Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For several reasons. First and foremost, there is almost never a situation where infidelity was only one persons fault. It usually happens after both people have failed. Second, I don't paint all pictures with the same brush. The circumstances around the infidelity was in the past and most people learn from the past.
Personally, it sounds like your bitter and can't get over something that may have been partially your fault as well.

Who are you talking to? None of that is apparent in OP’s ?. You are reading a lot of yourself into the ?. It sounds like blame shifting.

Well, OPs question is accusatory with “why... when there are so many single men...”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For several reasons. First and foremost, there is almost never a situation where infidelity was only one persons fault. It usually happens after both people have failed. Second, I don't paint all pictures with the same brush. The circumstances around the infidelity was in the past and most people learn from the past.
Personally, it sounds like your bitter and can't get over something that may have been partially your fault as well.

Most people do not learn from the past, especially when they don’t get help or honestly confront instead of make excuses or blame others.

People tend to make the same mistakes over and over again.

Yeah. Cheaters always end up cheating in their 2nd marriages (on the person they cheated with the first time around). It’s why second marriages have a 65-70% divorce rate. If they did the heavy therapeutic work, change is possible. Most don’t. Most blame their behavior on everyone else and do mental gymnastics to justify it. It’s always somebody else’s fault.

Anonymous wrote:For several reasons. First and foremost, there is almost never a situation where infidelity was only one persons fault. It usually happens after both people have failed. Second, I don't paint all pictures with the same brush. The circumstances around the infidelity was in the past and most people learn from the past.
Personally, it sounds like your bitter and can't get over something that may have been partially your fault as well.

Most people do not learn from the past, especially when they don’t get help or honestly confront instead of make excuses or blame others.

People tend to make the same mistakes over and over again.

Anonymous wrote:For several reasons. First and foremost, there is almost never a situation where infidelity was only one persons fault. It usually happens after both people have failed. Second, I don't paint all pictures with the same brush. The circumstances around the infidelity was in the past and most people learn from the past.
Personally, it sounds like your bitter and can't get over something that may have been partially your fault as well.

Who are you talking to? None of that is apparent in OP’s ?. You are reading a lot of yourself into the ?. It sounds like blame shifting.

For several reasons. First and foremost, there is almost never a situation where infidelity was only one persons fault. It usually happens after both people have failed. Second, I don't paint all pictures with the same brush. The circumstances around the infidelity was in the past and most people learn from the past.
Personally, it sounds like your bitter and can't get over something that may have been partially your fault as well.

I was married. I chose other married cheaters so that they would be discreet since they had to hide it from their families too. They also could understand time constrictions.

Anonymous wrote:I was young and stupid, with low self esteem.

Same here. I was the other woman. I didn't know when we first started dating because he managed to hide it well. By the time I found out, he had me wrapped around his little finger. He knew how to manipulate my low self esteem. He knew exactly how to play the game well. We had been together for about 8 months and we were supposed to go on vacation and he canceled at the last minute because his wife was sick. I think that made me stop and realize that he was still married and obviously still cared about her. I broke it off shortly after and spent about a year in therapy before I started dating again.

I felt guilty for a long time about what I did. Given the time we spent together and vacations we took, I can only imagine the web of lies he had created for her.

Anonymous wrote:We made an arrangement which worked for us both. We traveled together, went out to local restaurants, had dinner with friends his wife knew. Master of manipulation, never marry a lobbyist ladies. Went on for almost a year, cut things off after I stated a normal relationship. I'm certain her had other women on the side as well. It's never one one women when men cheat.

But why did you do this when there are plenty of single men? Also why would you knowingly go to dinner with friends that know the wive? Did you enjoy the feeling of knowing you were with another woman's husband? Is it a power thing? (not OP)

Anonymous wrote:We made an arrangement which worked for us both. We traveled together, went out to local restaurants, had dinner with friends his wife knew. Master of manipulation, never marry a lobbyist ladies. Went on for almost a year, cut things off after I stated a normal relationship. I'm certain her had other women on the side as well. It's never one one women when men cheat.

^"He had"

I don't understand your question. Are you saying why ever date any man if you found out he cheated at some point in the past?

Half of people cheat, not everyone is looking for marriage in every relationship

We made an arrangement which worked for us both. We traveled together, went out to local restaurants, had dinner with friends his wife knew. Master of manipulation, never marry a lobbyist ladies. Went on for almost a year, cut things off after I stated a normal relationship. I'm certain her had other women on the side as well. It's never one one women when men cheat.

I had no idea he was a cheater

I was young and stupid, with low self esteem.

I wasn’t interested in a full blown relationship at that time. Did not have time or bandwidth. But I did not care for one night stands either.

Why give a cheater or ex cheater a chance when there are so many other men?