I think sometimes when a new player comes, then someone who has had a spot then loses their starting spot. That player can then tell parents that the new player is toxic and really create issues. If you like your coach, they will see what is what and if you are unhappy there is always the choice to find another team but before you badmouth a child, you really need to make sure you are accurate. This is why we are hesitant on switching teams at a later age, because not always are the original group happy that your child came on the team.

Anonymous wrote:Signed,

Real Athlete

No you're not!

Disagree. I think both guys and girls coaches need to deal with this type of behavior. After dealing with it for 3 years on a guys team and coaches not doing anything, we are moving on to a new team. The coaches feel it “promotes” competition and the guys to raise their game. In our experience, it destroys confidence. The team has a lot of talent but don’t work together at all and puts each other down

This differs from guys teams. On a girls team the coach needs to handle it (and the coach knows this if he or she is any good - this is pretty much the ABCs of coaching a good girls team. The girls do not have to be friends. They do have to be civil to each other and polite. The team does not work any other way.

Guy teams are a bit different. It is not a good thing, but guys can still play with a teammate who they think is a jerk. Girls do not. In pretty short order a team blows up if folks do not get along. So - any coach with any experience wants to know about such issues before they become a problem.

This used to happen on my daughter’s team. It was disgusting. I don Know if any other girls noticed the nastiness the way I and my daughter did. The nastiness spread. Soon it was a group of girls targeting my daughter. Luckily my daughter chose another sport over the soccer team. I have never encountered such disgusting behavior among my kids’ peers. I have a very low opinion of those girls. My daughter has gone on to make friends with the loveliest girls who have good morals and who are kind and loyal. My advice is for your daughter to join a different team. Those girls are rotten. They won’t change.

tell the coach, the coach should meet with the girls parents to address the situation.

coach may not want to create bad vibes with the parent or the player if she's the best one on the team. puts the coach in an awkward situation

My daughter plays for an "elite" team, and our coaches don't put up with that kind of behavior. It destroys team chemistry. How can you take necessary risks on the field if you don't trust and feel comfortable with your teammates? We had one incident similar to what you're describing, and our coaches nipped it in the bud. They addressed it during a team practice as well as individually during coach/player conferences. Players were told that acting that way would get them benched, and the coaches also made it clear that being a bystander is not acceptable. Our coach does a lot of team building and bonding activities throughout the year, so fortunately those issues are few and far between.

Anonymous wrote:I think your DD could talk to the coach to express her concerns. She should come with 3 or for specific comments. After she’s alerted the coach, she should call out the meanest every time it happens (I.e. let’s not talk that way to each other)

Leave the team

I think your DD could talk to the coach to express her concerns. She should come with 3 or for specific comments. After she’s alerted the coach, she should call out the meanest every time it happens (I.e. let’s not talk that way to each other)

This kid is a bully. Coach needs to deal with it. If you coach chooses to ignore bullying because the kid plays well and helps get results then you need to speak to the technical director.

Signed,

Real Athlete

True athletes are wired different. Also true athletes can have a physical altercation and it stays in lockeroom and you move on. It may sound harsh for many . but real athletes will understand and agree sometimes you need to settle things and set people straight with a physical altercation.

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of new girls on DD's U15 team this year and one of the players has a bad tendency to put down other players. I'm not talking about pointed and direct feedback. Her comments are very negative and said in a nasty tone. She picks on whoever happens to be nearby, including DD, but the poor girls who are not starters seem to be targeted most often.

I noticed the girl is one of the best players on the team. I also noticed to my surprise the coach does not call her out on it and it is really impacting morale. What can DD do to improve the situation? She has been trying to say encouraging things to the other girls to counteract the meanness. Is there anything else she should do? How does your coach handle these kids of situations?

A few slide tackles from behind in practice

There is nothing your daughter can do and it shouldn’t be on her to try to fix the situation. This is the coach’s job.

There are a lot of new girls on DD's U15 team this year and one of the players has a bad tendency to put down other players. I'm not talking about pointed and direct feedback. Her comments are very negative and said in a nasty tone. She picks on whoever happens to be nearby, including DD, but the poor girls who are not starters seem to be targeted most often.

I noticed the girl is one of the best players on the team. I also noticed to my surprise the coach does not call her out on it and it is really impacting morale. What can DD do to improve the situation? She has been trying to say encouraging things to the other girls to counteract the meanness. Is there anything else she should do? How does your coach handle these kids of situations?