Anonymous wrote:eh I could totally be that mom and say " it's fine" because really your daughter is 7 and I imagine within hearing range and I would not want to hurt her feelings. Is a short hello exchange fine, sure. Do I want to engage another person's child, while I watch my toddler and wonder when it's going to end. Ha, ha I know that sounds harsh but it's fine usually means it was fine, but maybe time to wrap up shop. Does anyone want to answer more kid questions from a stranger's child after being quarantined/cooped up with their own kids for months? Tell me I am not alone with wanting a break from all the kid chatter. I say this lovingly OP.

This, but also to the question you asked, the impulse is probably innate. My older kid was like this from infancy. Never had any stranger danger crying. Happy to be handed off to anyone. Would walk up to strangers and talk their ear off. Woe betide anyone who got on an elevator with us. Around 4 I started emphasizing social boundaries. It took a while to stick but at 7 he is friendly without being inappropriate. He will happily hold a conversation with adults but doesn’t talk at them incessantly anymore nor generally approach strangers looking for conversation.

My younger kid never did any of this. She usually refuses to respond to a stranger without prompting from me.

DH and I are both introverts and I was painfully shy as a kid. We got one extrovert kid and one introvert, fortunately not cripplingly shy like I was.

I'm going to go against the grain and say that being friendly/polite/engaging adults in a certain way can be taught. Some of it is cultural, too.

Not so much extroversion vs introversion-- being energized or drained by interaction is pretty innate. But some cultures and families heavily emphasize promptly greeting adults (even strangers one meets at the park), making polite small talk, etc.-- it is considered disrespectful and unfriendly not to. Americans/Europeans tend to find this charming, but it's just expected in some other cultures.

My husband is naturally extroverted but shy... but you would NEVER know it-- he seems so charming and welcoming immediately-- but that's because his parents impressed these lessons on him and his siblings at a young age. Some took these manners on more naturally and others, like my husband, had them drilled in.

What I'm describing doesn't necessarily apply to the kind of interaction OP describes-- it's hard to tell. But I have seen it.

I’m extroverted but I don’t want to talk to any kids at the park or playground that isn’t mine. I go there to buy myself some peace.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:eh I could totally be that mom and say " it's fine" because really your daughter is 7 and I imagine within hearing range and I would not want to hurt her feelings. Is a short hello exchange fine, sure. Do I want to engage another person's child, while I watch my toddler and wonder when it's going to end. Ha, ha I know that sounds harsh but it's fine usually means it was fine, but maybe time to wrap up shop. Does anyone want to answer more kid questions from a stranger's child after being quarantined/cooped up with their own kids for months? Tell me I am not alone with wanting a break from all the kid chatter. I say this lovingly OP.

Yes, this. The other mom was being polite. You need to be the adult and intervene.

+1

I have extroverted kids. They came that way. It’s just a trait. Sometimes they talk too much and I try to make sure they aren’t bothering strangers.

Manners are taught. They don’t pee on the playground, but we know they pee somewhere. Some kids are told not to go up and talk to random strangers.

Introvert raising extroverts, and I have seen mixed reactions from parents. Some are annoyed but most like chatting with my kids for a bit, and my older daughter is good at entertaining younger kids. I read the room and react or hang back accordingly.

At this point, when my kids go to the playground and start talking to a random kid, I’m just relieved that the scary virus hasn’t traumatized them and they are still their normal selves. If this year hasn’t killed their extroversion then it must be innate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:eh I could totally be that mom and say " it's fine" because really your daughter is 7 and I imagine within hearing range and I would not want to hurt her feelings. Is a short hello exchange fine, sure. Do I want to engage another person's child, while I watch my toddler and wonder when it's going to end. Ha, ha I know that sounds harsh but it's fine usually means it was fine, but maybe time to wrap up shop. Does anyone want to answer more kid questions from a stranger's child after being quarantined/cooped up with their own kids for months? Tell me I am not alone with wanting a break from all the kid chatter. I say this lovingly OP.

