My father supports his mentally disabled brother. Not entirely because he also gets a military pension. (Let’s talk about how rich, well-connected people were able to use deferments to get out of Vietnam, but my uncle who operates on the level of an elementary school student was drafted.) My father owns his house, pays the utilities and taxes, and manages things day to day. Before we got married, I was upfront with my husband that I would inherit that responsibility if he outlives my father. There is no one else.

My father, 80, supports his mentally ill half-sister in her late 60s. Glad you brought this up, as I have been meaning to ask him what the plan is after he passes. We are close and open about death and money, so it won't be a difficult discussion. My guess is he has a trust already set up.

Only a diagnosed disorder or disability or clear emergency, not self induced.

Failure to launch does not qualify.

In laws help out grandson (clothing, camps, tutoring, college). His dad (their son) is a deadbeat dad. If in-laws pass, we would not contribute.

in laws support their adult son who can’t hold down a job or relationship.

No

I have two much-younger baby siblings who I will support as a UMC parent would, should my parents pass. They’re good kids and I love them, and they deserve the same advantages I’ll give my own kids.

Anonymous wrote:My mother completely supports my adult mentally ill sister who should be institutionalized. She thinks she is helping her but it isn’t in anyone’s best interest.

In your mother’s defense institutionalization doesn’t really exist anymore.

My mother completely supports my adult mentally ill sister who should be institutionalized. She thinks she is helping her but it isn’t in anyone’s best interest.

My parents support my two brothers with health/mental health issues, one of whom gets disability but lives with them. The other doesn't qualify and lives in a condo they pay for. They are wealthy and I am confident will leave enough money for them. If they don't for some reason, I will do what I can.

Anonymous wrote:My mother knows that I will not help support her AP in his old age. She has chosen to subsidize him for many years at the expense of her own retirement security. I will help her if she outlives her funds, but not pay the bill for him. I am not sure how this will shake out, but he is definitely so will likely die first anyway.

I mean, he is older. God my parents make dumb decisions sometimes.

My mother knows that I will not help support her AP in his old age. She has chosen to subsidize him for many years at the expense of her own retirement security. I will help her if she outlives her funds, but not pay the bill for him. I am not sure how this will shake out, but he is definitely so will likely die first anyway.

Anonymous wrote:If so, what are your plans for continuing financial support should your family member pass first and not provide for the other family member in their will. Assume the financially dependent person is not the other person’s child.

My father supports his father who lives with him. We also contribute some support. I expect that my grandfather will pass first, but if not, my grandfather would be very welcome to move in with us.

Are we talking about an adult with a disability who cannot support themselves or another elderly family member or just an adult child who never moved out of the basement?

I think the answers will be different depending on the scenario.

If so, what are your plans for continuing financial support should your family member pass first and not provide for the other family member in their will. Assume the financially dependent person is not the other person’s child.