40 yo woman, married for 11 years and divorced for three. Two kids.

It was far easier that I expected to meet people. I didn't have to try. Stand around looking lost and they come to you. I've been surprised by the number of younger men who are interested in me. I find myself generally gravitating towards men about 5-8 years older. You could go out with a different person several times a week if you wanted to.

Now the bad parts - there are a ton of married men on the apps sneaking around on their wives. It's hard to find a man who isn't either damaged from his divorce or extremely immature. A lot of them, like a previous poster, think they're going to smash younger women or feel like they've earned the right to be an asshole to women.

I've met two people who turned into relationships. Overall, your odds are good of meeting new people, but the goods are odd. I'm happier single.

I divorced and retired at the same time (age 56) so to escape being alone in the cold winter I bought a condo on the beach on the FL Gulf Coast. I didn't need to use an app because they are an army of single women 55+ and they will find you if you make yourself visible. And there are a lot of married women 55-60 whose husbands are in their late 70's+ who are out on their own as well. It's clearly tougher for women because there are many fewer men around. Some of the women are clearly looking to snag a wealthy husband but most are just wanting to enjoy life and have some male companionship. Without exception they are interested in sex within a pretty short time period.

I've had nothing but positive experiences. I don't date, I court. I have been dating someone monogomously for some time and I am smitten. Hope it lasts, but if it doesn't I'm thankful for the time. Each experience has been a positive one, and I have never walked backwards after a chapter ends, only forward. Can't speak to apps. I once tried Bumble and the 3rd suggestion was an ex. I screen shot (sharted?) the picture and said, "should I swipe left or right?", laughed and deleted my app. Everyone I've met that I actually spent time with, it has always been when running around. Men are everywhere. Gas stations, grocery store, work, drop-off. I've had former clients reach out, young waiters. There are men everywhere. It is like there is a shortage of women here. I've never had an issue with someone waiting for sex, but I don't assume that they are waiting and being celibate either.

My divorce was long and painful and utterly ridiculous. I was terrified of what life would be like single, my ex said no man would want me. He was wrong. However, I didn't want those men. I finally learned to love myself without abandon.

My SO is a goodun'. I think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F
10 years married/divorced earlier this year (was separated for years)
Better than expected
Bumble


I think women have much better luck than expected (assuming being reasonably attractive) but men overestimate their luck (but this is just my assumption)

This is so true, about men and women. Men are so entitled going into it, and are shocked to find that they’re not an amazing catch at 50 with baggage.

This. All day, every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not divorced now but going that way.,

Comment on:

M/F
years married/ years since divorce
What you thought dating life would be like vs reality
Dating App

Mine:
M
23/ Havent yet but starting now
Won't be dating for another 4-6 months as divorce settles. Think I will date women approximately 10 years younger, even though haven't been in the game in a very long time I have confidence I will find plenty of dates.
Havent used an app

M
18

Been dating a while now. Goes as expected. I am a bit of a unicorn apparently in that I am a solid earner, a father with majority custody of teen girls, my own home, financially independent.

That said this idea that you will date women 10 years younger likely won’t happen. The dating apps will mostly match you to women roughly your age and most of your interest will be from women a few years older than you.

In my experience, most women declare they want a relationship but once you get them out, they are DTF immediately. One even made a reservation at a hotel to go to after our first date.

Yeah. Those women were f@cking men the first time they met them in person when they were married too. It’s most likely why they are divorced now.

M 62

Married 27 years

I was newly retired at the time of my divorce and I dreaded the idea of dating. But I had a very successful career and I've stayed in shape so it's been better than fine. Early on I was contacted by a bunch of my ex's single friends which surprised me and then I tried Bumble and a couple of other apps and the likes I got were a big surprise with ages ranging from 40 to 65+. It took awhile for me to realize that profiles and pictures are "rough approximations" so I got a lot better on my screening. I'm not yet ready for a LTR which seems to be fine with many of the women so it's been very enjoyable.

