I joked about this for my whole pregnancy but once my son was born, the thought totally left my mind. I thought he looked like me and his blood type matched up with ours. I'm now almost due with my second, which was a miraculous non-ivf pregnancy and the thought has crossed my mind that what if this one looks nothing like our first, would I doubt that our ivf baby was biologically ours? I think it's all just my own anxiety that make these thoughts come to mind, but if I really actually thought my child was not mine, I don't think I would test and risk having to give up my child.

Yeah it was even worse than that - they knew the twins were boys but no male embryos had been transferred, so I gotta think the clinic should have stepped in pre-birth. But they didn’t. And even worse, the twin boys were each from a different set of parents. No idea how a three way mixup even happens....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you surrender the baby to someone else if it wasn’t your biological child? Would you sue the clinic if the baby wasn’t your biological child, thereby opening up the possibility that the biological parents could seek custody? I wouldn’t test just to test. Know what you’d do if you didn’t get the results you were hoping for.

Never done IVF, but in the event that my baby was mixed up with someone else's, I'd probably want to keep the one I already had and also get my biological one back. I can't imagine a court being willing to do that though.

And the other family would end up with no kids?

Right. I didn't say it's what would be fair. Just what I would want. And, like I said, no court would go for that, so it wouldn't happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you surrender the baby to someone else if it wasn’t your biological child? Would you sue the clinic if the baby wasn’t your biological child, thereby opening up the possibility that the biological parents could seek custody? I wouldn’t test just to test. Know what you’d do if you didn’t get the results you were hoping for.

Never done IVF, but in the event that my baby was mixed up with someone else's, I'd probably want to keep the one I already had and also get my biological one back. I can't imagine a court being willing to do that though.

And the other family would end up with no kids?

There was a recent infamous case of an IVF mixup. The parents were Asian, twin babies looked nothing like them and DNA testing unsurprisingly showed no biological connection. The family tried to keep the babies but the biological parents went to court and won.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you surrender the baby to someone else if it wasn’t your biological child? Would you sue the clinic if the baby wasn’t your biological child, thereby opening up the possibility that the biological parents could seek custody? I wouldn’t test just to test. Know what you’d do if you didn’t get the results you were hoping for.

Never done IVF, but in the event that my baby was mixed up with someone else's, I'd probably want to keep the one I already had and also get my biological one back. I can't imagine a court being willing to do that though.

And the other family would end up with no kids?

I think it would be better to find out sooner than later. If you and your child find out your DNA doesn’t match through an ancestry kit like 23andMe, it would be much harder to track down the lab techs and doctors working when the embryo was made to find out what happened. I also wouldn’t want my kids to find out from a 23and Me .

Good points. I have heard that you can test the paternity at 10 weeks pregnant and I am wondering if it is possible to also test maternity at that stage. I feel like my obgyn will look at me like I’m crazy if I ask. But yeah, not sure what I would do since suing would open up a can of worms as well.

Anonymous wrote:Would you surrender the baby to someone else if it wasn’t your biological child? Would you sue the clinic if the baby wasn’t your biological child, thereby opening up the possibility that the biological parents could seek custody? I wouldn’t test just to test. Know what you’d do if you didn’t get the results you were hoping for.

Never done IVF, but in the event that my baby was mixed up with someone else's, I'd probably want to keep the one I already had and also get my biological one back. I can't imagine a court being willing to do that though.

Would you surrender the baby to someone else if it wasn’t your biological child? Would you sue the clinic if the baby wasn’t your biological child, thereby opening up the possibility that the biological parents could seek custody? I wouldn’t test just to test. Know what you’d do if you didn’t get the results you were hoping for.

Only if there were indications of another race (Asian, African) or the blood type differed from mine or my huaband's.

I'm sure mix ups occur but if the child isn't biologically yours, then what?

I totally understand the cynicism (the whole process is so fraught already), but I really think the chance of a mix-up is infinitesimally small. Even if your child ended up not looking like you it seems far more likely it's because of some throwback combination of genes to earlier ancestors than something going wrong in any reputable IVF provider's lab. But yes, I did think about this now and again during gestation so you're not alone.

I kind of want to. My kid looks nothing like me. Like actually a different facial structure and skin tone, which considering our ethnicity, stands out. I get asked all the time if I'm the nanny. But at the same time, I love her more than anything. I carried her for 9 months so we do share some generic material if it turns out there was an egg swap. But even if she wasn't my egg, she's my kid now and she's the best.

I want to test in case there was any family health history stuff.

Considered it, but at three months my kids looked the same so I didn’t.

I probably sound like a complete cynic, but with so much of IVF happening behind closed doors in the lab, I do wonder if mix-ups occur during fertilization or during the growth stage in the lab. Has anyone on here ever considered or done a DNA paternity and maternity test for a child conceived via IVF?