Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am recently divorced. Honestly, you don't know until you hire them if they are really good or not.

Try mediation first. It's cheaper.

Okay. Unless you don't have the easiest of all divorces (no kids, no assets), do not do mediation. It's really sketchy, and if it fails, you'll send up back at ground zero with having to start over.

I would suggest a good, competent attorney who can cut through everything and keep things simple. It will cost you less in the end than mediation. And I say this as someone who has dozens of divorced friends.

Also, don't trust anyone on DCUM for attorney suggestions. I have noticed through the years that the same names come up over and over, and they're often sketchy too.

Please reach out to friends of friends. Ask for referrals. Then do your research. Please don't get a divorce attorney through DCUM. This person can change your entire future.

You do realize that many mediators are licensed attorneys, right? Even with kids, if you are doing 50/50 custody and splitting or mostly splitting assets, there is not much more to fight about...mediator/attorney drafted the PSA and each had an attorney review it. It is a good way of doing it that is cheaper and less stressful than the litigation route.

Make sure they know you will not allow block billing. All tasks must be individually written out in separate time entries on the invoices.
One lawyer per task. No two lawyers can bill for same task.
If an assistant (non billing timekeeper) can complete a task then that individual should be assigned the task.
Do not allow your attorney to go back and forth with the other attorney. They love talking to each other to ring up the bills.
Ask for estimates before large tasks must be done and ask what you can do instead of them to save yourself some money.
An attorney in a pitch meeting to win your business is not necessarily the same personality you will see once that attorney is engaged.
Don’t expect Clarence Darrow or Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The DMV divorce bar is not where the most highly credentialed attorneys go to practice law. If you want to find a good lawyer, don’t look for a divorce lawyer, find a lawyer specializing in another field for another matter. The best you can hope for is a competent lawyer who is not out to rip you and your children off.
I am sorry you are about to go through this. It’s terrible.

Anonymous wrote:And whatever you do don’t hire one of the expensive DC firms. They will rake you over the coals and you will settle for the same as if you hired a solo.

PP here. this is not necessarily true. I have friends who have wasted tens of thousands of dollars on cheap attorneys. They all regret it. If you find a great attorney at a top firm, they can get your divorce done fast and professionally.

Anonymous wrote:I am recently divorced. Honestly, you don't know until you hire them if they are really good or not.

Try mediation first. It's cheaper.

Okay. Unless you don't have the easiest of all divorces (no kids, no assets), do not do mediation. It's really sketchy, and if it fails, you'll send up back at ground zero with having to start over.

I would suggest a good, competent attorney who can cut through everything and keep things simple. It will cost you less in the end than mediation. And I say this as someone who has dozens of divorced friends.

Also, don't trust anyone on DCUM for attorney suggestions. I have noticed through the years that the same names come up over and over, and they're often sketchy too.

Please reach out to friends of friends. Ask for referrals. Then do your research. Please don't get a divorce attorney through DCUM. This person can change your entire future.

I personally like a few firms in VA - I judge based on professionalism aka don't act like they are on Judge Judy.

Arlington- Dan Dannenbaum
Fairfax - Cooper Ginsberg Gray
Alexandria / Loudoun- Grenadier, Duffet, Levy

And whatever you do don’t hire one of the expensive DC firms. They will rake you over the coals and you will settle for the same as if you hired a solo.

I am recently divorced. Honestly, you don't know until you hire them if they are really good or not.

Try mediation first. It's cheaper.

Pre-covid there are some types of open court afternoons and you could've gone and watched some in action. But now...

You can google forensic accountants. This is more rare than lawyers. I would phone a few of them. The good ones will know which lawyers are good because they will have worked with them in complex matters.

How complex is your divorce? Mine was very complex.

My lawyers linked in profile shows her education and she has a psych degree. This has been very helpful.

She also advertises complex matters like international custody disputes.

Most lawyers will do a 15min phone consult for free, and you can also pay for a one hour consultation with any lawyer you want. I have also done this during my file just for another perspective or idea.

A good lawyer will be calm and level. Mine gave advice at our consult - do x things and come back. She gave an action plan.

There were no 'stick it to him' promises but I have come out very successfully because she is excellent and well respected in court. She also keeps healthy emotional boundaries. You don't want a lawyer who acts like your emotional support. Mine does give some support when in things like deposition though.

It helps to like them as people but you want them different enough that your thought approach can cover a wider range.

If I think of other ideas I'll come back.

I don't have any recently divorced friends to ask. Any other way besides a web search?