Anonymous wrote:Why did you have to announce to her that you would not be bringing the kids over since she went to Manhattan? Why couldn’t you keep it simple and just say that you are unavailable?

Why did you have to announce to the kids that they will not be seeing Grandma?

Unfortunately, OP, it sounds like you are feeding into all of the drama instead of being a peacemaker or at least avoiding it. People who are dramatic need to be handled a certain way.

I'm not the OP, but clearly you haven't dealt with a narcissist before. You think this course of action would have yielded better results? Lololol!!!

You people literally cannot read. Going no contact is the definition of not feeding into it. Being a peacekeeper is not possible with a narcissist. It is a long road to go no contact with an abusive parent.

God bless your heart that you are ignorant as to how these people behave. Ignorance is truly bliss in your case. I say that with absolute kindness.

Anonymous wrote:OP your detailed post is long and boring. Disentangle yourself from this shit. Move on. FFS

Looks like she is. First sentence.

OP your detailed post is long and boring. Disentangle yourself from this shit. Move on. FFS

Why did you have to announce to her that you would not be bringing the kids over since she went to Manhattan? Why couldn’t you keep it simple and just say that you are unavailable?

Why did you have to announce to the kids that they will not be seeing Grandma?

Unfortunately, OP, it sounds like you are feeding into all of the drama instead of being a peacemaker or at least avoiding it. People who are dramatic need to be handled a certain way.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your mom has a classic case of narcissistic personality disorder. I'm guessing she's an enabler to your brothers addiction. Not supersonic your brother I'd an alcoholic. I guess that's how he copes.

No contact for these types is the only way to manage.

Agree! Grow those boundaries and come here for support if you need to.

^^^^surprising...not sure where supersonic came from lol!!!

Sounds like your mom has a classic case of narcissistic personality disorder. I'm guessing she's an enabler to your brothers addiction. Not supersonic your brother I'd an alcoholic. I guess that's how he copes.

No contact for these types is the only way to manage.

Kool story sis

Anonymous wrote:Good for you. I hope it’s a weight off your shoulders.

It really is. I have no idea why over the years I keep coming back to her and taking her abuse. It's this crazy ass cycle. My contact for the last few years has been low and even that is way too much. Who pucks a fight with someone who doesn't want to expose their kids to covid? Jesus.

Anonymous wrote:You both sound like drama queens. Why do you have to make a big pronouncement to your kids? No need to drag then into your issues with mom. If they ask about seeing her just say it wasn’t possible right now due to Covid issues. I’m a really big
Believer in PROTECTING my children from crazy adults, not dragging them into the middle of it.

Likewise, there was no need to be in the middle of your brother’s business between his wife and your MIL.

Wondering what your relationship is like with the other sister.

My sister? She's my best friend. She doesn't speak to my mom either.

I was not in the middle of my brother and my MIL. I don't know where you are getting that, but ok?

Yea. I will be protecting my kids from crazy adults. You are correct.

Anonymous wrote:"Now I'm just going to have to break it to the kids that I won't be facilitating any visits with her. They are not huge fans of her anyway so I suppose it might be a non issue."

Sounds like your kids will be fine without a relationship with their grandmother. They have already learned that grandmothers whose "moral compass" is broken are expendable so no big deal.

Remember that in about 20 years when the same happens to you.

If I act like my mother then good for them! I hope they don't tolerate abuse out of anyone I waited wayyyy too long make this break.

You both sound like drama queens. Why do you have to make a big pronouncement to your kids? No need to drag then into your issues with mom. If they ask about seeing her just say it wasn’t possible right now due to Covid issues. I’m a really big
Believer in PROTECTING my children from crazy adults, not dragging them into the middle of it.

Likewise, there was no need to be in the middle of your brother’s business between his wife and your MIL.

Wondering what your relationship is like with the other sister.

"Now I'm just going to have to break it to the kids that I won't be facilitating any visits with her. They are not huge fans of her anyway so I suppose it might be a non issue."

Sounds like your kids will be fine without a relationship with their grandmother. They have already learned that grandmothers whose "moral compass" is broken are expendable so no big deal.

Remember that in about 20 years when the same happens to you.

Good for you. I hope it’s a weight off your shoulders.

...and I will never speak to her again. I have had it with her. Quick summary of the latest, in a long tiresome line of incidents, to get this off my chest. Not really looking for much.
-she texts me COMPLETELY out of the blue without provocation and says. "Covid is getting dangerous I won't be able to see the kids for some time " I'm like ok and she then offers a sleep over which I decline, in lieu I suggest a day trip. Preferably outdoors if we have a nice day. She says fine give me dates. This is now getting strange since this started off her being scared of covid and immediately seguewayes into a sleepover of all things. I tell her I will get back to her with dates.

Meantime my alcoholic brother who shares custody with my ex SIL tells my SIL he is going away with my mom this weekend (which was this past weekend) . He then brazenly posts pictures of himself ALL OVER MANHATTAN and is quite smug about his public display of defiance. I know for a fact my brother lied to my SIL and my mother did not go with him.

I text my mom and say "hey brother sys you went with him to Manhattan, I know you'd never do that in a pandemic, but since our brother spends his visits with my nephew in your home for the weekend we'll have to skip you seeing the kids as I don't want to introduce that risk into my home, stay safe, let's loop back after the holidays.

SHE THEN GOES OFF. She says "I wanted to go to Manhattan with him and was going to, but I had an important drs appt I couldn't skip and proceeds to carry on and on and on about how many safety precautions he took and that I have no right to pass judgment and that it's safe to visit Manhattan.

I basically then went off and told her her moral compass is broken and how dare she try to gaslight me during a pandemic about keeping my family safe.

This all starts with her telling me that she couldn't see my kids (mind you I made zero plans with her to do so) because of covid safety.

Maybe this incident seems like is should be forgiven, but this is a loooooooog string of absolutely off the rocker insane nasty behavior and attacks out of my mother. She treated my exSIL like dogs crap, she has not spoken to my sister since June after she made up up crazy lies about her and then double downed when confronted. These lies were about my sister and the state of Vermont. Yes Vermont. Lies about Vermont and my sister. What the actual fu%k??? There is some.backstory there, but too tiresome to explain that side show.

I'd say she has dementia, but she's been like this for years. She is so damn nasty. Now I'm just going to have to break it to the kids that I won't be facilitating any visits with her. They are not huge fans of her anyway so I suppose it might be a non issue. THANK YOU GOD I have wonderful inlaws and a great sister and a great ex SIL who I consider a sister. The ties with my mother are officially severed and I will never repair them. She is too toxic. She brings me nothing, but misery.