No, they give me so much more: a welcoming, rational and accepting second family. My BIL went so far as to give us money and a temporary home when my husband was out of work and we had to move. They don't care at all about birthdays or Christmas, and that's fine, because they are helpful *when it matters most*.

Your soon to be ex is terribly immature.

Yes, my ILs (white) give me gifts for birthdays, anniversary & Christmas.
My parents (Asian) gift DH on birthday, cash. We don't do a lot of gift giving culturally.

OP, did he get an occasional gift, early-on, and not "thank" them? That would explain it

(Him saying, "thank your parents for the xx when you talk to them" doesn't count)

Anonymous wrote:my in laws aren’t really gift people but they give us both cash on our birthdays and christmas. my parents don’t give us birthday or christmas gifts because my side of the family doesn’t do adult gifts, just for the kids. i would think it was weird for in laws to give a christmas gift to their child but not the spouse, especially if spending the holiday together. birthdays i don’t think are a big deal.

This is probably why I didn’t notice that they don’t give him anything, we usually spend Christmas with his side of the family. Plus my parents get gifts for the kids (I mean Christmas is for them anyway) so it was never big deal to me.

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of in-laws not giving gifts unless they’re estranged. Why did you not ask your parents why they didn’t give him a gift? It seems mean. If my in-laws didn’t give me a gift I’d stop buying for them. And their son doesn’t buy any gifts either so guess they wouldn’t get anything.

I honestly never really noticed, he never mentioned anything until now. By his logic, he doesn’t buy them gifts either since I’m the one who buys the gifts and say it’s from the whole family.

Yes they do.

My parents get DH gifts for birthdays and Christmas. They also get us gifts for our anniversary and basically send cards to celebrate flag day. ILs do not send me gifts but they also don't send DH gifts. They just don't do gifts and don't make a big deal out of holidays or celebration. It's kind of sad but it's just the way they are.

my in laws aren’t really gift people but they give us both cash on our birthdays and christmas. my parents don’t give us birthday or christmas gifts because my side of the family doesn’t do adult gifts, just for the kids. i would think it was weird for in laws to give a christmas gift to their child but not the spouse, especially if spending the holiday together. birthdays i don’t think are a big deal.

Yep. Not stuff I really want, but stuff.

Never thought much about it. Only bad gifts come to mind. Don’t get it some years and it’s fine.

I've never thought about it until now, but my parents buy me and DH birthday and Christmas presents. My in law buy my DH birthday presents, don't buy me anything for my birthday, and don't get either of us Christmas presents.

I've never been offended by my in laws not acknowledging my birthday. I think some years they text me for it.

I have never heard of in-laws not giving gifts unless they’re estranged. Why did you not ask your parents why they didn’t give him a gift? It seems mean. If my in-laws didn’t give me a gift I’d stop buying for them. And their son doesn’t buy any gifts either so guess they wouldn’t get anything.

Yes, they do and I make sure my mom gets DH a gift for Christmas and his birthday.

My in-laws get me gifts, but I’m an orphan. Not the same but my sister gets him gifts every year. And it has made me feel better that someone besides me is gifting him gifts, when his family does the same.

His step mom gave me re gifted gifts our first year* and that year I’d rather had gotten nothing,initially.

I started using the regifted gifts, found one I really loved, and at the time was too expensive for me to purchase myself. I tried to buy it for myself and the cremes were way out of my budget D:

Had an argument with my soon to be ex, he told me in all the years we were together all parents ever do is get him a “stupid” Christmas card for Christmas. No birthday gifts, no Christmas gifts, etc. He thinks it’s messed up because his mom always gets me something for Christmas and my birthday and my parents should’ve shown him the same respect. Honestly, his mom has probably done that once or twice for me, but it wasn’t a big deal to me. I’m just curious if others get gifts from their in-laws.