Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh, I would absolutely not have a 3rd. You already have two healthy kids. It just seems unnecessary given all the health concerns when you not only have 1 but have the sibling experience as well.

So unnecessary. Noone asked your opinion on adding another child.

Um, actually the OP did. She literally started a threat to ask. Dumb much?

No she asked for an opinion on ivf versus trying naturally. Are YOU dumb?

Pretty close to 0% but you certainly can throw your money in a trash can that is IVF and burn it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh, I would absolutely not have a 3rd. You already have two healthy kids. It just seems unnecessary given all the health concerns when you not only have 1 but have the sibling experience as well.

So unnecessary. Noone asked your opinion on adding another child.

Um, actually the OP did. She literally started a threat to ask. Dumb much?

Anonymous wrote:I had my 1st at 41 and my 2nd at 44. I did IVF for #2 and glad I did. We did genetic testing and discovered that only 1 out of 10 eggs was normal. That egg is now a 5th grader.
My advice would be to do IVF with genetic testing.

With the understanding that it might still not work.
If you have the resources I’d definitely go ahead with at least a consult.

Anonymous wrote:Gosh, I would absolutely not have a 3rd. You already have two healthy kids. It just seems unnecessary given all the health concerns when you not only have 1 but have the sibling experience as well.

So unnecessary. Noone asked your opinion on adding another child.

Anonymous wrote:I had my 1st at 41 and my 2nd at 44. I did IVF for #2 and glad I did. We did genetic testing and discovered that only 1 out of 10 eggs was normal. That egg is now a 5th grader.
My advice would be to do IVF with genetic testing.

+1 although you will have to get lucky to have eggs that make it to testing phase and turn out normal. The odds are not in your favor. You didn't see ask about money but unless you are super rich or have great ivf coverage, ask yourself whether it is worth it.

I had my 1st at 41 and my 2nd at 44. I did IVF for #2 and glad I did. We did genetic testing and discovered that only 1 out of 10 eggs was normal. That egg is now a 5th grader.
My advice would be to do IVF with genetic testing.

Gosh, I would absolutely not have a 3rd. You already have two healthy kids. It just seems unnecessary given all the health concerns when you not only have 1 but have the sibling experience as well.

Like you OP, I had my second child at age 39. I just turned 54, and dd turned 15 a few days later.

My unsolicited advice: Quit while you’re ahead. Enjoy the elementary school years, especially the flexibility that comes with traveling when they’re that age. You’ll need your energy for the middle school and teen years.

Although you could have a baby naturally at that age (my aunt did), I would probably do IVF. If I were you, I would also read “It Starts with the Egg” to try and improve your egg quality. The supplements may not help, but it’s worth a shot and I have a friend who finally stayed pregnant with IVF after doing the supplements.

I had my first child at 42...completely normal pregnancy. At 43, I had a miscarriage. My RE basically said that trying IVF would be a waste of money...my eggs are just too old. So now we're doing DE. I am very ok with that decision.

At 44 the odds are about 1.6%, according to this: https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/news/20050825/after-age-44-fertility-successes-are-few#1

The problem I've seen in my friends around age 41-43 is that pregnancy happens but it ends in miscarriage, and sometimes a complicated late miscarriage. That's very hard to go through, especially more than once.

If you've been pregnant before, you are likely still very fertile. I got pregnant naturally at 43 after having two others - the last five years before. If you are worried about your fertility, get your doctor to prescribe Metformin. My fear with late IVF is that lower quality embryos get implanted and then you have either a child with special needs or a late miscarriage.

the problem is that most of the embryos will be chromosomally abnormal. so if you do get pregnant w/o intervention and don't miscarry, your first chance to do genetic testing is at 10-13 weeks gestation, and there is a 1/800 chance of miscarriage associated with CVS. and then you'd possibly have to decide if you were ok with termination for medical reasons.

with IVF you can at least test the embryos beforehand...

I am about to turn 44. We were in the "unexplained infertility" category after all the testing. We had DD #1 on our second IVF attempt. DS #2 was natural conception, after trying only for three months. We have no idea why our experience was different with the second child. Now that DS #2 turned 5 and the parenting life is a lot easier, I've begun thoughts about a third. I realize it might be too late.

My 44 old newly married TTC for a year friend told me that at age 44, the quality of the eggs is the problem, that it makes it harder for not only conception but to carry the baby to term. If I don't go the donor egg route, what are the chances of TTC, conceiving, and actually carrying a third child to term at my age? Should I run to try IVF or is even that pretty much a less than 5% chance event? The default would be to try to conceive naturally and then give up after X months. Perhaps 6-12 months, open to suggestions.