Very neat home growing up. My parents are 80 and don't keep their home as spotless as they used to and it seems so out of place to see a few crumbs on the kitchen counter at 10am or an unmade bed.

It has affected me in that I now prefer a neat home but I can't keep up with it, and my husband is no help unless I tell him specifically what to do and over and over again. Therefore, I'm usually frustrated with our fairly cluttered house.

Growing up our house was always clean, but also cluttered. My mom was always cleaning the floors, kitchen, bathrooms, and us kids had chore but there was also piles of mail, bills, paperwork strewn about. My mom worked full time and did the best she could.

Our home now is incredibly clean mostly because DH is a neat freak

In the middle, definitely not dirty or grimy at all and fairly neat but lots of stuff and clutter so not every single thing necessarily had a place. The kitchen/dining table was always half covered in papers and stuff unless company was over, for example.

As a result, very minimalist spaces feel cold and depressing to me. To quote a TikTok audio “Where’s the flavor???” I like having a space that looks lived in and have a high tolerance for clutter. I’m much messier than my single parent was, but that’s more a function of my ADHD.

I wish I could get my kids to be more adept at cleaning. They do try but its hard for them to tidy and line up their bed linens nicely. I figured it was an age thing but their friend came and helped clean and it was better than any housekeeper has done. They put things away I didnt expect but in the most common sense way and the linens were perfect. I know they have a cleaning service too which makes it even more impressive that they don't get lazy about it.

I grew up in a messy home with a perfectionist mother who would go on angry cleaning jags, and an aloof and immature father who would blame the children for our mother's unhappiness. I grew up anxious. I'm now a human person who is good at cleaning up after myself but also still makes messes sometimes because that's normal and okay.

But I still always feel most relaxed when the house is clean and tidy. And even though my anxiety is treated, I will still feel it rise when the house is getting messy or cluttered. I'll always be a little this way. I'm trying not to pass it onto my children.

Grew up in a very orderly home, where everything had a place. Every Single Thing.

My brother and I each have very orderly homes. But, our kids are allowed in all rooms in the house. And it's okay to have proof that kids live in the house in our homes.

We both keep very little on our kitchen and bathroom counters, neither of keep random piles of paper and junk around, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Grew up in a neat home and I have very messy tendencies. Our home fluctuates wildly between pig sty and people wondering why our house is so clean and "do children actually live here?" My SO grew up in a messy house and is never messy. They are tidy with every movement and I am the opposite.

I want to add that growing up in a clean home was nice socially as we often hosted parties and inviting people over was easy and could be done without warning.

Extremely clean home. My mother took pride that when the pastor came over, he said he could "eat off the floor." My mom was maniacally obsessed with keeping things clean and organized, and she did it all herself when I was young. I marvel at it now. I think psychologically, it was an image thing, because she grew up poor (but clean!) and needed cleanliness to show she was good enough/had class/etc, could at least not be a dirty poor person. The cleanness was proof of worth, and next to godliness.

Today, my house pretty clean but I leave dishes overnight sometimes and I do not stress. I have a housecleaner to help. I love things to be clean but can't see how I could keep it all up myself without going nuts. I am not up to my mom's standards.

Another difference between my mom and I, is that I am very minimalist while she liked to have stuff. I don't want to take care of so much stuff. This is probably a boomer/gen x difference.

Grew up in a very neat home. I’m a messy/cluttered adult and I hate it. I get overwhelmed by the messiness and then stall on cleaning.

Grew up in a clean but cluttered house. My parents have a 3ft high pile of newspaper articles in the corner of their kitchen that they clipped because they’re “going to read them again someday.” Doing laundry was an everyday affair. Clean folded clothes seemed to be in every room, but never made it to drawers.

I probably don’t clean as much as my mom does, but the newspapers are recycled after a week and the laundry goes straight from the machine to the drawers. Clutter makes me crazy.

Grew up in a neat home and I have very messy tendencies. Our home fluctuates wildly between pig sty and people wondering why our house is so clean and "do children actually live here?" My SO grew up in a messy house and is never messy. They are tidy with every movement and I am the opposite.

Something in between. Mildly messy but regularly cleaned home. Pretty similar to how I am now.

Grew up in a messy home, and I’m still messy.

I grew up in a neat freak home. I’m not a total slob, but definitely a lot messier than my parents. I wish my mom had spent more time chilling out with us and less time keeping the house perfect.

Were your parents tidy? Was your house spic-and-span? Or was it cluttered, musty and dusty?
How has this affected your adult family life -- do you insist on keeping an orderly home? Do you splay out and let things go to seed?