Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm watching The Undoing and am intrigued by narcissism. How can you tell your SO is a narcissist? Any telltale signs? I suspect my DH is one.

They are on the spectrum and present as selfish, narcissistic, thoughtless, careless. Also lies, omits and gaslights to cover up mistakes, which are frequent.

In reality, they have mind blindness, no foresight, can only talk about their favorite things, and can’t care or take care of anything.

But a true narcissistic can and will use emotion to manipulate, hFA individuals don’t care and are emotionless (unless having a temper tantrum).

hFA?

High functioning autism= aspergers. Ok with the speaking and eye contact, Tho will move convos in order to lecture on fave 1-2 topics.

High functioning aspergers are in no means narcissists. Narcissists ooze charm, something somebody with asperger's is incapable of doing. Narcissists know how to use emotion to use and abuse. Asperger's are devoid of emotion and have zero EQ. They wouldn't know how to begin to skillfully manipulate and gaslight someone.

This is true! Also HFA are usually so practical and logical that they take your statement at face value and emotions don’t cloud their judgment. That is helpful when discussing or sharing criticism, but it is also difficult for them to express the same type of love and affection that makes their partner feel loved.

I have a wonderful HFA girlfriend and there is no way she could be so self absorbed as a narcissist. And the narcissist I am thinking of would immediately dismiss any possibility of self-reflection. They literally fake it until they make it. Everything they do mirrors what they see, good or bad. They learn how to piece together normal human behavior in a manipulative manner. This is also why they’re attracted to well adjusted intelligent ans particularly empathetic women. Really easy to mirror sentiments of an emoter and store those tricks in their actors manual of manipulation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attention. Needed lots of attention/admiration.
Extremely flirtatious.
Fixated on himself/body
Entitled
Talked down how other men were losers
Everyone was always lame.
Felt he was special
Very critical

His father was an alcoholic, cheater and extreme narcissist. His mother was cold, borderline and in denial of everything.

He love bombed the shit out of me the first few years and could charm and make anyone believe anything.

I see it’s all a cover for how much they hate themselves on the inside. They also learn to feel no guilt/empathy.

Yep. It’s eery. They also tend to target well-adjusted women for long-term relationships because these women are unsuspecting and don’t believe anyone is capable of being so covertly evil.

+2.

Divorcing a narcissist is pure hell. When you realize who they really are you wonder if you are so well adjusted to have fallen foe a person like this. Just a reminder — there is nothing wrong with YOU for BELIEVING A LIE. You were lied to, manipulated, and used as emotional bait. There are 2 people I know who feel guilt from falling for a person like this, the issue is not with you, it’s them. Be thankful you woke up and have the strength to course correct.

Also narcissists will often put you on a pedestal. Doing so will often make you think act favorably towards you, which is the total end game.

Symptoms
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
Take advantage of others to get what they want
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Be envious of others and believe others envy them
Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment
Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm watching The Undoing and am intrigued by narcissism. How can you tell your SO is a narcissist? Any telltale signs? I suspect my DH is one.

They are on the spectrum and present as selfish, narcissistic, thoughtless, careless. Also lies, omits and gaslights to cover up mistakes, which are frequent.

In reality, they have mind blindness, no foresight, can only talk about their favorite things, and can’t care or take care of anything.

But a true narcissistic can and will use emotion to manipulate, hFA individuals don’t care and are emotionless (unless having a temper tantrum).

hFA?

High functioning autism= aspergers. Ok with the speaking and eye contact, Tho will move convos in order to lecture on fave 1-2 topics.

High functioning aspergers are in no means narcissists. Narcissists ooze charm, something somebody with asperger's is incapable of doing. Narcissists know how to use emotion to use and abuse. Asperger's are devoid of emotion and have zero EQ. They wouldn't know how to begin to skillfully manipulate and gaslight someone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm watching The Undoing and am intrigued by narcissism. How can you tell your SO is a narcissist? Any telltale signs? I suspect my DH is one.

