiencing any bullying currently.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Could it be something new is going on and she’s using the older bullying events as a proxy?
OP here. It’s definitely this. She’s feeling pandemic blues and is looking for something stressful (that probably gave her similar feelings at the time) to channel the sense of general malaise onto. Like I said, she’s not generally an anxious kid so this is new for all of us and really not something that seems out of hand (yet).
I said bullying because today was the first time I actually called it that when we were talking. I think it was cliquey behavior and kids saying “you can’t play with us because you have/aren’t X (not wearing a dress, have short hair, aren’t girly enough).” Calling it bullying helped her sort of retroactively understand what was going on and think about it differently. Maybe it will help the ruminating? But then I really wonder if she’ll latch onto something else to attach her feelings to? Has anyone had this dredging up of ancient history and is it usually a sign of anxiety? What helps besides therapy and talking through the incident? Any specific tools or tips that you’ve found useful?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your child is ruminating on things that she recalls happening when she was 3?! And you’re characterizing what happened as bullying and fixating on it?
This doesn’t make sense.
Yes I’d say she is anxious and could use a therapist. Stat.
Your child IS an anxious child.
A 3 year-old is NOT a bully.
Your child is not doing as well as any other child during a pandemic. Your child is struggling and needs help.
Anonymous wrote:Could it be something new is going on and she’s using the older bullying events as a proxy?
Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your child is ruminating on things that she recalls happening when she was 3?! And you’re characterizing what happened as bullying and fixating on it?
This doesn’t make sense.
Yes I’d say she is anxious and could use a therapist. Stat.