Anonymous wrote:OP, no words of advice, but I’m starting around January 9th. Also secondary infertility. Happy to be buddies here if it’s any support.

OP here. How’s it going for you?

I have a jug full of spent syringe needles during IVF (and subsequent progestron shots) to show my DD that conceiving her took money, pain, stress and arguments. Can't wait we could have the talk when she hit puberty in a dozen years.

It's worth it, I was also secondary infertile. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:Same as the prior poster - the waiting and uncertainty made me anxious and depressed. You just have no idea how you'll respond or what you'll get out of the process, even when clinics try to set expectations for you. I had an unexpectedly low egg retrieval (11 follicles, 3 eggs), but then we had 1 embryo to transfer, which resulted in a positive and ended in an early miscarriage. My favorite moment was when I got a call 5 minutes before a meeting I had to lead where the nurse told me my pregnancy wasn't viable. Like here you go, now act like everything is fine the rest of the day. I took December off and never thought about treatment.... it was amazing. I felt human again.

I got that call at work too. I wish I had just received an email that I could choose to read during personal time after work.

I did all of my appointments in the morning and then just refused to think about them for the rest of the day. I kept super busy. Harder now to keep super busy because of covid. I just really detached myself from it all, but the end result was no stress. I did feel detached from that entire pregnancy too (like it wasn't real), but a lot of moms feel that way.

Same as the prior poster - the waiting and uncertainty made me anxious and depressed. You just have no idea how you'll respond or what you'll get out of the process, even when clinics try to set expectations for you. I had an unexpectedly low egg retrieval (11 follicles, 3 eggs), but then we had 1 embryo to transfer, which resulted in a positive and ended in an early miscarriage. My favorite moment was when I got a call 5 minutes before a meeting I had to lead where the nurse told me my pregnancy wasn't viable. Like here you go, now act like everything is fine the rest of the day. I took December off and never thought about treatment.... it was amazing. I felt human again.

For me a big factor has been the unexpected length of my journey. I was generally ok, with mild physical and emotional symptoms, during our first 3 IVF rounds even though none led to pregnancy. After that we kept going for another 4 rounds and have had a string of chemical pregnancies and a MC at 10 weeks. I was on a really high dose of stims for the laat couple rounds, which made me a different person - angry, depressed, and awful to my husband. But I started IVF at 40 and am now 42, so hopefully you won't experience this. Again, I felt great overall, both physically and mentally for our first 3 rounds. Therapy, meditation, regular exercise, prayer (not for everyone, I know) and a healthy diet have helped me.

OP, no words of advice, but I’m starting around January 9th. Also secondary infertility. Happy to be buddies here if it’s any support.

If you don’t already, it may be worth seeing a therapist who specializes in infertility. Georgetown has an outstanding practice (and they take insurance, which is rare)

Thanks all. I’ll try to be extra mindful of my hormones, take time off work to relax, and warn DH that hurricanes could be coming his way. I rarely do the Dr. Google thing, so hopefully I can continue to be strong-willed about that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can be brutal. Didn't happen to me but you can end up with 0 mature eggs, 0 fertilized, 0 make it to day 5. Or you can get a borderline beta and be strung along for weeks only to miscarry +/- needing a D/C. Or you can get a good number of blasts and none of them turn into a take home baby.

The overall success rate is 0.7 babies/cycle so lower your expectations. Distract yourself while its happening. Stay off Dr Google. If something happens call your clinic instead of firing up an internet search

This.

The shots were nothing. It’s the waiting. And the fear you’ll contract Covid and you’ll be cancelled is just icing on the cake.

I just went through my first and last failed IVF cycle so I’m probably extra cynical.

Why first and last? I hope things work out for you.

I actually felt okay throughout my cycle, other than very out of it the retrieval day. In general I was bruised and bloated but nothing too terrible. I felt optimistic about the embryos and just tried to keep busy during the days of waiting for updates.

Wishing you luck OP!

Anonymous wrote:It can be brutal. Didn't happen to me but you can end up with 0 mature eggs, 0 fertilized, 0 make it to day 5. Or you can get a borderline beta and be strung along for weeks only to miscarry +/- needing a D/C. Or you can get a good number of blasts and none of them turn into a take home baby.

The overall success rate is 0.7 babies/cycle so lower your expectations. Distract yourself while its happening. Stay off Dr Google. If something happens call your clinic instead of firing up an internet search

This.

The shots were nothing. It’s the waiting. And the fear you’ll contract Covid and you’ll be cancelled is just icing on the cake.

I just went through my first and last failed IVF cycle so I’m probably extra cynical.

It can be brutal. Didn't happen to me but you can end up with 0 mature eggs, 0 fertilized, 0 make it to day 5. Or you can get a borderline beta and be strung along for weeks only to miscarry +/- needing a D/C. Or you can get a good number of blasts and none of them turn into a take home baby.

The overall success rate is 0.7 babies/cycle so lower your expectations. Distract yourself while its happening. Stay off Dr Google. If something happens call your clinic instead of firing up an internet search

It’s different for everyone of course - for me the first two days of shots were a little stressful getting adjusted but not uncomfortable. The first 8 days or so I felt normal. By the last couple days I was moody and remember crying in the shower over nothing at all! It was so surreal because my DH walked in and I’m like “I’m totally fine! Just sobbing here for no reason LOL!” Then a little sore the day of retrieval and bloated for a couple days. On pins and needles waiting for daily updates from the lab via our nurse. Emotionally I really think it’s not that big a deal especially because you’ve been pregnant before (apologies if this assumption is incorrect) so you have a flavor of hormones.

Secondary infertility, already have a lovely 4yo. I’m a bit high strung normally. I work, but have tons of help I can rely on. How much of a toll is IVF going to have on me? And what can I do to combat this and not burden my patient DH? We are starting in Jan after 3 failed IUIs