Yes, this. The other mom was being polite. You need to be the adult and intervene.

+1

I have extroverted kids. They came that way. It’s just a trait. Sometimes they talk too much and I try to make sure they aren’t bothering strangers.

Anonymous wrote:eh I could totally be that mom and say " it's fine" because really your daughter is 7 and I imagine within hearing range and I would not want to hurt her feelings. Is a short hello exchange fine, sure. Do I want to engage another person's child, while I watch my toddler and wonder when it's going to end. Ha, ha I know that sounds harsh but it's fine usually means it was fine, but maybe time to wrap up shop. Does anyone want to answer more kid questions from a stranger's child after being quarantined/cooped up with their own kids for months? Tell me I am not alone with wanting a break from all the kid chatter. I say this lovingly OP.

Yes, this. The other mom was being polite. You need to be the adult and intervene.

Introvert here, raising two introverts. The world is designed for extroverts and being extroverted is something to be proud of. She was giving you a compliment. It’s the same as when someone says to me, “wow, your kids are so quiet” with a pitying look on their face.

eh I could totally be that mom and say " it's fine" because really your daughter is 7 and I imagine within hearing range and I would not want to hurt her feelings. Is a short hello exchange fine, sure. Do I want to engage another person's child, while I watch my toddler and wonder when it's going to end. Ha, ha I know that sounds harsh but it's fine usually means it was fine, but maybe time to wrap up shop. Does anyone want to answer more kid questions from a stranger's child after being quarantined/cooped up with their own kids for months? Tell me I am not alone with wanting a break from all the kid chatter. I say this lovingly OP.

Anonymous wrote:I think she was politely trying to tell you to manage your kid, or at least to indicate to you that the behavior was out of the norm. Some adults don’t really want to be approached by kids they don’t know. It can be hard to get out of the conversation, sometimes you’re confused about whether the kid needs help or something, and you’re trying to watch your own child. Just wanted to give you an honest response. It often helps to remember that random strangers don’t find your child as charming as you do.

OP I think your reading comprehension is poor. As I said, I was coming up to get my daughter so she wouldn’t annoy the parent. The parent assured me she was fine. She also said that any parent at the playground who didn’t want to talk to kids shouldn’t be there, so I don’t think she was politely telling me to manage my daughter who was making conversation.

I think she was politely trying to tell you to manage your kid, or at least to indicate to you that the behavior was out of the norm. Some adults don’t really want to be approached by kids they don’t know. It can be hard to get out of the conversation, sometimes you’re confused about whether the kid needs help or something, and you’re trying to watch your own child. Just wanted to give you an honest response. It often helps to remember that random strangers don’t find your child as charming as you do.

Anonymous wrote:I’m an introvert raising an extrovert. I guarantee you that there’s nothing I did that caused my dd to be extremely outgoing and friendly. That’s just how she came to me. Her social instincts are completely different than mine.

I don’t think any trait is good or bad. The world needs and has room for all kinds of people.

This 100%. My husband is an extrovert, I'm an introvert, we have one of each (two kids). It's absolutely innate.

Anonymous wrote:I’m an introvert raising an extrovert. I guarantee you that there’s nothing I did that caused my dd to be extremely outgoing and friendly. That’s just how she came to me. Her social instincts are completely different than mine.

I don’t think any trait is good or bad. The world needs and has room for all kinds of people.

I’m an introvert raising an extrovert. I guarantee you that there’s nothing I did that caused my dd to be extremely outgoing and friendly. That’s just how she came to me. Her social instincts are completely different than mine.

I don’t think any trait is good or bad. The world needs and has room for all kinds of people.

Today at the playground another mom commented that my kids are all “so extroverted.” (I was checking in on the conversation my 7 year old was having with a mom with a toddler to make sure she wasn’t being annoying and the mom assured me she was fine). I have 3 kids who have no qualms chatting up adults. Is this a good trait? Is it something we did or is it innate in their personalities? Other than this one thing they are all totally different in terms of personality.