I am in month four( ish) of using Kazdin. The other posters are correct that you need to focus on one behavior at a time. I had a rough start because I chose the wrong positive opposite for my first month. My kid was too rough with his younger brother, and touched him too much. I rewarded “ giving him space”. He did start playing farther away, but that didn’t help with rough touches when they were closer together.

It’s not in the book, but the most helpful thing I did was buy a huge roll of chart paper, and write Kazdin’s advice on my wall. I marked up the book as I read it. Then I went back and copied the best, most pithy quotes onto posters. I organized them by topic, and hung them where I would need them. I had the most important paragraph across from the at the breakfast table. It’s very robust program, and I found that I had to assimilate a lot of new ways of thinking. Rereading a summary of the book every day helped. If you have an older child at home, just write everything in cursive, so she can’t read it. In month three, the only chart I have left up is the sticker chart that keeps track of his big reward.

Anonymous wrote:We did with our four year old. I picked the most frequent event (daily tantrum when picking up older sibling at school) and made a chart just for that. Chart has Day, “Practice”, “Test” and “Total”. We practiced “waiting quietly for sibling” twice a day. He got it in a week! I actually use the Kazdin charts all the time now, without rewards though (the stickers are rewarding in themselves for my four year old).

The biggest thing about Kazdin is practice. Every behavior you don’t want, you have to sit and practice it’s opposite with your child. So: pick out the most annoying, frequent thing your child does. Ask yourself “what would child ideally do instead?” And then practice that every day. Like literally pretend you are at the park. Tell child “let’s act like we are playing in the park. Now mama is telling you we need to go. Now you start screaming. Scream! Throw the biggest tantrum ever!” Your child will laugh and it will be fun. Then show them what to do instead. And reward the Practice. Repeat until it sticks.

OP here- thank you! What you wrote makes sense and makes me realize we essentially did it for another behavior, sans chart. His "hugs" to younger sister usually resulted in tackling her to the ground, so we did a lot of "gentle hug" practice where I pretended to be DD, which he always got a kick out of.

At 4 and with what you describe, he may not be ready to earn abstract points and delayed gratification and may do better with very small prizes given immediately. For an older kid we did polished rocks (that I had bought in bulk) and sheets of origami paper. Once in a while it would be a small piece of candy. Re-read the book, it's important to start with a low bar he can meet. We ended up shifting the rewards to other behaviors once he had better habits at bedtime after a couple months.

as for working quickly ... we extinguished some seriously problematic behaviors in maybe 2 months? this was with the support of a therapist, but the techniques were basically kazdin. The therapist helped us understand the triggers and helped us keep the structure in place.

read the book more carefully! it’s really important not to try to change multiple behaviors, and to calibrate the rewards properly. at 4 you may also need to use time outs depending on the kid ... a lot of 4 year olds just aren’t that motivated by point charts. also read the parts on incentives very carefully ... at just 4, you basically need an immediate reward. a time-delayed point system may not work.

We did with our four year old. I picked the most frequent event (daily tantrum when picking up older sibling at school) and made a chart just for that. Chart has Day, “Practice”, “Test” and “Total”. We practiced “waiting quietly for sibling” twice a day. He got it in a week! I actually use the Kazdin charts all the time now, without rewards though (the stickers are rewarding in themselves for my four year old).

The biggest thing about Kazdin is practice. Every behavior you don’t want, you have to sit and practice it’s opposite with your child. So: pick out the most annoying, frequent thing your child does. Ask yourself “what would child ideally do instead?” And then practice that every day. Like literally pretend you are at the park. Tell child “let’s act like we are playing in the park. Now mama is telling you we need to go. Now you start screaming. Scream! Throw the biggest tantrum ever!” Your child will laugh and it will be fun. Then show them what to do instead. And reward the Practice. Repeat until it sticks.

Any tips? We've been struggling with getting our 4yo to do what we ask of him and with meltdowns when he doesn't get his way. Almost finished reading the book and want to give the Kazdin method a try. When you put together the chart, how many point-earning activities did you include? It seemed like most of the examples in the book were where the kid was struggling with one particular activity, like bedtime. Did anyone include multiple activities for a kid in that age group? Bedtime can be a challenge but we tend to struggle with transitions in general- for example, no matter if we use a timer or provide multiple warnings, leaving the park or coming inside from playing in the yard results in a meltdown. But it seems like including too many things would get overwhelming. Also, were you really able to stop with the reward system after a few weeks? I find myself doubting this.

Anyway, just looking to get some feedback on what did/didn't work for others and lessons learned.