Anonymous wrote:Not divorced now but going that way.,

Comment on:

M/F
years married/ years since divorce
What you thought dating life would be like vs reality
Dating App

Mine:
M
23/ Havent yet but starting now
Won't be dating for another 4-6 months as divorce settles. Think I will date women approximately 10 years younger, even though haven't been in the game in a very long time I have confidence I will find plenty of dates.
Havent used an app

M
18

Been dating a while now. Goes as expected. I am a bit of a unicorn apparently in that I am a solid earner, a father with majority custody of teen girls, my own home, financially independent.

That said this idea that you will date women 10 years younger likely won’t happen. The dating apps will mostly match you to women roughly your age and most of your interest will be from women a few years older than you.

In my experience, most women declare they want a relationship but once you get them out, they are DTF immediately. One even made a reservation at a hotel to go to after our first date.

Anonymous wrote:Female
Married 18 years/ divorced for three years, we split four years ago but had to wait a year
I thought dating would be really, really hard since I’m an average looking woman who could lose a few pounds (and I’m friends with several divorced women who are much more physically attractive than me that have struggled with dating).
I had the best results with Bumble- I’ve been with my current boyfriend over two years. I honestly didn’t have any problems meeting interesting people. It was way better than I expected.

+1 This was my experience, too!

F
Married 17 years
Started dating when we separated
Didn’t use any apps. Met plenty of interesting men I was attracted to in daily life. Most within 5-10 years of my age.
Remarried one of those guys I met. He’s 6 years older. FWIW I’m also a mom to three kids living in the home. Reading these boards when I was married had me thinking no one my age would want to date me if I was divorced. That wasn’t my experience. DH doesn’t even have his own kids and I’m a very average looking middle aged woman.

anyone who meets anyone on an app and calls it dating is being played. people will invest many hours on the apps fishing for people to..... it often appears like they are interested but in the end it is all about sex.

Any guy on their has a stable of 5-10 women at a time he is juggling.

Female
Married 18 years/ divorced for three years, we split four years ago but had to wait a year
I thought dating would be really, really hard since I’m an average looking woman who could lose a few pounds (and I’m friends with several divorced women who are much more physically attractive than me that have struggled with dating).
I had the best results with Bumble- I’ve been with my current boyfriend over two years. I honestly didn’t have any problems meeting interesting people. It was way better than I expected.

It depends on your personal circumstances.

For men who are in shape and have money, the world is their oyster. They can date 10+ years younger and there are plenty of options.

For men who let themselves go and/or weren’t that successful in life, it’s a much different world.

Women tend to fall somewhere in between.

Anonymous wrote:F
10 years married/divorced earlier this year (was separated for years)
Better than expected
Bumble


I think women have much better luck than expected (assuming being reasonably attractive) but men overestimate their luck (but this is just my assumption)

This is so true, about men and women. Men are so entitled going into it, and are shocked to find that they’re not an amazing catch at 50 with baggage.

I just posted. I will elaborate.

I expected it to be really hard to find someone interested because I am older (early 40s) and have kids. The reality is I have had more men interested and more options than I did in my 20s. I think the app has a lot to do with this. It just opens up more numbers than possible even in the early days of match.com.

I also expected a never married younger man would not even look my way. I was dead wrong on that. I am seeing one of those men now exclusively.

F
10 years married/divorced earlier this year (was separated for years)
Better than expected
Bumble


I think women have much better luck than expected (assuming being reasonably attractive) but men overestimate their luck (but this is just my assumption)

Not divorced now but going that way.,

Comment on:

M/F
years married/ years since divorce
What you thought dating life would be like vs reality
Dating App

Mine:
M
23/ Havent yet but starting now
Won't be dating for another 4-6 months as divorce settles. Think I will date women approximately 10 years younger, even though haven't been in the game in a very long time I have confidence I will find plenty of dates.
Havent used an app