Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes I can/have skipped weeks. I don’t go to the liquor store, ever, but occasionally will have a wine delivery to our house. I don’t seek it out or look forward to it all day but have generally noticed that it really helps slow down the unending buzz of what’s next on my to-do list and to focus on things unrelated to the kids. I guess if I’m posting here at all I am obviously a little concerned. I’ve had multiple friends start anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds during the pandemic and I wonder if this is a way of self medicating. I think I’ll do a dry January but will probably miss the relaxing coping mechanism I’ve picked up

That you’re waiting for a date in the future to stop tells me you already have a problem. Why not skip it tonight?

Maybe she’s waiting for when she has a chance to have a moment’s rest before 7:30 PM. The way I see it, living like that is as big of a problem as her coping mechanism, and she doesn’t have control over that.

It's not normal in our house. DH and I only drink wine on Friday or Saturday nights.

After the kids are in bed I do about 5-10 minutes of yoga to de-stress. THEN we start making dinner and getting the house ready for the next day.

It's probably fairly normal among upper middle class women, but that doesn't mean you aren't an alcoholic.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes I can/have skipped weeks. I don’t go to the liquor store, ever, but occasionally will have a wine delivery to our house. I don’t seek it out or look forward to it all day but have generally noticed that it really helps slow down the unending buzz of what’s next on my to-do list and to focus on things unrelated to the kids. I guess if I’m posting here at all I am obviously a little concerned. I’ve had multiple friends start anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds during the pandemic and I wonder if this is a way of self medicating. I think I’ll do a dry January but will probably miss the relaxing coping mechanism I’ve picked up

That you’re waiting for a date in the future to stop tells me you already have a problem. Why not skip it tonight?

Anonymous wrote:Honest question- for pp and those that have 1/2 or 1 glass of wine with dinner why do you do that if not to relax/enjoy dinner?

Wine makes food taste better. It doesn’t relax me or make me feel better or worse. And my mother used to say that wine made food digest more easily which is why people have been pairing food with wine for centuries.

Op here. Yes I can/have skipped weeks. I don’t go to the liquor store, ever, but occasionally will have a wine delivery to our house. I don’t seek it out or look forward to it all day but have generally noticed that it really helps slow down the unending buzz of what’s next on my to-do list and to focus on things unrelated to the kids. I guess if I’m posting here at all I am obviously a little concerned. I’ve had multiple friends start anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds during the pandemic and I wonder if this is a way of self medicating. I think I’ll do a dry January but will probably miss the relaxing coping mechanism I’ve picked up

I was married to an alcoholic for several years. I highly recommend you find another way to relax. Even if you stay high functioning, even if it's not a terribly slipperly slope, it's going to impact you. There were so many subtle, miserable ways it changed my spouse.

Could you easily stop for a week? A month? I love an evening glass of wine myself but I periodically stop for weeks/months to make sure I easily can. Sometimes I do the sober Jan. thing.

DH drinks a very small glass of red wine every night and has for around 20 years. And I really mean small, like 2-3 oz. He never drinks more than that, except occasionally on vacation (e.g. he will have a mai tai in Hawaii). I do not think it hurts him.

We have had a glass of wine with dinner nearly every night since the pandemic started. We dont always, if im too tired then i dont since ill just pass out before cleaning up. I dont see an issue since we don't have ti drink it, just choose to because it tastes nice and its our ritual. Sometimes its a cup of tea together instead. I dont spend all day looking forward ti the wine or how it makes me feel though.

Honest question- for pp and those that have 1/2 or 1 glass of wine with dinner why do you do that if not to relax/enjoy dinner?

It depends a lot on if it’s mostly 1 and occasionally two normal sized glasses or almost always two of those giant glasses. If you are concerned I would quantify what you are drinking (in ounces-a “glass of wine” is abt 5-6 oz to a doctor) and then set a limit, like one glass except saturdays. If you can’t stick to that that’s a problem.

It’s not healthy, OP. I drink about a half glass to a glass of wine with dinner but never drink it to “relax”. You need to look into other ways to turn off and relax (like exercise or meditation, deep breathing and yoga).

You’re setting yourself up for bigger problems drinking every night.

Just be careful of habit forming. My mother started this way when I was young and it slid into full blown alcoholism which eventually killed her. She told me it all started innocently enough because she liked having a drink while watching tv to relax at night. And then got beyond her control.

I don’t know about normal, but it’s not healthy.

That said, I’d do the same thing in your situation. Those ages are soooo hard. You need to be careful but hopefully at some point your circumstances will change and you won’t need so much wine to cope.

I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old. I work full time from home and have the 9 month old home with me. I have absolutely zero “me” time until the kids go to bed around 7:30. Once they’re asleep, I usually pour myself a glass of wine to relax and transition to a few hours of a book, chatting with DH, cleaning up. Basically it seems the only way I can turn off the “mom” mode is to have a glass of wine. It just seems to take the edge off of the non-stop buzz of mom mental load (planning the next dr appt, planning holiday stuff, general 2020 worries, etc).

Is this a bad idea? Is it a slippery slope? Am I the only one? It seems to really help relax my brain and I rarely have any more than 1-2 glasses.