Anonymous wrote:I have never limited screen time because I feel if we forbid something, it's always what they want.

I have 2 boys, ages 16 and 18. My rules have always been

get As and Bs (both have that ability and are good students)

exercise every day

go outside every day

family dinner/movies/outings are without screens

do your chores'

and if you do that, you can do whatever you want with the rest of your day.

And I never bug them or try to get them off their video games--- I just kind of give them the impression it is lame.

My 18 year old rarely plays video games - maybe never, he does watch a lot of netflix and texts his friends

My 16 year old plays A LOT of video games, but he still does the required things and even he gets tired of it sometimes and turns it off - probably because he knows he can play again whenever. We treat it like no big deal.

Same here, no limits if HW and chores are done. DS gets screens taken away as punishment, but I had to do it only one time. Definitely he is playing more with COVID and cold weather, but grades are good, chores are done and he is generally nice to be around, respectful tween, so why limit something he enjoys?

Video games are addictive. Your kid is old enough to have been exposed to addiction training in school, so would understand. Addiction level depends on the type of game, the amount of time and the age of onset.

Image a glass of wine once or twice a week starting at age 5 vs age 25 - totally different effect on brain wiring a decade later.

Because later in life, a video game obsession doesn’t get ‘em wet.

OP here- thanks 8:55 and others this is the kind of thing I was hoping to find.
Not responding to 8:53 since it appears you're looking to take this somewhere unproductive.

I believe they lead to poor posture, eyesight, attention span. Lack of creativity when bored (and feeling like being bored is something to “suffer”. Also lack of physical activity.

That said my kids are also still on too many video games. It’s scary.

Anonymous wrote:To OP: what makes you believe that this is a problem or unhealthy in some way? Is this based upon something, or is it just some unfounded idea that video games = bad?

Not OP, but while the blanket statement that "video games are bad" is unfounded, the idea that they can have detrimental effects for some or even all kids is not unfounded.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/16/health/covid-kids-tech-use.html

Scary.

To OP: what makes you believe that this is a problem or unhealthy in some way? Is this based upon something, or is it just some unfounded idea that video games = bad?

Someone on DCUM said, "to cut back to a healthy amount like 1-2 hours so if you give them a little more occasionally you don't have to feel bad about it." We tried that and it's been going well. Still lots of back and forth but she literally told me today drawing was her "thing" like in Soul the movie. She didn't have any other interests until i forced it.

I have never limited screen time because I feel if we forbid something, it's always what they want.

I have 2 boys, ages 16 and 18. My rules have always been

get As and Bs (both have that ability and are good students)

exercise every day

go outside every day

family dinner/movies/outings are without screens

do your chores'

and if you do that, you can do whatever you want with the rest of your day.

And I never bug them or try to get them off their video games--- I just kind of give them the impression it is lame.

My 18 year old rarely plays video games - maybe never, he does watch a lot of netflix and texts his friends

My 16 year old plays A LOT of video games, but he still does the required things and even he gets tired of it sometimes and turns it off - probably because he knows he can play again whenever. We treat it like no big deal.

Eye and brain health
Posture
Means time not doing other things he likes/liked to do
Time not outside
Time not exercising
Time not reading
Time not thinking his own thoughts while staring out a window at the sky
Time not with family
Time not learning something new or working on something with his hands

Thanks PP's, this is helpful.

I talk about health. You can have eye problems and posture problems if you okay too much.

But goodness gracious I feel you. I’m having the same problem. I don’t love saying “I know my reasons aren’t persuasive to you but you have to do what I say anyway.” And it’s especially difficult during the pandemic.

We do "x amount of screen time then Y amount without" and go back and forth. Say like 20 min screen time, 40 min without screen then back to 20 min and so on Inevitably, during an off screen time he gets into something else and forgets about the time limit.

Tbh, I don't think you'll ever win an argument that too much screen time is bad. They just don't see it that way. Just tell him you don't want him in front of screens all day and come up with a timeframe you're ok with.

Parents who are successfully limiting screens during covid tell me your ways. Or just tell me to chill.

My 13 year old will play the xbox for hours straight if we allow it and with covid slowly taking everything away there are plenty of days when we allow it. He's built all the forts, baked all the cookies, hiked all the trails and watched all the family movies. There's nothing more fun to him than video games.I'm worried now that the habit of video games will be a habit for life because I've seen so many comments about getting a handle on video games while they are young because it's impossible to do when they are older teens. It could be my own problem but I cringe at how much time is being wasted when it could be used learning a useful skill or something.

I understand that I can just turn the computer off to limit video games and let him be bored so that he finds other things to do.

My question though is when he asks why he can't play video games, what do I say to make him understand. The games really aren't having any negative effect on our house so I can understand why he doesn't see a problem. But what evidence can I give to help him make the connection that so much time in front of a screen isn't good? I'm pretty sure everything I say "it's not good to do too much of one thing," "you want to be a well rounded person" just sounds like the Charlie Brown teacher. Do you just take a hard line and that's it? Or am I overreacting?