They are on the spectrum and present as selfish, narcissistic, thoughtless, careless. Also lies, omits and gaslights to cover up mistakes, which are frequent.

In reality, they have mind blindness, no foresight, can only talk about their favorite things, and can’t care or take care of anything.

But a true narcissistic can and will use emotion to manipulate, hFA individuals don’t care and are emotionless (unless having a temper tantrum).

hFA?

High functioning autism= aspergers. Ok with the speaking and eye contact, Tho will move convos in order to lecture on fave 1-2 topics.

Anonymous wrote:The attention. Needed lots of attention/admiration.
Extremely flirtatious.
Fixated on himself/body
Entitled
Talked down how other men were losers
Everyone was always lame.
Felt he was special
Very critical

His father was an alcoholic, cheater and extreme narcissist. His mother was cold, borderline and in denial of everything.

He love bombed the shit out of me the first few years and could charm and make anyone believe anything.

I see it’s all a cover for how much they hate themselves on the inside. They also learn to feel no guilt/empathy.

Yep. It’s eery. They also tend to target well-adjusted women for long-term relationships because these women are unsuspecting and don’t believe anyone is capable of being so covertly evil.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm watching The Undoing and am intrigued by narcissism. How can you tell your SO is a narcissist? Any telltale signs? I suspect my DH is one.

They are on the spectrum and present as selfish, narcissistic, thoughtless, careless. Also lies, omits and gaslights to cover up mistakes, which are frequent.

In reality, they have mind blindness, no foresight, can only talk about their favorite things, and can’t care or take care of anything.

But a true narcissistic can and will use emotion to manipulate, hFA individuals don’t care and are emotionless (unless having a temper tantrum).

hFA?

Anonymous wrote:I'm watching The Undoing and am intrigued by narcissism. How can you tell your SO is a narcissist? Any telltale signs? I suspect my DH is one.

They are on the spectrum and present as selfish, narcissistic, thoughtless, careless. Also lies, omits and gaslights to cover up mistakes, which are frequent.

In reality, they have mind blindness, no foresight, can only talk about their favorite things, and can’t care or take care of anything.

But a true narcissistic can and will use emotion to manipulate, hFA individuals don’t care and are emotionless (unless having a temper tantrum).

The attention. Needed lots of attention/admiration.
Extremely flirtatious.
Fixated on himself/body
Entitled
Talked down how other men were losers
Everyone was always lame.
Felt he was special
Very critical

His father was an alcoholic, cheater and extreme narcissist. His mother was cold, borderline and in denial of everything.

He love bombed the shit out of me the first few years and could charm and make anyone believe anything.

I see it’s all a cover for how much they hate themselves on the inside. They also learn to feel no guilt/empathy.

Lots of triangulation, often subtle, and in many aspects of their life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:narcissistic supply - needs it
any attention good or bad
zero empathy
inability to love

I feel like this is me, except for the attention. I want some attention, sure, and definitely appreciation. But I have little empathy and I feel like I don't even know wtf love is and I have two amazing children.

so. Maybe I'm the narcissist?

No. The fact that you think you could be the narcissist is a clear indication that you aren’t. No one suffering from NPD will ever acknowledge it. Those who wonder if they have it may have traits needing improvement but they do t fall into the categorical dysfunction and abuse of a person with NPD

Anonymous wrote:narcissistic supply - needs it
any attention good or bad
zero empathy
inability to love

I feel like this is me, except for the attention. I want some attention, sure, and definitely appreciation. But I have little empathy and I feel like I don't even know wtf love is and I have two amazing children.

so. Maybe I'm the narcissist?

Every single trait exists
He is in denial about it
He accuses me of it and projects
He has the appropriate back story to support the self-hate

narcissistic supply - needs it
any attention good or bad
zero empathy
inability to love

I'm watching The Undoing and am intrigued by narcissism. How can you tell your SO is a narcissist? Any telltale signs? I suspect my DH is one.