Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 15:06     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
Sure! We’re both in our 70’s through and still very physically affectionate toward each other but my desire for sex left after menopause and his drive left a couple years ago. We privately joke about it. That said, however, when we were young we had a great sex life.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 13:18     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No unless it's health related.


Why would this make a difference?

Are you that stupid?


DP. I'll bite. My DH began developing ED when he was in his mid-40s. By the time he was 50, he could no longer get an erection. It took DH a while to see a urologist but he did and made significant efforts to address it - to no avail. So, for the last 5 years, we've had no PIV. I'm willing to accept that because our lack of PIV was not a unilateral decision, we are affectionate with each other and we engage in other sex-related activities - not with the frequency we used to and usually at my instigation. But, DH is always responsive and an active participant.

Do I miss PIV? Sure, I do. We used to have incredible, frequent sex - best I ever had! If I were in my 20s/30s, no sex would be a dealbreaker for me no matter the reason. But, that's not where I'm at. DH is a great, considerate partner and if he could change the situation, he would. THAT is why a sexless marriage because of health reasons is different than a sexless marriage because one person, unilaterally, decided not to make an effort to meet the needs of his/her partner. It's a level of disregard that breaks a relationship. My DH has high regard for me and our relationship.


Please get him to a cardiologists. Vascular issues affect the WHOLE system so the small arteries and veins throughout the body (heart, brain, lungs etc) need to be checked.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 09:32     Subject: Any happy sexless marriages?
I'm where you are OP. I am working on giving up on my hopes for a sex life (any sex life, let alone a fulfilling one).

If I can do that we would have a very comfortable, content, secure, warm, supportive, stable relationship. We have all of that now - I just miss feeling desirable and wanted.

I am better with it than I was a few years ago, but am not sure I can/will ever fully make peace with it - at least not until I'm in my 60s or older. (I'm currently mid 50's.)
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 08:48     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No unless it's health related.


Why would this make a difference?

Are you that stupid?


DP. I'll bite. My DH began developing ED when he was in his mid-40s. By the time he was 50, he could no longer get an erection. It took DH a while to see a urologist but he did and made significant efforts to address it - to no avail. So, for the last 5 years, we've had no PIV. I'm willing to accept that because our lack of PIV was not a unilateral decision, we are affectionate with each other and we engage in other sex-related activities - not with the frequency we used to and usually at my instigation. But, DH is always responsive and an active participant.

Do I miss PIV? Sure, I do. We used to have incredible, frequent sex - best I ever had! If I were in my 20s/30s, no sex would be a dealbreaker for me no matter the reason. But, that's not where I'm at. DH is a great, considerate partner and if he could change the situation, he would. THAT is why a sexless marriage because of health reasons is different than a sexless marriage because one person, unilaterally, decided not to make an effort to meet the needs of his/her partner. It's a level of disregard that breaks a relationship. My DH has high regard for me and our relationship.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 08:24     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No unless it's health related.


Why would this make a difference?

Are you that stupid?
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 07:38     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
Very very limited sex but still affection so that’s a little different and we are very happy - but it works for both. One libido was lowered drastically with medication that is necessary and one always had low libido
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 07:25     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
Anonymous wrote:No unless it's health related.


Why would this make a difference?
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 07:19     Subject: Any happy sexless marriages?
My guess is the people in happy sexless marriages are still affectionate and loving to each other.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2020 07:06     Subject: Any happy sexless marriages?
A friend appears to have one of those. He told me that he’s been having issues in that department since his early 40s, but his wife doesn’t mind - she was never much interested in sex. Otherwise they look OK, spend lots of time together and with kids, traveled a lot pre-COVID.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2020 18:29     Subject: Any happy sexless marriages?
Anonymous wrote:I have to imagine there are some parties where both are happy that way.

I would have no resentment and learn to take care of myself if my marriage became sexless due to a health reason and feel my spouse would do the same, but don’t think I could live with “I’m just not into you anymore” rejection.


I agree with you, the rejection would break my heart. After 36 years together we still take great joy in our sex life.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2020 18:25     Subject: Any happy sexless marriages?
I have to imagine there are some parties where both are happy that way.

I would have no resentment and learn to take care of myself if my marriage became sexless due to a health reason and feel my spouse would do the same, but don’t think I could live with “I’m just not into you anymore” rejection.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2020 17:51     Subject: Any happy sexless marriages?
Sure, lots of us are. We get it elsewhere.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2020 17:51     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
Not if you have one party who’s not happy about it. I think there are a lot where both partners don’t want to have sex, or only want to have it infrequently.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2020 17:51     Subject: Re:Any happy sexless marriages?
No unless it's health related.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2020 17:43     Subject: Any happy sexless marriages?
I’ve come to the realization that sex just isn’t going to be a thing for us anymore. Of course, I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage, but that is where I find myself. I’ve decided that the asking for sex, arguing about sex, feeling rejected, is over. I’m tired of feeling like this and I just have to accept that sex is just not a part of our relationship. So is it possible to have a happy marriage with no sex and no affection? Anyone here doing that?