Freshman has her phone whenever. We started strict in 6th grade and ever year have eased up as she has shown responsibility. I look at her phone whenever I want though and noticed there were way more concerned stuff in 7th when girls are awful until now. She is a straight A student and likes her sleep. The kids whose parents were really strict just found ways around rules and are sneaky-they erase apps and conversations, sneak to get their phone. Lots of drama

My rules from age 13+ (when we get the kids their own phone; before then they borrow an older "family" flip phone on any occasion we think they need a phone with them) are pretty simple: 1. don't create, send or store images containing nudity, 2. don't knowingly create, retain, access, or discuss anything related to illegal behavior on your part unless you're willing to suffer the current legal consequences of the thing in question, and 3. don't get yourself into trouble. In practice that last rule covers a lot. I don't set limits on when or how much they use their phones but if phone use starts to contribute to behavior problems (bad grades, late to obligations, taking nasty attitudes towards others, etc) then they know that's an issue and that's when stricter rules they won't like might come into play. As long as they can and do manage themselves, I don't need to; if they demonstrate that they need my help to make appropriate choices, that is what will happen.

Should add I also use parental controls on phone as well as circle app which filter content and allows me to shut down phone completely if necessary at anytime via WiFi
Never uses phone past 9, and even then it’s a quick text and then phone back in kitchen
He has an Alexa for music and alarm in bedroom

We have our 13 almost 14 yr old don use phone in public spaces ( not allowed in bedrooms)
Have taken it away if he broke rules of use

Anonymous wrote:I have screen time settings on DD13's phone so it shuts down except for emergency calls starting at 9 pm. So she brings it to my room to be charged overnight without complaints. I have more of an issue with her school Chromebook. Since she is up late doing "homework" on that it's harder to monitor screen time/youtube use.

Same. 12yo twins. They turn off via parental control settings (other than calls) at 8:30. They charge on the charging dock in the kitchen.

My kids (14 and 17) have their phones in their rooms at night to listen to music and set alarms (the older one, in particular, needs multiple alarm!). But they have no internet access after about 9:30PM and we have a VERY limited data plan for them so they’d run through their allotment in one or two nights is they tried using it. We used to have DC #1 charge the phone in the kitchen overnight (before #2 had one) but have found that, for us, this way works better and hasn’t caused any problems with over usage or sleep.

I have screen time settings on DD13's phone so it shuts down except for emergency calls starting at 9 pm. So she brings it to my room to be charged overnight without complaints. I have more of an issue with her school Chromebook. Since she is up late doing "homework" on that it's harder to monitor screen time/youtube use.

Experts say that adults shouldn’t have phones in their room after bedtime. I don’t follow this rule myself (I really should though) but I definitely enforce it for my kids.

No phone in bedrooms after 9pm. Each of our kids has a wakeup light for an alarm (except for one kid who has an actual alarm clock). No phones in bedrooms.

If we catch you sneaking to go use your phone? First time it's taken away for a week. Second time it's taken away for a month. Third time it's taken away permanently.

I made my kids plug their phones in downstairs when they went to bed, whenever that was.

But by senior year in high school, I gave up, figuring he would need to lean at college.

The younger one is 16 and I just started letting him have the phone in his room since he likes to use it as an alarm and I'm just tired of arguing with him. But I also think he is responsible and gets up for school, etc.

Also, he doesn't care that much about social media and isn't wrapped up in it. He does text friends and watch youtube.

We have a 15 year old DD and I'm trying to figure out what rules are reasonable for her phone. Specifically, she wants to be able to take her phone to her room after bed time, which is already pretty late. Do you allow your teens to have their phones in their rooms any time, or do you have a "bed time" for phone usage?