I don't have the combo you have, but DH and I are both closest to a sibling of the opposite sex, who isn't the one closest to us in age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t have another child. You make zero sense now.

Ha, I am possibly tired. But right now I have two sisters who love their little brother, and they feel like a pack, in the best way. (I’m an only,). If we added another boy, would we end up with girls who get along and boys who get along, but two sets, in some sense?

What's wrong with that!?

Anonymous wrote:OP this is a crazy question, but I’ll play along. Growing up, my 2 older brothers did more together than with me and my younger sister. As adults, us middle kids are very close, and the youngest and oldest have a close relationship. We all get along and have great big holidays (pre-Covid). I’d never have 4 kids, but that’s a different topic.

This was my experience - 2 boys, then 2 girls. I am the youngest and am closest to my oldest brother as an adult. The middles are not particularly close to each other. Younger boy is close to dad, older girl is close to mom.

If I were in your shoes, I’d be hoping that the 4th was a boy. I’ve always been jealous of people who have same sex siblings. I only have one sibling, who is the opposite sex. I think we’d have been closer growing up if we’d had some similar life experiences. I have 2 same sex children and I’m really happy about that. I didn’t care what sex I had, I just wanted them to be the same sex.

I don’t have 4 kids, but I’m one of four. We definitely ended up splitting into more of a 2/2 configuration, though that had more to do with age and personality than gender (all girls).

I don’t think you can control those dynamics; if you want a fourth, have a fourth, but know that another kid will change many many things for better and some things for worse. If you don’t want any change, don’t have another kid.

That said, I don’t think it was a big deal that we were 2 pairs. We are all still close as adults. The two older ones are still closer since they did marriage/kids around the same time so had similar stages of life to discuss, and the younger ones are closer talking about navigating relationships, etc.

I’ll take a go at this. I have 4 kids, with the oldest 12 years older than the youngest. 3 girls and 1 boy. What I found is that they gravitated to different siblings at different times in their lives, but we still had the overall awesome pack feel (like friendly, snuggly, sometimes obstreperous wolves).

It’s been fun watching how it all plays out. My twins have ended up not that close, while my oldest (34) is suddenly very bonded with her bookend sib (22). They’re adults now with their own lives, and there’s a natural ebb and flow that’s not what I would have expected.

If you want a 4th, have a 4th. I personally have enjoyed it. Try not to worry about the dynamics except to acknowledge that adding one more child will lead to more interactions, for better or for worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t have another child. You make zero sense now.

Ha, I am possibly tired. But right now I have two sisters who love their little brother, and they feel like a pack, in the best way. (I’m an only,). If we added another boy, would we end up with girls who get along and boys who get along, but two sets, in some sense?

What’s wrong with having two packs, as you say? You want to have four kids and have them always play together all the time?

OP this is a crazy question, but I’ll play along. Growing up, my 2 older brothers did more together than with me and my younger sister. As adults, us middle kids are very close, and the youngest and oldest have a close relationship. We all get along and have great big holidays (pre-Covid). I’d never have 4 kids, but that’s a different topic.

What a profoundly ridiculous concern. Worry about having enough time for each child.

sorry- your "logic" makes NO sense whatsoever

It doesn’t work that way. 😆

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t have another child. You make zero sense now.

Ha, I am possibly tired. But right now I have two sisters who love their little brother, and they feel like a pack, in the best way. (I’m an only,). If we added another boy, would we end up with girls who get along and boys who get along, but two sets, in some sense?

Seriously still nonsensical. You get what you get and don’t get upset. In general I don’t think getting along or not has much to do with gender.

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t have another child. You make zero sense now.

Ha, I am possibly tired. But right now I have two sisters who love their little brother, and they feel like a pack, in the best way. (I’m an only,). If we added another boy, would we end up with girls who get along and boys who get along, but two sets, in some sense?

Please don’t have another child. You make zero sense now.

We have two girls and then a youngest boy. I’d really like a fourth, but have a fear we’d have another boy and then have older girls and younger boys, making things more divided and less like one “brood” than we have now.

Looking for reassurance that four kids with two and then two of the opposite sex works well. Maybe not coincidence, but my real life friends with 4 don’t have the “same, same, different” pattern in their first 3. Thanks!