I was 34, I think. I wasn’t hyper religious, but for quite some time I never had opportunity and inclination at the same time. I had gotten over “nice girls don’t” in my early 20s, but I also never felt like sex was just a random recreational activity or that virginity was just something to be “gotten rid of”. I had high drive at times, but I took care of myself.

So when it just felt right, I didn’t tell him. At that moment my virginity was not a big deal to me, but probably would have made him all weird and awkward, so I didn’t say anything. He still doesn’t know - 20 years later. It just never occurred to him that someone like me (not particularly religious, not particularly unattractive, etc) would not have had sec before.

So you are 1) asexual woman 2) very closeted guy man or 3) victim of sexual abuse?

Anonymous wrote:It’s a feedback loop.

People won’t date you because you’re a virgin, and the longer you stay one, the more people who won’t date you.

No need to even mention it if that’s the case.

So what’s the story OP?

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it’s weird. I’d figure you’re super religious.

I would figure religious but also something "off" there. Most really religious people aren't single virgins out on the dating scene at 35, they got married young.

Anonymous wrote:I was until my late 20s and I thought I was an outlier then.

You were

It’s a feedback loop.

People won’t date you because you’re a virgin, and the longer you stay one, the more people who won’t date you.

Yeah, there's something going on there. If I was interested in dating you (and why else would it come up in conversation?!) it would be a huge red flag.

Absolutely weird.

Probably do not share unless you want judgment and opinions. I’d assume you are a-sexual.

Super weird. I would absolutely wonder what was wrong with you.

Yeah it’s weird. I’d figure you’re super religious.

Yes, I would find it odd and would assume some deep seated intimacy issues.

I was until my late 20s and I thought I was an outlier then.

I think statistically it would be unusual. Even after 25. I have not been in this position so not sure what I would say

It’s definitely unusual.

If you were what were you asked and what answers did you give? Im finding people incredulous because I'm attractive and have a job or judgemental.