Emotional intelligence.

Same politics as you.

Take it from me, these are important. Wish I’d checked them off the list when I got married.

I decided my husband was a keeper after he went out late at night to fix a flat for me. (I had left the car on the street where I got the flat and taken a taxi home and planned to go back in the morning and call AAA.)

Moving consistently in the same direction, even if doing so slowly. Good relationship with family, self awareness if familial issues from childhood have impacted them. Transparency about failures in past relationships- and valid reasons. Can hold down a job and a career.

^^

oops that should have gone on the red flags thread!

Cheap is embarrassing. Never, ever a cheap guy.

They're always green, until they're not lol...

Anonymous wrote:Employed with no credit card debt
Work-life balance
Healthy about sex
Isn’t trying too hard to impress others with his life choices

People have debt. Life happens.

Employed with no credit card debt
Work-life balance
Healthy about sex
Isn’t trying too hard to impress others with his life choices

Not being cheap. Offering to or actually treating you to meals. Not adding up everything he spent on a date or an errand he ran for you and then asking to be paid back. Being generous with friends and relatives--even with strangers. RUN from anyone who is cheap.

Anonymous wrote:When your BF drives you six hours to visit your sick mother for a few days and turns around and drives home. Then offers to come and pick you up. That's a keeper!

As long as there are no red flags I agree. In some conditions it is an example of love bombing (if done too soon)

Anonymous wrote:Confidence without a large ego.

Empathy without being emotional.

Practical without being austere.

Educated without being pretentious.

+1

Self-introspective with demonstrated attitude shifts

Not shameful or proud or easily embarrassed

Not conflict avoidant or overly aggressive

Attentive and remembers discussions

Healthy pace of getting to know each other without weird rules, expectations or walls. Not too vulnerable but also not impenetrable and extremely secretive (private is what they will say but there is a difference)

Emotionally available

No bitterness or predispositions from previous pain (loss, bad luck, etc) doesn’t taint all future beliefs


Books. Look at the books they have

Confidence without a large ego.

Empathy without being emotional.

Practical without being austere.

Educated without being pretentious.

When your BF drives you six hours to visit your sick mother for a few days and turns around and drives home. Then offers to come and pick you up. That's a keeper!

A text that says “good morning, I like you.”

What are green flags you recognize when dating?