I'm sorry you are dealing with his issues. But I like the strategy of just saying he couldn't make it, and leave it at that. I tell people my husband needs alone time, or whatever. Most people get it.

I have two friend who have husbands that I’ve never even met. They don’t ever go out - my kids have met them at their houses (and I’ve heard about how they are both good cooks from my kids - so they clearly engage each other and have a normal, happy home life, but it’s clear, they are homebodies and prefer to stay home. I don’t really care, their marriage clearly works for them, but to be polite, I certainly don’t ask them where their husbands are.

Nobody really cares if your grumpy husband doesn’t come - they will get used to seeing you on your own and quit asking. In the meantime: “Larlo couldn’t make it tonight.” “No way could I drag Larlo away from that Alabama game.” “Larlo works hard during the week and prefers some down tome.”

You can also find ways to socialize where none of the husbands are included (book club, ladies dinner, etc).

Just say he couldn't make it and let it go. People are only asking out of politeness and they don't actually care if he shows up (assuming you can manage your kids without him). Most parent socializing at kid events is just to alleviate boredom and there's no reason to do it if he doesn't want to.

Over the years my husband has just become a curmudgeon. Doesn't want to socialize except with a couple people/families he's known forever. This has nothing to do with COVID. He simply has no interest in getting to know anyone new and has preconceived notions about everyone and why he won't like them.

I'm no social butterfly anymore, but I will socialize with people and especially if it involves the parents of my kids' friends in an activity outing with the kids. If you are in this situation, what do you say/do to make the excuse why your spouse NEVER shows up.

I am way, way beyond trying to convince my husband to just show up and have a good time. It's a futile and exhausting effort that just leads to an unenjoyable time and then a fight later.

Is a simple, "he couldn't make it today" enough? If you are in this situation, how do you handle it?