Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. I feel that my daughter dreads practicing her string instrument and only wants to do the bare minimum to make her teacher happy. Her teacher puts a lot of pressure and her and is an accomplished musician. But she sings freely and joyfully when she is alone and seems to get more joy from it. That said, she doesn’t have any pressure from singing since she doesn’t take weekly lessons or do anything that imposes demands on her.. many of her friends are in the orchestra crowd and she likes all the folks in the group and she has gotten to play in the school’s highest middle school orchestra with the older kids so that is fun for her. There are times that I feel that practicing a string instrument alone is just a drag! And you really must practice a string instrument whether you are an elite or even a less than elite level, whereas I am not sure that being in a choir requires as much individual practice.

1.) Almost zero young musicians voluntarily practice...even the ones that eventually go pro.

2.) Vocal music can be as rigorous and disciplined as instrumental.

3.) Let her pick.

4.) Try not to suck the fun out of it.

Oh my god, stop trying to maneuver everything so there's a net gain. Just let her try whichever she wants.

Exactly, if you are posting in this forum she is old enough to decide!

Anonymous wrote:Why do you assume that only “elite” orchestra activities will lead to deep friendships?

I played cello from age 8-17 and was never in the elite orchestras, but made a ton of friends.

Let her pick what she wants to do.

This. But, I also did band (marching and concert) and choir. Its a lot but I loved it. If the passion is there it should be her choice. I wanted DS to play cello as well, but I let him choose. He chose cello and then realized that he needed to practice a lot to make any progress. I made the decision for him to drop cello. His heart wasn't in it and he refused to practice. He switched to voice, has made progress, and loves it.

She should choose for herself, since as you said, this falls firmly in lackadaisical territory. Perhaps she can continue with the school orchestra and pick an outside choir.

My DD, who is concertmaster in MCYO, has a different level of commitment to her instrument. She also tried Strathmore Children's Chorus, for fun, and it was fine, but she prefers orchestra.

Consider doing both. Both could provide fun experiences and friendships now and throughout life.

Her choice.

Oh my god, stop trying to maneuver everything so there's a net gain. Just let her try whichever she wants. If she doesn't like it, she'll have learned she didn't like it. No big deal.

I am the OP. I feel that my daughter dreads practicing her string instrument and only wants to do the bare minimum to make her teacher happy. Her teacher puts a lot of pressure and her and is an accomplished musician. But she sings freely and joyfully when she is alone and seems to get more joy from it. That said, she doesn’t have any pressure from singing since she doesn’t take weekly lessons or do anything that imposes demands on her.. many of her friends are in the orchestra crowd and she likes all the folks in the group and she has gotten to play in the school’s highest middle school orchestra with the older kids so that is fun for her. There are times that I feel that practicing a string instrument alone is just a drag! And you really must practice a string instrument whether you are an elite or even a less than elite level, whereas I am not sure that being in a choir requires as much individual practice.

Let her decide

For now orchestra is better bc of covid

OP I split the difference: two years in orchestra, then two years in choir. Choir definitely offered more results for less practice. Much of school choir singing is *not* musical theater style, if that would make a difference to your daughter. I get your point about smaller groups fostering good friendships but larger groups can do so too, and it's hard to predict when. The choir and orchestra crowds sometimes come together - for school musicals with a pit orchestra.

I think she can't go wrong either way (unless the PP's point about COVID is still relevant for some time to come). Tell her what you know about both and she will be able to decide.

Yes. I pretty much suck at flute and also as a singer, but my music camp friendships continue to this day! Just let her pick.

Tbh with COVID, orchestra seems like the safer choice. And if she knows she likes the orchestra then why switch?

She's old enough to decide. You can certainly suggest choir, but let her decide. Even non-"elite" orchestras can be great ways to have fun, develop skills, and make friends.

Why do you assume that only “elite” orchestra activities will lead to deep friendships?

I played cello from age 8-17 and was never in the elite orchestras, but made a ton of friends.

Let her pick what she wants to do.

Let her take the lead on deciding.

DD has a strong background as a cellist but also has a lovely singing voice. She doesn’t do a lot of musicals due to the time commitment but her school offers either choir or orchestra. As a former orchestra musician myself, I know that orchestra can provide a lot of fun group activities and it was a good fit for my nerdy personality. She is also a geek like me, but she doesn’t love to practice so I don’t see her excelling and getting picked for the elite string activities that require extensive practice and also lead to deep friendships. For instance, I was a member of a string quartet in high school and we played at weddings etc in addition to going to school orchestra trips and all region etc.

I guess I am wondering whether there could be benefits to steering her to choir based on her natural vocal talents and her disinclination to seriously practice her string instrument? I feel like it’s less competitive and could be more fun for her to participate in singing groups. On the other hand, she already has friends in the orchestra group and so seems to be going down that path. She seems to enjoy singing more: she has taken musical theater classes but we haven’t had her take voice lessons due to her other commitments.