You learn. Just like they will have to learn your language.

Physical affection doesn’t have to be “demonstrative”. Walk by and touch on the shoulder to create a connection. Sit closer at the table so you have to brush by. Create small opportunities to touch, even for a moment. Sex will be important to them, but that may come later.

Words of affirmation is also easy. Thank profusely for anything and tell them about how helpful/ amazing/ etc. It was for you p. Praise them for walking in the door. “It’s so great to see you”, or after a date “it was so great to see you”. “Thanks for dinner, it was delicious”. “I really appreciate you warming up the car before we go out”.

Say things like....I really enjoy spending time with you....I had a great time last night....I love X, Y, Z about your personality....I like you a lot

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

You should know by now

Wait, two months in and he’s asking for more reassurance? That doesn’t bode well for a mature and happy relationship.

In the first six months you kind of have to be guarded: you haven't told each other you love each other, you may not be exclusive, he still needs to prove he's worthy of a relationship, etc.

He can't expect you to fawn all over him after knowing him after a couple of months unless he's rather insecure, and he needs a mommy.

You don't have to do any huge overblown gestures. Something as simple as "thanks for making dinner! The chicken was delicious" is all that's needed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

He asks for verbal reassurance though

How about "that was the best pizza I've ever had!".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

He asks for verbal reassurance though

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

When she’s bent over, “I love you $lut.”

DH and I are both Words of Affirmation. We say I Love You all the time. At least 5 times a day but sometimes 20-30. It was weird when he first started doing it, like “Why TF are you always saying I love you?!?!” But I soon got used to it and now realize how much I like it. Usually saying in the morning, bedtime, getting off phone. Then sprinkled in at other times. We regularly, suddenly realize how lucky we are or how much we love the other person and just say it. For me it’s often when we are watching a show together and really getting into it and I realize how much fun I’m having doing something simple with him. Or after reading DCUM relationship craziness 😆

We also say thank you all the time. Thank you for doing the dishes, thank you for taking out the trash, thank you for dinner, etc. It’s all stuff that are “our job” in the marriage, but we still thank each other. I sometimes will thank DH for going to work (to a job he doesn’t like) which allows us to have the life we do. It forces you to pay attention to the good things and not dwell on the bad/annoying stuff.

It’ll be weird for you when you start. You’ll have to make a concerted effort and think about it. I would start with saying I love you 1-2 times a day and Thank you 2-3 times a day.

Nah, I'm like you. Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. I mean, I tell DH I love him at least twice a day but ...

Oh! I do try to compliment him at least once a day. Do you compliment your husband? Try that.

DH is you and I am your husband. We make a habit of telling each other thank you. I try to ask him what he thinks of things so he will say something nice. When you have a nice thought about him, say it. It’s ok that he isn’t always giving verbal affirmation because I know that when he does he means it. When you pass him in the kitchen give him a pat on the shoulder or a kiss. Just try to remember a few things.

Mine is quality time and acts of service. His is words of affirmation and physical affection. I’m not from a demonstrative family and we didn’t talk about feelings. He thinks I’m too guarded and I can tell he needs more verbally. I’d rather bring him a pizza or give him a BJ, but I’m trying! Anyone have any advice on how to make this easier on me so I can give him what he needs?