Trump and misogyny in 2020.

I do think 40 is sort of a milestone year where, married or not, you inevitably start contemplating the shape of your life. It's when a lot of people feel like they need to either pull the trigger or move on, in terms of marriage, kids, career change, where you live. There are exceptions, but when you turn 40, I can't tell you how much 50 feels right around the corner. In a way that 40 didn't feel so close when you turn 30 or even 35. 40 is like "Ok, I'm middle aged, this is what my life is -- I can make changes, but I'm not going to stumble into some big shift the way I might have before."

And that's what it is. You can get married past 40 (you can have kids past 40, a variety of ways), but it's not happening unless you make a conscious choice to make it happen. In a way this is much better than the way people often kind of land on marriage partners (or careers, or having kids) by accident if it happens younger. It's why people who marry later tend to stay married. You have to want it. I know a LOT of people who got married with misgivings at 30. Some stayed married, some didn't.

I don't know anyone who got married after 40 who didn't know exactly what they were doing and feel pretty damn certain that this was what they wanted for their future. Because... why? I'm sure it happens, especially with second or third marriages and certain people who just don't know how to be alone. But if you've been single your entire life, you aren't getting married after 40 unless it feels exactly right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel it’s somewhere after 35. Up until then it could be because of work or school but after 35 it starts becoming because they’re too accustomed to being on their own. Maybe 40 is the real threshold where it becomes too hard to adjust your life to fit another person.

Anyone left on the market at 35 generally has serious issues. Most single people who really want to get married and have kids start to feel some urgency by age 30. At some point by 35, it's a red flag to not be married or close to getting married.

It’s 2021, Gramps.

Kamala Harris married for the first time at almost 50.

Anonymous wrote:40. Both M and F.

I know very few exceptions.

whether it's "fair" or not, my observation is that the upper limit is higher for men than women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Five years before however old you are OP.

Seriously, so rude.

Ask idiotic questions you might get an answer you don't like.

I think it matters

1. if you want to have kids
2. if you are male or female

40. Both M and F.

I know very few exceptions.

Anonymous wrote:I feel it’s somewhere after 35. Up until then it could be because of work or school but after 35 it starts becoming because they’re too accustomed to being on their own. Maybe 40 is the real threshold where it becomes too hard to adjust your life to fit another person.

Anyone left on the market at 35 generally has serious issues. Most single people who really want to get married and have kids start to feel some urgency by age 30. At some point by 35, it's a red flag to not be married or close to getting married.

None! My husbands uncle married for the first time at 62- and then was married for 30 years!

I was going to say 37 for a woman!

Anonymous wrote:Five years before however old you are OP.

Seriously, so rude.

Five years before however old you are OP.

I feel it’s somewhere after 35. Up until then it could be because of work or school but after 35 it starts becoming because they’re too accustomed to being on their own. Maybe 40 is the real threshold where it becomes too hard to adjust your life to fit another person.

What is the age for a woman or man, that if you are not already married, you likely may never marry?